Opinion: People who never tried therapy and want to ctb should be careful about it

[noname223]

There are so many good responses here so I don't know if there's much point in mine...

First I'll say that I can understand where the OP is coming from. Seeing a therapist is an option for those who are looking for options.

As someone who once had training in counseling and CBT, I would just like to remind everybody that therapists are just people. Ordinary people who have simply completed a course at an institution. (I should add here that I have never worked as a therapist or counselor, and I do not try to counsel or give therapy to people on this site! I believe in a persons right to end their own life)

Some have a natural talent and some have gained valuable experience during their time working as a counselor. Some people in my course were absolutely clueless, and would have gone on to make terrible counselors but still received their diploma. The field of therapy itself has a lot of limitations and the current models are quite old, they revolve mainly around talking about your issues and finding your own solutions..

There is also evidence that simply speaking to someone who is understanding and attentive can have as much effect effect as all the most advanced methods of psychotherapy.

Also psychotherapy and psychiatry are somewhat of a 'mystical' almost quacky area of medicine, full of unprovable pseudo-science. I don't want to discourage people from seeing a therapist, I just want people to understand that there is no guarantee therapy will help, therapy doesn't work for a lot of people, and those people who decide it's not for them, or not to see one at all are fully within their rights and should be met with understanding.

I have read different evidence for the effect of antidepressants concerning depression. I have listened to lectures of professors like Jordan Peterson. I think he said something interesting. Especially people who have a good life and are nevertheless depressed can benefit from AD a lot.
Though when you are depressed because your life is horrible. You have debts or for example strong somatic pain they might do not have such a huge benefit.

However I was really desperate after several medication which have not worked. But then after a mood stabilizer I felt way better. Not fully sure if this had a causal relation because there also were other events in my life at this time. I am very sure it is not placebo. I had severe psychosomatic pain and then it just disappeared. This was a big relief. At this time I was in a clinic the psychiatrist told me there is not enough evidence that the medication worked at all. (It is true I have read there different reports about it.) I insisted to try it because in my self-help group many said they profited a lot from it. I once tried to stop because tbh it has nasty side effects. And without it I felt extremely depressed and suicidal after a short time.
So it is very difficult to say if a medication will work or not.

 

[rex_deceptorum]

I don't know what the percentage is. But there is a number of people who want to ctb before they ever tried therapy. I don't want to force those people. It always depends on the problems. Some have debts there might is other help needed. If people don't have health care or live in poor country without any help I don't have a good advice. Maybe seeking help by talking to humans rights organizations. I know these words are very easy to say. That is why I try to be careful to say them.

But I think if you are young and struggle with mental problems I think you should first try therapy (if it is available) before ctb. I am young myself. Therapy and medication has helped. Though I still want to die. The situation has partly improved though the situation will likely become worse in the future. I just want that people who are in a temporary crisis should not ctb if their problems are solvable. And maybe they could live happy lives after therapy/medication.
I am careful with those words. I don't like to intervene too much in personal decision if I barely know nothing about the story of a person. And it sometimes seems to sound like platitudes. Though the truth is for some it gets better. I have seen people here in this forum who recovered. (I think I personally never will. But I tried several therapies and countless medication. I think still suicide is unavoidable.)

One other reason is why I am careful with those words. Medication can have side effects. For the majority the benefits are higher than the side effects they cause. However I read stories of people who say their life has been destroyed by side effects of medication. I think they are a minority. But I am not your psychiatrist/therapist. It is always good to talk first to some professional instead of getting an advice by a stranger online.
I think when people are on the edge of suicide they don't have much to lose anymore. So they could first try to talk to a therapist.

This post is not suppossed to be anti-choice. I tried therapy. My suicidality is treatment resistant. But some people can be helped. Before you have not tried it you never know if it would help or not.

Well, I for one have tried more than one tgerapist, and even the better ones are simply out of their element. Generally, they suck at listening and have a shorter attention span than I do listening to political debates (I effing hate politics/politicians)! I am (currently) not suicidal, because life is pretty good at the moment, even though that might not last. I first started at thirteen and that broad was the worst shrink I've ever met, but then again there wasn't that much of a choice back then. Later , as a young adult , I could sift through and test out several shirnks, but even the one I finally stuck with was hardly the "best" - just the "least worst" of the bunch. So much for that! Meds like xanax help, though! At least they don't try to misrepresent my problems or change my personality, passions and beliefs (that was what that first shrink I had at thirteen always attempted to - and failed) and they make me feel calm and content. Then I can work 9n myself and my problems!

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

The\rapists, more often than not, made me feel MORE suicidal than before. The the\rapist I saw as a teen was exactly that: a filthy rapist, just an emotional one. Every time I told her about things that troubled me, like my family emotionally abusing me every chance they got, she laughed in my face, or tried to gaslight me into believing the abuse wasn't real. I always walked out of her office feeling worse than before, then cried myself to sleep that night. I really hope she gets brutally raped herself, whichever way the defendant prefers: emotional or otherwise.

She made me realize that death was my ultimate fate. Although to be honest, I was already suicidal since I was 6.

 

[Blue_mist]

Your opinion is completely subjective. You got better because your condition isn't resistant to treatment which is not that common among mentally ill individuals. I've been seeing psychiatrists since 2003 with zero benefits except horrible side effects and weight gain. people must accept the fact that suicide is a therapy too and everyone should have access to this therapy. I've come to a point where i keep telling myself enough is enough and all my hopes right now depend on euthanasia legislation in Canada, if i don't get approved, there are plenty of peaceful methods available.

 

[l8tony]

I dont want to minimize getting help here if you find it.Howeer it is sad you had such bad experiencee with therapy. There are loser therapists ot there and unfortunately ypou may have top try others. Regarding meds. Not all meds will work for everyone. However many will and they will not lose their efficiancy. As one who is often suicidal I can tell you that hanging on can give a lot of peace that can counterbalance the felings and allow or decent life with the thoughts of dying continuing but manageably kept down.

Thanks for the thought. Hanging doesn't sound pleasant to me and I went through that episode. Sorry but to me it's like tormenting yourself that at any minute the ground your standing on or the cliff you're hanging off of will give way and you'll be on your back. Some people can take alot of falls on their back but falling on your back every second would mess your mental state.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

It's not just the affordability, either. Even if therapy were free/low-cost, there would still be a crucial misconception. People can dissuaded from going to therapy as they fear being sectioned for expressing such thoughts. Usually, though, therapists would do a risk assessment (at least in the US) before even considering that route. Simply talking about suicidal thoughts doesn't put someone in the high risk category.

this a million times. though I gotta say some counselors and other professionals are way too haphazardous about sectioning people.

I've expressed worse suicidal ideation to my current psych and never was at risk of being sectioned. Meanwhile when I was a kid, I was suspended for simply saying I had suicidal thoughts.

 

[settheory]

There is another risk with therapy apart from medication. Many suicidal young adults still live with parents. For many, their lives are still controlled to a large degree. A therapist might make parents put their offspring on a suicide watch or just excert more control generally. This might make CTB either much harder or completely impossible, which is the epitome of helplessness. And generally decrease their quality of life. So it can be pragmatic to not even do therapy for the first time.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

There is another risk with therapy apart from medication. Many suicidal young adults still live with parents. For many, their lives are still controlled to a large degree. A therapist might make parents put their offspring on a suicide watch or just excert more control generally. This might make CTB either much harder or completely impossible, which is the epitome of helplessness. And generally decrease their quality of life. So it can be pragmatic to not even do therapy for the first time.

That's just one part of it. Not only that, 99.9% of therapists ALWAYS take the parents' side, unless there's blatant physical abuse involved. Emotional abuse, on the other hand, is fair game, if not "for your own good". I was being emotionally abused constantly while growing up, and tried telling my therapist about it. How did she react? She smiled and laughed, if not straight-out taunting me like bullied do.

If you're a minor living with parents and feeling suicidal due to how they treat you, the best entity to contact is your state's child protective services. They will be far more likely to actually help you, up to and including placing you into a foster family or a group home. Your therapist will NEVER do that, because their first loyalty are your parents, not you.

 

[motel rooms]

Unless you live in a developed country with a great healthcare system, quality therapy is very expensive.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Unless you live in a developed country with a great healthcare system, quality therapy is very expensive.

Meh! I live in America, and its therapy quality is horrible. American therapists don't actually help you, ever! They just ask you stupid rhetorical questions about your feelings, parrot back your statements at you, and if you tell them something they don't want to hear (like how your family doesn't love you), they mock you or gaslight you. The latter is meant to force you to change the topic without being obvious about not wanting to help you. On top of that, therapists charge $100+ per hour, while a typical working-class job pays about $15 per hour. And of course, the moment you tell them you want to CTB, they call the police on you and smugly watch while you're being put in handcuffs.

 

[Manaaja]

Good therapy can help, but bad therapy can make things a lot worse.

But I prefer actions over talk, so I'd really wish everyone could get a personal assistant. They can help you in many ways instead of just talking, though they can talk too.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

If you have shitty insurance and find a good therapist be prepared for them to leave when they get a better job offer.