Help Parents Found This Site

[HuskyD'hiver]

Hey there,
So about a week ago my parents found out about me using this site and I'm not too sure what to do about it. I happened because I was talking to someone on my phone about my mental health and ideation, but they then contacted the police and the police tracked my location. I still live at my parent's house for money reasons while I go to university, so the police talked to my parents first and mentioned me using this site. At this point I'm pretty conviced I'm going to fail my first year and now my parents are super upset and concerned for me (and I don't want them to be) because of using this site. Is there anything you guys suggest I should do, outside of catching the bus and getting rid of the problem (aka me)?

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

tell them i said 'hi'

 

[theboy]

I suggest that you will have to tell them that you will no longer enter the site.

 

[saunabliss]

Hey there,
So about a week ago my parents found out about me using this site and I'm not too sure what to do about it. I happened because I was talking to someone on my phone about my mental health and ideation, but they then contacted the police and the police tracked my location. I still live at my parent's house for money reasons while I go to university, so the police talked to my parents first and mentioned me using this site. At this point I'm pretty conviced I'm going to fail my first year and now my parents are super upset and concerned for me (and I don't want them to be) because of using this site. Is there anything you guys suggest I should do, outside of catching the bus and getting rid of the problem (aka me)?

Your so called friend should have never betrayed your trust and called the police. That was a disgusting thing to do. If this person genuinely cared for you, they could have took the time to listen, help you look for mental health services, offer to hang out over coffee, anything to show that they are there for you. Instead, they threw the problem at someone else cause they don't want to deal with it. Thankfully the cops didn't throw you in a psych ward.

This is why I never tell anyone of my suicidal thoughts outside of this forum.

If you're seeing a therapist, perhaps you can have them write a note for your professors so that they can give you more leeway with deadlines and homework. Don't be afraid to take a break from school if you need time. How close are you with your parents? Do you trust them enough that you can talk to them or are they the kind of people that don't listen no matter what?

 

[bobblong]

Just deny all allegations and claim that ur friend is lying . Ur friend has zero evidence on you , if the cops ask anything , remain silent.Also delete all your search history just to be safe. You can also threaten your friend with a defamation lawsuit ! I know this is hard but you can win this!

 

[Equilibrium]

Just leave the site for a bit and wait for things to cool down. This site is literally the only place you be honest about your ideation. It's helpful tool for those struggling with taboo thoughts. Be safe and I hope you can return

 

[SVEN]

Maybe tell them that you come here to read the Recovery Section, as you've been feeling a bit down recently and the positive stories help you a bit.
And, I'm pretty sure that if you start now to post on Recovery you will get a lot of positive comments which will assist in building up a back story to confirm what you tell them.

 

[Rockman]

Yeah just play in game of being perfectly fine and shut up your mouth in these topics in real life. That's should help.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Wait how did your parents find out that you use this site?

You never admitted that to them nor did they catch you. Therefore how did they find out?

Did you tell your friend you use this site? If not then the police obtained a warrant to scour your ISP search history.

 

[rozeske]

People use this site for several reasons, one of them being out of curiosity what all the hype is about.....

 

[Worndown]

Since this site has conversations on more that death, let them know it a great place to work through stressful moments with others sharing your issues.
Upsell it.
In reality, that is not a lie. I believe more people here find ways to cope than find ways to die.

 

[juna]

Just say that you were having dark thoughts due to the pressure of studies, so you accessed this website. But now you feel much better and won't be accessing this site again. They will understand and worry less. Just be straightforward to them, tell them what you are comfortable sharing. Everyone has dark thoughts at some point in their lives, so it's okay.

 

[HuskyD'hiver]

Your so called friend should have never betrayed your trust and called the police. That was a disgusting thing to do. If this person genuinely cared for you, they could have took the time to listen, help you look for mental health services, offer to hang out over coffee, anything to show that they are there for you. Instead, they threw the problem at someone else cause they don't want to deal with it. Thankfully the cops didn't throw you in a psych ward.

This is why I never tell anyone of my suicidal thoughts outside of this forum.

If you're seeing a therapist, perhaps you can have them write a note for your professors so that they can give you more leeway with deadlines and homework. Don't be afraid to take a break from school if you need time. How close are you with your parents? Do you trust them enough that you can talk to them or are they the kind of people that don't listen no matter what?

Thanks for your message, I'll respond to everyone that responded and clarify some misconceptions because I guess my post was a bit too vague on what happened.

It was not a friend of mine that contacted the police, it was through an anonymous online chat that I had with a therapist. I don't know if any of my friends or my girlfriend would do something like that to me because several of them also are suicidal and we joke about so often that I'm unsure if they would even believe me if I told them that I use this site lmao.

I actually think the cops should have thrown me into a psych ward because I feel that that is the only way I could possibly keep myself safe at this point. I know that many people on here actively talk about how awful psych facilities are, but I feel that it is what I should deserve for the kind of shit I've put my family through.

I do have a therapist and I already have an ADD diagnosis that allows me more time for studying and deadlines; yet I'm still failing because I'm too r_t_d_d to even finish my work with the extensions... I love being in a Poli Sci program, but all of my other classes are going to shit from my lack of work completed. Also I don't think taking a break is a good idea, because I nearly did take a leap year and missed the first week and I literally couldn't leave my bed to do anything from being upset.

I love my parents with all my heart and they do listen and will talk with me, the problem is that I don't want to talk to them about my problems and ideation because it's going to make them upset. Just having the police at our door to check on me gave my mom a full panic attack and made my step-dad miss work the next day. I really don't want to do that to them anymore and they are really the only reason I have to live at this point because ending everything would make them the most upset.

Just deny all allegations and claim that ur friend is lying . Ur friend has zero evidence on you , if the cops ask anything , remain silent.Also delete all your search history just to be safe. You can also threaten your friend with a defamation lawsuit ! I know this is hard but you can win this!

It was not a friend that reported me, but an anonymous online chat group. I already use this site with several layers of protection to prevent people from seeing it, except a VPN I guess.

Wait how did your parents find out that you use this site?

You never admitted that to them nor did they catch you. Therefore how did they find out?

Did you tell your friend you use this site? If not then the police obtained a warrant to scour your ISP search history.

The police told my parents that I used the site because the person in the anonymous online therapist chat reported me to my local police. They tracked my phone's location to check in on me, but my parents scoured through my phone and found this site, but I still have access to it.

Just leave the site for a bit and wait for things to cool down. This site is literally the only place you be honest about your ideation. It's helpful tool for those struggling with taboo thoughts. Be safe and I hope you can return

Thank you so much, this was very nice to hear.

 

[HuskyD'hiver]

Maybe tell them that you come here to read the Recovery Section, as you've been feeling a bit down recently and the positive stories help you a bit.
And, I'm pretty sure that if you start now to post on Recovery you will get a lot of positive comments which will assist in building up a back story to confirm what you tell them.

Yeah that's not a bad idea, I doubt they will understand the difference though, but I could try doing that more.

Since this site has conversations on more that death, let them know it a great place to work through stressful moments with others sharing your issues.
Upsell it.
In reality, that is not a lie. I believe more people here find ways to cope than find ways to die.

I did tell them this, but I don't think they understand that and probally just fell into the trap of seeing how people have access to SI here and got more concerned then they needed to.

Just say that you were having dark thoughts due to the pressure of studies, so you accessed this website. But now you feel much better and won't be accessing this site again. They will understand and worry less. Just be straightforward to them, tell them what you are comfortable sharing. Everyone has dark thoughts at some point in their lives, so it's okay.

My parents already know that I've been struggling with depression since I was young and it's not fully my studies that are making me feel this way, I just got fed up with life all together. I don't want to tell them about how I feel in general because I don't want them to get upset and have to worry about even more things in life like having a fuckup of a son. The other problem I notice relating to that is my parents almost seem to forget to some degree after like a week and act like I'm fine; maybe that's just me misunderstanding their emotions or that they are repressing or covering up their concern so I can try to feel better. I really don't know...

 

[HuskyD'hiver]

Hey,
Just making a quick follow up update to what happened and my parents don't seem to listen to anything I have to say about this site. They told both the councilor and psychatrist that I have been seeing about me using this site and they seem more sympithetic to why I might use SS, but they also agree I should not be on here as "surrounding myself with people who talk about suicide is making you feel worse". I beg to differ about this however and I was really wondering if this is the same for anyone else? Does SS seem like more of a positive benefit by being able to express you darkest thoughts, or does this site make you feel worse? (To be honest, feeling worse may be for some the reason why they're on here, not my place judge, that's their opinion on the matter)

 

[Promised Heaven]

I said this in the sticky thread but SaSu is ultimately what you make it out to be. It's a tool.

To an outsider who primarily sees this site through the news or other social media, they'll see this as a pro-suicide site because this is one of the few sites where suicide is seen as an option without involuntary crisis prevention. Society often tries to isolate the conversation of suicide to "If you're thinking of it, please get help", which isn't inherently bad until it becomes "If you're thinking about it, we WILL give you help".

SaSu gives you two primary options, methods to effectively CTB, and resources to heal suicidial thoughts. It gives you free will to decide. While the site encourages recovery, it won't intrude on whatever you do. That's what scares people outside SaSu, the choice of death.
That's why your parents and the councilors are worried, they most likely think you're planning to CTB by being here and want to prevent it.

 

[LunarLight]

Hey,
Just making a quick follow up update to what happened and my parents don't seem to listen to anything I have to say about this site. They told both the councilor and psychatrist that I have been seeing about me using this site and they seem more sympithetic to why I might use SS, but they also agree I should not be on here as "surrounding myself with people who talk about suicide is making you feel worse". I beg to differ about this however and I was really wondering if this is the same for anyone else? Does SS seem like more of a positive benefit by being able to express you darkest thoughts, or does this site make you feel worse? (To be honest, feeling worse may be for some the reason why they're on here, not my place judge, that's their opinion on the matter)

I think SaSu helps me a lot to cope with my suicidal thoughts. It has a soothing effect. I'm not alone.