On borrowed time

[msesis]

Anyone else feel like they're on borrowed time? My stupid soul is still kicking and screaming fighting for life for the past six years but truthfully I feel like I died a long time ago, and I'm just delaying the inevitable. I feel like no matter what I do now it will end in ctb. There's no way to fix what is gone. I don't know why I still fight. But it's just causing more suffering and destroying the people around me. I fucked up and now my fate is written in the sand, there's nothing I can do.. but I guess I'll kick and scream till the very end, because of SI, I guess.

 

[Green_leaf]

Yes, I have had the same sensation for a fair amount of borrowed time, as if I was playing a long ago lost match whose referee (SI) is unaccountably postponing its ending.