The knowledge isn't a problem. Your actions to them are the only relevant thing. As long as you can provide them with safety and people who treat them well -- even if not yourself -- they should be fine
Why not try? This could be that show of vulnerability they need to change. Tell them about that, tell them how you feel about it, tell them how muchh it hurts knowing tthey are doing what they are, and if you need to fucking cry then cry.Thank you!I have wondered whether to be open about my struggles, and my diagnosis. I actually discussed this with my psychotherapist. I don't know if it's too much for a teenager to deal with, knowing their mum has bpd?
Thank you this is good advice. And secrets are never good xWhy not try? This could be that show of vulnerability they need to change. Tell them about that, tell them how you feel about it, tell them how muchh it hurts knowing tthey are doing what they are, and if you need to fucking cry then cry.
When I was younger I struggled because my dad was so concerned with being a dad that he felt closed off to certain discussions. Sometimes I needed a dad, but sometimes you know what? I just needed a fucking friend, someone who was human and felt pain I understood. Whatever you were before, you can be that for them now. You just have to choose it.
I just wanted to thank you again for your advice about being open about my mental health struggles. I went with my child to the GP today to insist on help for them re: anxiety and self harming..and afterwards I told them about having bpd.. I feel like they were already very open with me about mental health stuff, but that this will create an even better environment of honesty between us.Why not try? This could be that show of vulnerability they need to change. Tell them about that, tell them how you feel about it, tell them how muchh it hurts knowing tthey are doing what they are, and if you need to fucking cry then cry.
When I was younger I struggled because my dad was so concerned with being a dad that he felt closed off to certain discussions. Sometimes I needed a dad, but sometimes you know what? I just needed a fucking friend, someone who was human and felt pain I understood. Whatever you were before, you can be that for them now. You just have to choose it.
It was hard not to cry reading this. It made my day to see it, I really mean it. Something like this is the entire reason why I'm on here even though I feel like I'm doing better these days. I can't change that life can cause pain, but I can try to make sure nobody hurts more than they have to or ever feels like they about be alone or can't talk about what they need to. I'm so happy something I said could be impactful for you, and for the difference you feel like it is making in your life. I hope to see even better things coming for both of you soon. The journey doesn't end here for you but I like to think you're on a greener path now. Please keep me up to date on anything new noteworthy going on with you, if you are open to that. Not just the situation with your child, but anything new for you individually as well. Things getting better with your kid doesn't mean there won't be bumps in the road for you with your condition, but with the right support you can find a smoother path ahead I think. And whatever you do in relation to me, open your heart more to your partner's support as well if you do believe they really mean it and are there for you. I think with time this can make for great changes for all of you.
Oh god this is going to end up being such a love-in/ cheese fest! But OMG seriously yes you really did have a positive impact and thank you so much!It was hard not to cry reading this. It made my day to see it, I really mean it. Something like this is the entire reason why I'm on here even though I feel like I'm doing better these days. I can't change that life can cause pain, but I can try to make sure nobody hurts more than they have to or ever feels like they about be alone or can't talk about what they need to. I'm so happy something I said could be impactful for you, and for the difference you feel like it is making in your life. I hope to see even better things coming for both of you soon. The journey doesn't end here for you but I like to think you're on a greener path now. Please keep me up to date on anything new noteworthy going on with you, if you are open to that. Not just the situation with your child, but anything new for you individually as well. Things getting better with your kid doesn't mean there won't be bumps in the road for you with your condition, but with the right support you can find a smoother path ahead I think. And whatever you do in relation to me, open your heart more to your partner's support as well if you do believe they really mean it and are there for you. I think with time this can make for great changes for all of you.
Do you want the truth? I absolutely don't hate you, I think you are a real sweetheart. I am 22, my birth dad committed suicide when I was 1 years old. He must have thought the same "all my kids would be better of without me". Do you want to know how my life turned out? My birth mother started to sexually abuse me when I was 2-3 years old, she was a prostitute and she pimped me of to her boyfriends and sexually abused me herself. My eldest brother and eldest sister decided to sexually abuse me too. I was beaten regularly, neglected and emotionally abused. I'd like to add that I was in foster care when my birth dad committed suicide. I was in foster care from birth- 22 months old. My birth dad committed suicide when I was 18 months old. I went back into foster care when I was 10 years old. How did I fare out? I am diagnosed with BPD like yourself so I understand your pain and we both know people get BPD most of the time through being victims of abuse. I struggle with relationships, barely have any. I am totally estranged from my birth family. I am no longer beautiful like I used to be. I am obese and have health problems that were caused by the stress of the abuse, the abuse changed me so much I can get pregnant but all of my children die in miscarriages, I had no stability in foster care, I went on to be sexually abused and a victim of domestiv violence again. I am 22. I am the daughter of a man who committed suicide when I was just a baby. I was always told what a good man he was, how he would have protected me.
For what it's worth I don't think that it's morally bad that you're suicidal or here. Your emotions should not be subject to hate. As a parent I do believe you have a higher duty of care than someone without children. I don't know what the solution is. My friend's dad committed suicide when she was 4 though and once she learned that's how he died part of her wondered if he loved her and why she wasn't enough. I personally know (and she does too) that that's not really how any of this works just. Your absence will also affect your children.
I think it's pretty clear you just violated the rules of the forum. Recommend taking this down before someone reports the post. You can ask the question in a more respectful way if you really want to know the answer, but as written it just looks like an attack.
Thank you. I totally get that people are sensitive here as they were hurt as children.. that is a really good point.. It's hard as I represent both groups.. I have bpd due to childhood experiences. I understand people's anger towards me, but also I'm so appreciative of people like you trying to understand xxx
I can't answer the post from @Bobert_Beniro as it's gone. But I just wanted to say for the record.. I only got my diagnosis in 2019. I clearly had bpd before they but didn't know it. I didn't ever have children knowing I had bpd.
