Venting Not wanting to suffer

[FuneralCry]

In my case I'd never want to suffer and in existence there is endless potential to suffer with no limit as to how unbearable existing can get, I don't see any value in the futile and torturous burden that is human existence and I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what. And this is why I really despise how there's no acceptance towards the fact that not everyone wants to suffer so unnecessarily in this existence that was always so meaningless and undesirable in the first place.

It's disgusting how preferring the true peace of non-existence over pointless suffering isn't seen as a valid way to feel. No matter what suicide should always be accepted as a valid personal choice with those who want to cease existing on their own terms having the ability to die in a guaranteed, painless way and it's beyond unacceptable and hellish how this isn't the case.

As after all it isn't like anyone chose this in the first place and I never would have so access to peaceful suicide should be the most basic human right, I've personally only ever found comfort in death and all I've ever wished for is to be permanently unconcious. The thought of suffering until old age terrifies me, it's so disturbing how a human is capable of feeling such immense agony in an existence that was always so pointless anyway. For me suicide is all that feels rational especially as there are no disadvantages to being unaware for all eternity, existence itself really is the true problem.

 

[final_countdown12]

So whats your plan?

 

[Anon1337]

So whats your plan?

She's said before that she can't access peaceful methods like N.

 

[Kalista]

i was about to reply in one of the recent posts about wishing she had the option to sleep eternally, but i'll do it here instead.

i feel for you and agree and support with some of the things you say. i wish you'd get the thing that you want as well, yet there are resources being passed around here that people can make use of IF available in their country or if it can be shipped there when the source is from another.

i've been trying to understand you since early this year when i first took notice of the endless poetic posts which you constantly and comfortably express.
i'm asking the questions below with some respect but also with frustration. also asking in a straightforward manner because walking on eggshells about this is not the way to go when you've been here for many years posting basically the same thing but worded differently and being a sort of celebrity in the forum in and out.

i don't understand why you haven't tried yet when there are resources being talked about on here, or are you in limbo like many are in here? this is with an obvious assumption that you haven't based on all of your posts.
why won't you let yourself try to be at peace?
when will it end for you? will you just let yourself be miserable for the rest of your days without doing anything about it?
what's stopping you? are you not doing well financially to get the materials? i would seriously mail you my unopened sn or buy you some right now if you really want to sleep eternally. the forum doesn't condone this kind of action, but if someone needs help to die, then why aren't we helping each other in that respect? Placing unnecessary limitations on what already is a difficult material to get. as long as you're willing to take and accept the risk of being found.

i ask all of these out of curiosity and to achieve some level of understanding on how can one post here for many years and have the same things said over and over again, yet have not done anything within that time frame to truly leave.
clearly there's a level of brokenness here and i feel for you on that.

or is this behavior end game for you? is this how the rest of your life is going to be -- just venting until natural death finally reaches you?

 

[final_countdown12]

She's said before that she can't access peaceful methods like N.

Thats not a plan.
Really, Whats the plan? Just repetitively vent everyday to achieve the 1 Million post millestone? Im genuinely curious. Hope OP can find peace soon

 

[Anon1337]

Thats not a plan.
Really, Whats the plan? Just repetitively vent everyday to achieve the 1 Million post millestone? Im genuinely curious. Hope OP can find peace soon

She's trapped here because she can't access peaceful methods.

 

[final_countdown12]

She's trapped here because she can't access peaceful methods.

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

PPH Essentials 2022

https://bunkrr.su/d/STZOEANPJhEjC [link has no preview] Edit: August 2023, fixed the links.

sanctioned-suicide.net

As other member said before, almost all methods are fairly acessible in UK, except for guns.
Of course, you need some mininal energy and minimum capital $ for researching etc etc but most methods are doable if proper planned.

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

or is this behavior end game for you? is this how the rest of your life is going to be -- just venting until natural death finally reaches you?

I hope not because that would tragic beyond belief. At the same time there certainly is no reason to think that it won't end up that way as of now.

I had already suggested she try to reflect on what she can do. It's hard to figure out the practical aspects like how to afford the materials when you're disabled and shut away from the world. But moving in that direction could make it easier to bear life until you can leave rather than just aimlessly floating in the boundless ocean of existence.

 

[Optimu$]

If @FuneralCry has autism, OCD or just intrusive thoughts then his/her (presuming her) mind will probably only accept methods with great certainty and minimal SI such as N even though other methods are reliable. In all my time of viewing sasu as a guest I've never seen a reply from her.