Note

[guessilldie]

I reached a really significant point in my career. I worked hard for the last 2 years and I did it. I gave life a chance. Still feel nothing. Like every other time a normal person should feel joy.

Fuck anhedonia and autism.

Anyway a lot of people are proud of me now I guess.

My question is, should I leave a note or not.

I have a lot to say, but I don't want anyone in my family to feel bad about my suicide.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess it's up to the individual after all whether to leave one, it's a personal decision, in my view maybe it could give those left behind potentially some understanding. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Would you not ctb if you felt more joy?

 

[guessilldie]

Would you not ctb if you felt more joy?

I don't know if I would ctb if I was actually normal. But 28 years of just feeling like an alien no matter what kind of people I'm around is too much.

I guess it's up to the individual after all whether to leave one, it's a personal decision, in my view maybe it could give those left behind potentially some understanding. But anyway I wish you the best.

When I was a teen my parents found my suicide letter and my rope and just didn't talk about it. I think they now what is coming. I don't blame them. They are almost in their 60s and don't know what mental illness is. Other then them nobody would even notice and I'm not joking. Haven't talked to my brother in 10 years and he have 3 kids now ..

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I'm sorry that life led you to this. If you want to vent here or privately I'll be here to listen.

 

[guessilldie]

I'm sorry that life led you to this. If you want to vent here or privately I'll be here to listen.

Thank you for the offer but I just don't have it in me anymore.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I have some friends with autism. They built a sense of community amongst each other, but damn, it's hard being autistic and alone. I understand you mate.