Obsessing over someone that doesn’t care about me anymore

[tryingmybest]

Last year I was in a relationship with a man a lot older than me (16 year age gap). We had a lot of good times but also a lot of toxic ones. I knew he was using me right from the start but I didn't care. I still don't. I just wanted to feel loved because I was so lonely. I am even more lonelier without him. Today I realised we've been broken up for a whole year but that time dosent even feel real to me. I still am completely obsessed with him and when I was with him i lost my whole self in him. I miss him so much but he honestly does not care about me anymore. Idc he groomed me i'm so lonely, i still think about him everyday. Has anyone else been obsessed with someone before? This is so pathetic

 

[Huntfish34]

I don't think it's pathetic at all, thank you for sharing this. I'm still kinda obsessed with a couple toxic relationships that I've been in and it fckn sucks. I hate it, almost soul crushing.

You deserve better than him, just remember that. Take care. -

 

[orca87]

I'm not a fan of labels but it's the toxic relationships that creates the most obsessions.
Or, only if there is love (or obsession), things can hurt you (the toxic part).

Toxic behavior is just toxic because the other one cares

 

[sou.blank]

yeah

 

[SexyIncél]

Not pathetic at all. Obsession has many forms. It's even possible to have a healthy mutually-obsessive relationship, regardless of age gaps. But I think only if both have the combined ability, will, and morality to fix problems that inevitably come up

 

[6MillionWaystoDie]

I'm not sure if I've been obsessed with a particular person. But I was obsessed with trying to figure out why what a particular person said to me wasn't matching up with their behaviors. If it did we could of maybe had something really great together. Something that we each claimed we wanted so bad. What I really had to come to terms with was that such words were only a tool of marketing and manipulation.

One could say I've been obsessed with finding a specific type of relationship. But I feel its left me open to nothing but sheer manipulation and subtle forms of mental abuse.

Thankfully I gave up hope on that BS. Noone is dependable. And the majority of men these days think women are solely made for sex and objectification. No I don't think all men are like this but unless you're GG Haddad you don't have a shot at something real. At least if I was her however, I could trade sex for material sh*t then I could feel i got a consulation prize.

F*ck this dude! You sound young and hopeful still. Don't waste your "good years" on this POS. I sure wish someone told me 20 years ago that I had a societal expiration date that was liable to be hastened by social media. If someone did I certainly don't believe I'd be here today.

 

[SexyIncél]

F*ck this dude! You sound young and hopeful still. Don't waste your "good years" on this POS. I sure wish someone told me 20 years ago that I had a societal expiration date that was liable to be hastened by social media. If someone did I certainly don't believe I'd be here today.

100%, great advice. I think it's important to evaluate many people, which means getting to know more people you might like. But safely

Maybe 1st order of business: get people who accept, like, and respect you. The sort of person you kind of like too. You can call them "friends", fans, doesn't matter

If you don't, you'll probably crave recognition too much. Such cravings make potential companions seem better than they are -- just like hunger makes you buy nastier food. Hopefully you can find people here for that, my PMs are always open for anyone, I'm sure others are too. Of course, don't let anyone take advantage of you

 

[Buddha.chris]

It was In love with this girl she and I had a bond that was unbreakable I confided in her my deepest darkest secrets she knew about my autism my depression my learning disability she even knew I was suicidal it lasted off and on for 4 years I found out she's was cheating on me from the very beginning and she was talking very very bad about me one night I got a call from a guy saying that that " I was kissing a girl that he,s D*ck in her mouth" and then he started arguing with me as he was saying this my heart was breaking into pieces I never in 1 million years would've thought that she would betray me that like I'm still very broken mentally and hurt because of this and it's been 6 years since this happen back in 2017 when I graduated high school :( I still think about those moments and cry I would get bullied a lot in hs and after hs , a lot of trauma has been caused to me from being in a relationship from The point forward I don't trust anybody I never will trust anybody don't care how much they try to convince me:( life is suffering and hell for those Who have big hearts they get stepped on and are perceived to be weak so people take advantage I hate people like this they are they worse mankind had to offer

 

[vanillasilverberry]

That's definitely not crazy at all. I recently just broke up with my boyfriend that I was in love with. I confided in him about things I never had the courage to tell anyone else and we had a bond that I believed was unbreakable and would last forever. But then out of the blue he ended things and I haven't been able to let go. I send him texts now and then even though I know he won't answer. I know that he's probably moved on and I am a distant thought in his mind but sometimes I still hope that he'll come back. I definitely understand what it feels like to miss someone so much even though you know they don't care about you. It's heartbreaking and gut-wrenching especially if all you wanted was to be loved and not feel lonely.

 

[Unattainable666]

Last year I was in a relationship with a man a lot older than me (16 year age gap). We had a lot of good times but also a lot of toxic ones. I knew he was using me right from the start but I didn't care. I still don't. I just wanted to feel loved because I was so lonely. I am even more lonelier without him. Today I realised we've been broken up for a whole year but that time dosent even feel real to me. I still am completely obsessed with him and when I was with him i lost my whole self in him. I miss him so much but he honestly does not care about me anymore. Idc he groomed me i'm so lonely, i still think about him everyday. Has anyone else been obsessed with someone before? This is so pathetic

Sounds as if you were with a narc. They are unable to love anything, including themselves. Best way to get over them is go no contact and move on with your life. Allowing someone to hurt you is WRONG in so many ways. Good luck. If you want to talk more about this let me know. I'm honestly a pro at narcissism.