Venting Opened up to therapist about my thoughts.– i feel stupid

[futurebuscatcher]

I feel so dumb. "Oooh this how I feel. Ooh I tried to attempt" and everytime it's like "I'm glad your still here. Or good you're around. Thats scary!" All this stuff that's the equivalent of "thats rough buddy". It genuinely feels like they make you feel worse/stupid for not going through with it.

Whats the point of seeking help if nothing is done? I'm making and effort to try to live and it's futile. Why should I even open up of nothing meaningful is said?

It's just so dumb. Here I am moping because I was a coward and now am a laughing stock amongst those stupid professionals who probably think I'm an attention seeker.

Worst of all I don't even think I can fully call it an attempt, just prep.

Ugh this shit is so cringe.

 

[Mamihlapinatapei]

Yeah, I can so relate! Though they are the ones that know it's not for attention.

I appreciate when a therapist normalizes SI thoughts, or (potential) attempts. When they talk about it like it's just a regular topic, instead of a big difficult deal. For me it's such a big part of my thoughts that if we were going to give it special treatment and attention it would either grow even more, or we wouldn't stop talking about it.

There's something refreshing in someone acting normal and calm about something that completely psyches me out.

 

[AmIForReal]

I can relate. They acknowledge but also defer the conversation to other subjects. But with suicide on my mind all else is blocking. I told them part of me wants to fail in therapy so I can ctb. Futile they will not engage with the subject.

 

[maniac116]

I was a mental health nurse for decades & can assure you that no mental health people are laughing at you. Most take their profession & their patients very seriously, no matter how ineffective the mental health system is

 

[EternalTrevor]

I talked with my therapist about feeling the need to ctb, years ago, she didnt seem to care, i was like okay, wont talk about it again. Later was like thank god she didnt care.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I was a mental health nurse for decades & can assure you that no mental health people are laughing at you. Most take their profession & their patients very seriously, no matter how ineffective the mental health system is

Part of that inefficacy is because a lot don't care. I was laughed at plenty. People get laughed at all the time. Maybe not so common in settings like the one OP described but in others.

 

[TAW122]

I think to answer your question was that perhaps you felt that you wanted to vent, or at least get something off your chest. Do keep in mind that mental health professionals (therapists included) are mandated reporters so if they believe (whether it is founded or not) that you are a danger to others or yourself, they are required to break confidentiality, or even report to authorities of a potential danger. While there are some therapists out there that may/not report just for talking about it (not having an active plan, or imminent danger), there is always a risk of having your confidentiality breached and or being intervened against your will.

I would say this community would be much safer in opening up about your thoughts (assuming you don't overshare or reveal personal/sensitive information that could be used to identify you IRL), not be judged, and also be listened to.