Venting Ordered a Rope

[kovu]

I already own a necktie as recommended in the hanging thread, though I feel like it's too short to tie around my neck as well as a ligature. Perhaps it's just my incompetence in knot-tying.

Right now, my entire life consists of video games, suicidal ideation, and self-harm. So…why is it this hard to let go of such a pathetic existence?

I'm sorry, I'm feeling particularly terrible today.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

So…why is it this hard to let go of such a pathetic existence?

Hope still exists for a better tomorrow.

Sorry that today is an exceptionally bad one for you.



For educational and informational purposes only (goes without saying):

https://www.101knots.com/

 

[kovu]

Hope still exists for a better tomorrow.

Sorry that today is an exceptionally bad one for you.



For educational and informational purposes only (goes without saying):

https://www.101knots.com/

Thanks for the kind words and the link. The rope will arrive in two days, and I'll be sure to give it more practice with the knots. A generally useful skill, after all.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

A generally useful skill, after all.

True. For all kinds of purposes. Good luck. And hey, if you still have some hope, you still simply have some hope. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. All you can really do is embrace it and take it for what it is. It may stick around for a long time. It may disappear next week. Everyone is different.

 

[kovu]

True. For all kinds of purposes. Good luck. And hey, if you still have some hope, you still simply have some hope. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. All you can really do is embrace it and take it for what it is. It may stick around for a long time. It may disappear next week. Everyone is different.

I honestly believe I do still have some hope left. The problem is that hope alone won't fix anything. I've turned down two job interviews because of my social anxiety which seems to reach ever-higher peaks. To combat that, I'd need professional help, but how are you supposed to open up about your innermost problems to complete strangers when you can't even go to the supermarket alone because you're afraid of paying at the register? Pardon me, I'm venting, rambling. I think it'd be easier to just…give up, quite frankly. I must sound like an utter coward, sorry.

 

[front of me]

I have a rope like yours ready and tied and I don't know how to use it as a partial suspension

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I must sound like an utter coward, sorry.

No, not at all. You sound like you have some issues that need worked out, just like millions and millions of other people.

I've turned down two job interviews because of my social anxiety which seems to reach ever-higher peaks.

There aren't any meds that have been successful in helping you?

but how are you supposed to open up about your innermost problems to complete strangers

I'd say little by little as you get to know, AND TRUST, them more and more, as time goes on, if you ever decided to choose that route. I'm sure it's going to be a big leap on your part and take a tremendous amount of courage to even get started. Somehow, you have to decide what the best way going forward is going to be. It may very well be to not pursue any help, that may, or may not, work anyway. There's no way to know without trying.

 

[yyytry]

I honestly believe I do still have some hope left. The problem is that hope alone won't fix anything. I've turned down two job interviews because of my social anxiety which seems to reach ever-higher peaks. To combat that, I'd need professional help, but how are you supposed to open up about your innermost problems to complete strangers when you can't even go to the supermarket alone because you're afraid of paying at the register? Pardon me, I'm venting, rambling. I think it'd be easier to just…give up, quite frankly. I must sound like an utter coward, sorry.

I feel this 100%.
especially about the stores

 

[kovu]

I feel this 100%.
especially about the stores

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you'll figure it out better than me.

I'd say little by little as you get to know, AND TRUST, them more and more, as time goes on, if you ever decided to choose that route. I'm sure it's going to be a big leap on your part and take a tremendous amount of courage to even get started. Somehow, you have to decide what the best way going forward is going to be. It may very well be to not pursue any help, that may, or may not, work anyway. There's no way to know without trying.

I mean, opening up is a problem in and of itself, but my concern right now is to even reach out in the first place. To even contact mental health professionals. For one, the system in Austria is extremely convoluted and downright stupid, paired with tons of other problems. But I barely manage to talk with people I know on a Discord call. Simply calling a psychiatrist, for example, sounds basically impossible. I just got jittery hands when I noticed that 36 people were viewing this thread. And the call would be the least of my problems, you see? I think I just wasn't meant to live.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't think that not wanting to suffer anymore could ever make someone cowardly, none of us are obligated to continue enduring this existence we were burdened with after all, it's always a personal decision deciding when to leave. But anyway best wishes.

 

[kovu]

I don't think that not wanting to suffer anymore could ever make someone cowardly, none of us are obligated to continue enduring this existence we were burdened with after all, it's always a personal decision deciding when to leave. But anyway best wishes.

I wouldn't call anyone cowardly for that either, but I'm a coward for not having the guts to reach out. (The guts to live, honestly). And because of that cowardice, I also won't be able to get a job and I'll turn into a burden. If I don't manage to get over myself by October, I'll have to kms to make sure that doesn't happen.

 

[WeakBrain111]

I already own a necktie as recommended in the hanging thread, though I feel like it's too short to tie around my neck as well as a ligature. Perhaps it's just my incompetence in knot-tying.

Right now, my entire life consists of video games, suicidal ideation, and self-harm. So…why is it this hard to let go of such a pathetic existence?

I'm sorry, I'm feeling particularly terrible today.

What games ?

 

[kovu]

What games ?

FFXIV and, God forgive, Overwatch.

 

[RichardFirst]

I hope that you find peace.

 

[kovu]

I hope that you find peace.

Thanks, wishing you all the best as well.

 

[WeakBrain111]

Made me smile, I hope you find the courage to push trough your fears

 

[kovu]

Made me smile, I hope you find the courage to push trough your fears

Glad it did! And thanks, I hope so too.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

 

[kovu]

Curse you; I don't come here to laugh. Though, the video makes me all the more glad I ordered mine via the Internet.