Help Now?

[Felodese]

Today everything is ready and I have the perfect spot to ctb in all to myself. I have this place to myself until tomorrow evening.
If I wait I'll probably have to do it in my car or something, but I don't really know where I'd be able be alone and undisturbed.

Right now my main reason for hesitating is that I'm pissed at my shrink. I would like the opportunity to ask him a few questions about why he's been such a dick - which I can't do until monday.
Another problem with waiting is that my shrink knows I'm suicidal and has already had a psychiatrist call to interrogate me about whether or not I intended to ctb. Lying to some stranger on the phone is one thing, but if I show up at the clinic on monday I might risk getting committed, if I end up being too honest...

Therapy was kind of my last chance - or at least the last effort I was going make before giving up alltogether - so he's ruined that for me and I would like some answers. (And maybe also a chance to tell him to go fuck himself.)

One option is to call instead of showing up on monday, and then ctb in my car.

Not asking anyone to decide for me. Just some input. What would you do?

 

[SVEN]

I'd not do anything until I felt the only thing I could do was ctb. As long as I had things I wished to attend to (telling someone they're a knobhead for instance) I'd not feel that I was totally committed to dying.
That's very much me though, you may feel very differently.
Best wishes in success in whatever you decide.

 

[Felodese]

I'd not do anything until I felt the only thing I could do was ctb. As long as I had things I wished to attend to (telling someone they're a knobhead for instance) I'd not feel that I was totally committed to dying.
That's very much me though, you may feel very differently.
Best wishes in success in whatever you decide.

Thanks for answering. I really appreciate it

 

[maniac116]

I hope you have a good smooth transition & find a place of peace & love

 

[Felodese]

I was dumb enough to show up at my appointment. Tried to confront my shrink and of course he made me out to be crazy.
I wish someone would just put a bullet in my head. It seems I'm too fucking pathetic to do it myself...

I just don't fucking know what to do