Once you choose CTB hard to go back?

[Fadeawaaaay]

Has anyone changed their mind and embraced life?

 

[After Life]

trying to do so everyday but its geting harder and harder for each day

 

[Snake of Eden]

I came across some who did for the time being. It looks like though once ctb is considered as an option then there will always be some kind of a come back sooner or later. I personally have no chance of recovery as I know I am cornered and I am certain nothing will or can improve. Ctb is my only and one answer. If you still have hope then I hope you consider recovery.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I came across some who did for the time being. It looks like though once ctb is considered as an option then there will always be some kind of a come back sooner or later. I personally have no chance of recovery as I know I am cornered and I am certain nothing will or can improve. Ctb is my only and one answer. If you still have hope then I hope you consider recovery.

Yeah, once the door opens it's hard to shut it… Especially when real life challenges feel overwhelming. Feel so much better just to totally ignore the growing nightmare instead of dealing with it head on.

 

[drune11]

Has anyone changed their mind and embraced life?

I began having suicidal thoughts 7 years and 2 months ago. I remember the day it came across my mind as a resignation that this will be the way my life ends eventually. Over the spring/part of summer I was in a relationship that seemed like it would end in marriage. Because of loneliness, this alleviated me of my symptoms and I didn't think about in once. Since August I've been worse than ever.

Point being, there are people, who if their struggles are alleviated, they will probably be fine. Obviously the problem is that not everyone has problems with a solution, and even those that there is a potential solution, unless it's realized, it's of no help. I think it is possible to dissipate the thoughts, but not just through some change in philosophy (which I don't think is simple already), there needs to be manifest changed in life circumstances.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course things can improve for many people, but in many cases things are hopeless. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to improve things and that is the harsh reality of this life. I do believe that if you have seriously considered ctb then it will be hard to fully let go of those thoughts, for example if that person finds themselves in a crisis. I think in my case, the problem is life itself rather than specific things making me suicidal. I want nothing to do with life and I am not meant for this world. The only solution for me is death.

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

I began having suicidal thoughts 7 years and 2 months ago. I remember the day it came across my mind as a resignation that this will be the way my life ends eventually. Over the spring/part of summer I was in a relationship that seemed like it would end in marriage. Because of loneliness, this alleviated me of my symptoms and I didn't think about in once. Since August I've been worse than ever.

Point being, there are people, who if their struggles are alleviated, they will probably be fine. Obviously the problem is that not everyone has problems with a solution, and even those that there is a potential solution, unless it's realized, it's of no help. I think it is possible to dissipate the thoughts, but not just through some change in philosophy (which I don't think is simple already), there needs to be manifest changed in life circumstances.

This. I know I would be ok if I could have that kind of companionship and intimacy with someone. My personality is just not conductive to forming such relationships and I feel that I have lost the one chance I've ever really had at love because I wasn't good enough.

 

[IsThisReal]

Well, it depends on the reasons one wants to ctb. In my case and due to the disabling tinnitus I have since 8 months, 5 months in I started thinking what is the point of all of this, why should I stay and suffer like that when I can end it all? and since then, although I am a tiny bit better at dealing with it, I still want to ctb even more, my brain does not seem to get conviced of accepting to live like that. I need to mention that I had other health issues that I have been dealing with for more than 9 years, but I have never thought of ctb until I got the tinnitus.

So the tinnitus although by itself an enough cause for me to ctb, it made me question my life in a way in which I never did, so indeed it seems that a door has been opened and it might be very difficult to close again. It made me question the structure of society and how it's built, and realize how illusary everything around us is.
Next month I will go to my home country for some time and try to find meaning in life again, if I fail to do so, I will be booking a ticket to go back to my "real home", the universe, the void.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

It's pretty hard to go back, especially when everything is setup and good to go. I can pretty much decide to go through with it after fasting for eight hours

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

Of course things can improve for many people, but in many cases things are hopeless. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to improve things and that is the harsh reality of this life. I do believe that if you have seriously considered ctb then it will be hard to fully let go of those thoughts, for example if that person finds themselves in a crisis. I think in my case, the problem is life itself rather than specific things making me suicidal. I want nothing to do with life and I am not meant for this world. The only solution for me is death.

Terrible pain and mental illness make me want to leave this world. That said, I feel that now I know how it feels to be incredibly suicidal, it has made me see life in a horrible way that I can't unsee. So even if it somehow it miraculously went away, I still think I'd want to CTB all the same.
Ignorance really is bliss; I was so much happier before I knew how it feels to be this frightened and trapped. Now all I see is the ugliness of the world.

Thankfully there is a huge problem situation looming on the horizon which I have no tools to deal with. This situation will FORCE me to CTB whence it occurs in around a months' time.
I wished I had N or a gun by now, as I don't want to use the available methods. But I don't. So I can't even die nicely, after all I've been through.
Man that's rough. I just REEEEALLY hope I don't fuck it up and wind up in hospital in greater pain.