Unattainable666
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2023
- 1,346
Well, it' early morning and I'm sitting on the couch thinking about my life or what I like to call my shit show. Since Chris was murdered I've mentally gone downhill slowly. Now I'm going into work and will be fired because I work for a bitch who is so much like the narc mother I had I asked to not work for her anymore. They consider me a problem something to get rid of not a person with mental issues. They live their lives laughing, having friends and family. He took her from me. He killed her and walked away. I am haunted every day by her death. There is no relief any more. The bitch who had me destroyed my life. I often think of what I could have become if I had a parent who loved me, but that's not important any more What is - is. When they fire me today Im going to walk out with my head up. Gonna come home, call Goodwill to get the shit in the house, close out my bank accounts, take the cat and leave. Gonna go back where I was happy (near the beach). I'm tired of begging someone anyone to love me - it's pathetic. I'm pathetic. I've had enough pain and I want it and need it to stop. It's become a physical pain that I can;t endure. People ask if you can die of a broken heart the answer is yes. I am living proof. I'm so fucked up, no new job, new apartment, new state - nothing will help anymore - it follows me like a black cloud. People using other people for their own gain - this is a pathetic world. I'm too fucked up to live anymore. Sorry I'm rambling. If it hadnt been for this site and some of the nicest people on it I would have been gone a long time ago. Thank you for listening.
