Boochky

Boochky

Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
Feb 23, 2019
334
Hi,

I just wanted to say thank you to this community for helping me figure out that I don't want to die.

I'm running out of money and I felt backed into a corner.

But I don't hate myself or life like many people here unfortunately do.

Having my SN is a comfort. But whenever I set a date, I'd get scared.

I love all of you. Thank you for talking. Wishing you the best peace possible.

Mods, please don't ban me. I'd like to keep loving people here.

With gratitude,
Boochky
 
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Lethe

Lethe

Fey
Sep 19, 2019
670
I'm glad that you decided to live. Wishing you all the best. :heart:
 
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fettuccinee

fettuccinee

Member
Oct 3, 2019
54
Happy for you <3
Good luck on all your future endeavors.
 
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White_Room293

White_Room293

rapid cycling gay guy
Sep 13, 2019
155
Hi,

I just wanted to say thank you to this community for helping me figure out that I don't want to die.

I'm running out of money and I felt backed into a corner.

But I don't hate myself or life like many people here unfortunately do.

Having my SN is a comfort. But whenever I set a date, I'd get scared.

I love all of you. Thank you for talking. Wishing you the best peace possible.

With gratitude,
Boochky
You know what's odd and makes me think I'm borderline or something? I really don't hate myself either or at least don't think I do. I just feel like I need to die to avoid the fucking frustration of life and my past failures and worry of my future fuck ups. If that means I hate myself then sure but I don't sulk or look in the mirror in disgust. In fact, I look in the mirror and admire and stare at myself for like an hour sometime. Perhaps I am just a giant self centered asshole. I mean I hear that quite often and I don't really care because I love it either way.
 
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less than

less than

not important
Jul 25, 2019
195
I wish you all the best for your further life. Glad to hear that this community was helpful in this manner. If you have a new needing to talk feel free to come back. You're always welcome.
 
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Numbtopain97

Numbtopain97

deader than dead
Aug 10, 2019
443
wish you all the best :heart:
 
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Blackjack

Blackjack

I’ll be watching...
Aug 6, 2019
777
All the best to you. And I hope the Shawn's Law contingent reads your post.
 
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Boochky

Boochky

Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
Feb 23, 2019
334
All the best to you. And I hope the Shawn's Law contingent reads your post.
I didn't even think about that. They can interview me!
 
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L

LonelyLight

Warlock
May 31, 2019
779
Very best of luck to you!! :heart:
 
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BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
That's fantastic news. Best of luck to you. I hope you achieve everything you ever dreamed of ❤
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
Good luck in your future endeavors. You are my hero.
 
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
That's some good news today! Wish you the best of luck.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
Good for you!
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
Really happy for you @Boochky
 
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Boochky

Boochky

Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
Feb 23, 2019
334
Thanks, all!

I wanted to extend an offer. I'm on disability with nothing to do. I see so many people who are lonely and need love. I have too much love to give so if you want to talk, I'd be honored to love you. Please PM me.
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
Not many threads I love on here but I do with this one. You come to a very dark place on SS and you come out of it either via death or a feeling that actually death isn't on the horizon anytime soon.
I came here desperate and I'm now not but feel part of an amazing community.
Bless you all ❤️
 
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Boochky

Boochky

Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
Feb 23, 2019
334
Not many threads I love on here but I do with this one. You come to a very dark place on SS and you come out of it either via death or a feeling that actually death isn't on the horizon anytime soon.
I came here desperate and I'm now not but feel part of an amazing community.
Bless you all ❤️

Thanks @Rachel74

It was very dark and scary. I'm so grateful to everyone for helping me navigate out.
 
Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
Thanks @Rachel74

It was very dark and scary. I'm so grateful to everyone for helping me navigate out.
I was the same, came here to find a peaceful method to CTB, got my N and now I don't want to go yet. I thinking helping people on here as been a good therapy for me.
 
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bpd_notme

bpd_notme

Member
Oct 4, 2019
14
You know what's odd and makes me think I'm borderline or something? I really don't hate myself either or at least don't think I do. I just feel like I need to die to avoid the fucking frustration of life and my past failures and worry of my future fuck ups. If that means I hate myself then sure but I don't sulk or look in the mirror in disgust. In fact, I look in the mirror and admire and stare at myself for like an hour sometime. Perhaps I am just a giant self centered asshole. I mean I hear that quite often and I don't really care because I love it either way.

What does this have to do with borderline? Don't most people with borderline hate themselves? Also borderline has a 10% completion rate of suicide. Different statistics say dif things for schizophrenia and bipolar, but one study estimated the completion rate for BOTH was 5%. Regardless which study is correct for bipolar suicide rates, that just gives an idea of how high a 10% completion rate of suicide is.
 
White_Room293

White_Room293

rapid cycling gay guy
Sep 13, 2019
155
What does this have to do with borderline? Don't most people with borderline hate themselves? Also borderline has a 10% completion rate of suicide. Different statistics say dif things for schizophrenia and bipolar, but one study estimated the completion rate for BOTH was 5%. Regardless which study is correct for bipolar suicide rates, that just gives an idea of how high a 10% completion rate of suicide is.
My psychiatrist said it is a possibility and I have anxiety so I overthink everything. It's probably just the rapid cycling.
 
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Boochky

Boochky

Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
Feb 23, 2019
334
I was the same, came here to find a peaceful method to CTB, got my N and now I don't want to go yet. I thinking helping people on here as been a good therapy for me.
Yes
I was the same, came here to find a peaceful method to CTB, got my N and now I don't want to go yet. I thinking helping people on here as been a good therapy for me.
It is great therapy! I felt frustrated because I have the heart to help, but I'm very sick with bipolar and can't. Helping here is something I can do.
 
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alexithymia

alexithymia

Student
Sep 18, 2019
176
Very, very happy for you. I wish you all the best in life.
 
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bpd_notme

bpd_notme

Member
Oct 4, 2019
14
My psychiatrist said it is a possibility and I have anxiety so I overthink everything. It's probably just the rapid cycling.

It just didn't seem at all related to bpd is all. That sucks about the rapid cycling.
 
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L

Let'sgetoutofHERE

Member
Oct 7, 2019
81
Wow, that's so great, OP!!! Lots of love to you ❤️
 
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E

EmptySteph62

Student
Aug 4, 2019
169
Wishing you the best friend, I'm so glad to hear that you've decided to live <3
 
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Boochky

Boochky

Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
Feb 23, 2019
334
Thanks so much for all the love! Please know that its not unrequited. I truly love every one of you ❤️ and wish the best for you!
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Enlightened
Sep 14, 2019
1,325
That's amazing news. It's nice to hear. I wish you the best of luck in your future.
 
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Boochky

Boochky

Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
Feb 23, 2019
334
That's amazing news. It's nice to hear. I wish you the best of luck in your future.
Why thank you! I truly wish I could take your pain away I'm so sorry you're suffering.
 
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