Venting Overwhelmed

[Margimet]

I was looking at the Instagram of some "friends" and celebrities. I'm thinking about how unfair life is.

Some people have health, beauty, money, a loving family, they can study, work, travel ... And others, like me, stay at home, watching other people's lives through the internet because of illness and have no cure.

I'm 31 years old, I have BPD and some autoimmune diseases (one of them is diabetes and Hashimoto). Since I was a child I plan my suicide. I made a few attempts with drugs and realized that I'm resistant to them.

I really don't want to live, I want to stop thinking and feeling. This life has nothing more to offer me, my mind and body are so tired. The only thing I want is to get cbt. But I don't have the courage to jump off the ninth floor of my building, hang myself or take SN.

I already suffer so much from my illnesses and symptoms, I don't want to have a terrifying moment before I die, I would like to leave in peace.

I'm tired of doctors, meds, hormones, diets, spending the day in bed wondering how everything would be different if I had been born in another family and if they had been careful with me.

I just want to rest

 

[randomz]

Yeah life is unfair. It is also painful and difficult, sometimes pointless. But life's also kinda fun, it has its entertaining sides and if you focus your sights on them, then it becomes worth living.

I am sorry for your condition and where it brought you. I hope for you to get better. If you need anyone to talk to I ( and we as a community) am here so send me a message if you feel like it :)

 

[Jean4]

I understand how you feel. Just remember. What you see on social media isn't real. Very few have the perfect life. We just put out there what we want the public to see.

Take it from this 'celebrity.' The world will never see that I am on a SS forum, Bipolar, fighting every day not to CTB.

I know how it is. I'm waiting for visiting nurse to get here. I may be a 'celebrity' but only leave my house to see a doctor.

Don't worry about others. Try to make your life the best it can be under your unique circumstances which are unique only to you.

You also have a family here who loves you exactly how you are.

 

[satoporu]

thank you for sharing. i can see why you feel that way.
i hope it helps - stay away from instagram. too many fakes on there.
can't suggest a good alternative though.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

It seems like your thoughts are racing. Implusive decisions often end badly.

In the meantime, we are here. There is tons of information here. Keep reading if you can.

Lots of folks here love to chat and there's always somebody around. Lots of us have medical issues, too.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

That's a lot of illness to deal with. Chronic illness like that often comes with horrible depression as you watch everyone else living and can't live yourself. And healthy people rarely understand. I'm in a similar situation. I can only offer my sympathy, I understand why you feel like you do.