tasmaka
New Member
- Feb 14, 2026
- 2
Im not sure exactly what I lost but somethings genuinely leaving my life slowly and its draining everything I do
Ive been like seriously unstable since I can remember, like starting middle school and now being a new adult trying to finish school nothings changed. The cycle of, I cant take it anymore, oh hey Im better.., its coming back. It never ends and everyone just images it does but nobody really gets it?? "Get well soon!!" It never does!
Besides who would want to get better just to be a blind cog in the world we live in, nothing matters, we are all powerless, and life exists without reason or purpose, why does everyone exist without actually opening their eyes?? Im sick of people trying to put religion onto me as religion means NOTHING the harder you think of it, but I really do envy the blissful ignorance people can have, but its all just something to numb the weight of existence.
Ive always been unstable, suicidal, anxious, and all around a wreck. As a kid Id never stop crying, and now too. But now its not sadness but frustration, how can people live so stupidly… Ice currently gotten into another period of this very high risk taking state, Nothing matters, ill die, whatever. But its just like , more this time? Not emotionally but physically.
The other day I tried to strangle myself with my ID lanyard, I pulled both ends until I lost feeling in my face, and then id lose grip, I gave up. Defeated , I go back to clawing skin out my left arm in frustration. I can only sit and wait until the day comes and I die at my own hands, but until then I wait like a coward who is no different than those I ridicule for being ignorant, yk? If I want to die, then I should, but peace isnt for cowards.
Does a perfect death method exist? ive wondered forever but Id prefer not finding out too late. Ive overdosed before, and its less than favorable. And cutting does nothing as Im a wuss. Lmk if theres anything true
Ive been like seriously unstable since I can remember, like starting middle school and now being a new adult trying to finish school nothings changed. The cycle of, I cant take it anymore, oh hey Im better.., its coming back. It never ends and everyone just images it does but nobody really gets it?? "Get well soon!!" It never does!
Besides who would want to get better just to be a blind cog in the world we live in, nothing matters, we are all powerless, and life exists without reason or purpose, why does everyone exist without actually opening their eyes?? Im sick of people trying to put religion onto me as religion means NOTHING the harder you think of it, but I really do envy the blissful ignorance people can have, but its all just something to numb the weight of existence.
Ive always been unstable, suicidal, anxious, and all around a wreck. As a kid Id never stop crying, and now too. But now its not sadness but frustration, how can people live so stupidly… Ice currently gotten into another period of this very high risk taking state, Nothing matters, ill die, whatever. But its just like , more this time? Not emotionally but physically.
The other day I tried to strangle myself with my ID lanyard, I pulled both ends until I lost feeling in my face, and then id lose grip, I gave up. Defeated , I go back to clawing skin out my left arm in frustration. I can only sit and wait until the day comes and I die at my own hands, but until then I wait like a coward who is no different than those I ridicule for being ignorant, yk? If I want to die, then I should, but peace isnt for cowards.
Does a perfect death method exist? ive wondered forever but Id prefer not finding out too late. Ive overdosed before, and its less than favorable. And cutting does nothing as Im a wuss. Lmk if theres anything true
