My guess - and it can only be a guess because I don't know how they do things in Germany - is that there will be a record, somewhere, of your past attempt at hanging. So I think there is a risk that they would look very carefully at any attempt to buy SN.
If you nearly succeeded with the hanging attempt last time, presumably you know how to do it effectively ...
Why do you want to ctb?
I see from one of your earlier posts that you are trans. If the hostility that trans people sometimes get is driving you to suicide, my advice would be to not let the haters win. Fight back. Be yourself. There are many trans people on this site. You should be able to find a lot of support here. (The Site Administrator, RainAndSadness, is trans herself.)