Obsessive Crushes

[StrawberryRed]

I have an obsessive crush on this guy, like hes the first thing I think about when I wake up and last when I fall asleep. I'm so into him I'm going crazy. The worst part is I think he likes me back or did like me back. I've straight up asked him and hes gone great lengths to avoid the question. It's become impossible to get over him, because I'm constantly subconsciously trying find clues that he still likes me, causing constant mood swings.It's all started when I was my most depressed like 8 months ago, honestly the obsession/ distraction is partially what got me out it. This random guy like saved my life. But now it's just cumbersome, I cant focus when hes around, and compulsively check his insta, his friends insta, his moms small buissness' insta ( yeah ik) multiple times a day. Ive become sooo infantile. I would confess but I feel like that would be going backwards yk? Like would that be healthy for me rn? Id he rejected me I dont know what I would do with myself.IDK ,its embarrassing and I want it to stop. Has anybody gotten over an obsessive crush before, especially one fueled or started by ur depression?

 

[Beelzebub]

I cared about my obsessive crush so much. And the fact is she did want me? Just, that she as AroAce and incapable of "Loving" me. I ended up obsessively exercising and dieting and trying desperately to make myself attractive to her and it nearly killed me. I realise looking back, I wanted a cure for how I felt, and I fought so hard for a relationship to make everything better but it won't. It doesnt make you feel complete, or happy, or magically end the feeling of sadness inside. You should want to share your life with someone, not want someone to swoop in and fix it.

It destroys yourself to put someone on a pedestal like that. It kills what makes you yourself. It makes you put everything aside for pursuing a goal that's completely outside your control. As you shape every desire to end the grief from the loss of the life you only ever imagined for yourself. And it only ever feeds itself as a never ending goal, as failure feeds the desperation, for them to save you.

Sorry if its a bummer, but if I had any words of advice, find why you want him so bad. And try and fix that. Then, when you feel like you can accept no, ask him out.

 

[blackpillhopeless]

It takes time, but you may have to remove every trace of them from your life (if they don't reciprocate). There will be other people you will like in the future.

 

[blacksand]

Yes I have a big crush on a girl at my job who is 15 and I am 29 and it's embarrassing because I think she knows.

 

[BlizzardSnow]

Yes I have a big crush on a girl at my job who is 15 and I am 29 and it's embarrassing because I think she knows.

what

 

[Leiot]

Yes I have a big crush on a girl at my job who is 15 and I am 29 and it's embarrassing because I think she knows.

Attraction is not a choice but what we do with it is.

 

[verdedefome]

I'm guilty of a few obsessive crushes and it's a pretty exasperating situation, the fact that you think it's so close, but that you also know(or think) it's impossible makes it hard to think of anything else. I could only really get over it by "ripping the band-aid off", confessing and getting rejected, or in the worst case completely distancing myself from the person, though that isn't always possible if it's a classmate or coworker or something. But I feel like if you don't make a clean break, it always hangs on the back of your mind, clear rejection would've been better than remembering and thinking of them every now and them for years.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I believe I suffer from limerence. (The tendency to form these obsessive crushes on people.) I had 4 crushes spanning around 13+ years and they just caused utter turmoil!

To get over them, I found it best to try to avoid them. Also, to be strict with myself. To stop myself fantasizing about them romantically/ sexually. It's mainly that that was fueling it all. It's like there is a version of them in your head. That version loves you back. So- when you see them in real life, you look desperately hard for any sign to affirm that version in your head.

Maybe it was being cruel to be kind but, my Dad once pointed out that- they had opportunities to see me more which- they hadn't taken- presumably because it isn't what they wanted! I wasted so much time and energy on this. I'm much stricter with myself now when I feel myself falling for someone. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you get it resolved either way.

 

[DeadEndRoad]

Nah I get it. I've only ever had crushes so I know full well what you're talking about dude. It's definitely not healthy especially since I don't even make any moves so I don't understand wtf is wrong with me. I want it but I run from it at the same time.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I defeated all crushes the love addiction and others

I need no human company or relationship of any kind

Nothing matters

Imo most things are how u see them

Nothing matters to me except avoiding pain suffering problems and my suicide asap

A thousand years ago A pre-science bronze age Man Socrates figured out that:

"The mind is everything what you think you become" Socrates

 

[Valhala]

Strong, obsessive love can kill you because it makes your life completely meaningless without your loved one. I know how you feel..

 

[ForestGhost]

I used to also have the most disgusting limerant crush on a guy a few years ago. If I knew he was out somewhere without me, I would just obsessively dwell on it and imagine him meeting some girl and them falling for each other. It made me so sick I would cut myself to cope.

I don't know, I wish I had some kind of advice but I think those of us who are like this are mostly doomed to experience this kind of sick love. It sucks and it's a huge reason why I'm suicidal.

 

[mattoman]

I have a crush on co-worker, I don't know if she's aware of it, but sometimes I send her snaps while drunk with something stupid written on them and can't remember what I've sent, lmao. Yep, not good. Though she hasn't said anything about those, either she finds those so awkward that doesn't want to bring them up or then I haven't sent anything too bad, or then she doesn't just find me so repulsive that she should care.

I hate this feeling, having a crush in general. As someone mentioned on this thread, it's not in my control. And I'm too much of a wimp to actually tell her how I feel so I could get a closure to this, either she has feelings for me too, or then don't. I kinda hate the idea that she's a coworker, so whatever the answer would be it would make things awkward.

Oh well, I don't really even know if I would find her to be girlfriend material for me or is it that I just find her nice and attractive and I'm dwelling in my own sadness and depression and think that "she could fix me". God knows.