Not wanting people to know I died this way?

[PromisedLand]

It's just far too late to make my life worth living. Too many bridges are burned, and it's all just too sad. I have wanted to die for over 20 years now, but have been pressured/ bullied into continuing to battle. Life is getting more difficult, not less difficult. I have no real friends left.

But is it unusual that I do not want people to know that I die by suicide?

Ideally I wanted to make it look like a homicide, but that seems too difficult.

So I am planning to go into the middle of nowhere with a piece of rope, and find a suitable low tree branch. I hope for my body to never be found, so nobody will ever know the truth of what happened to me.

 

[sukiduki]

i don't think it's unusual. i don't people to know i'm committing suicide either. i want to make it look like an accident or overdose

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

It's not unusual. I feel the same way, it's one of the reasons I'm still here. I'm most worried about 2 of my friends finding out my COD. I've made peace with other friends and family knowing, but these 2 friends can't know. Been spinning my wheels for years, trying to think of ways to make my CTB look like an accident.

 

[sukiduki]

It's not unusual. I feel the same way, it's one of the reasons I'm still here. I'm most worried about 2 of my friends finding out my COD. I've made peace with other friends and family knowing, but these 2 friends can't know. Been spinning my wheels for years, trying to think of ways to make my CTB look like an accident.

for me i already have mutuals/people in my circle who know i engage in drugs recreationally. so maybe mentioning you've dabbled in substances might help an attempt to look like an accident.

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

for me i already have mutuals/people in my circle who know i engage in drugs recreationally. so maybe mentioning you've dabbled in substances might help an attempt to look like an accident.

I did consider that a few years ago, but they'll all know it wasn't an accident.

 

[Worndown]

A good note explaining your suffering and choice will help put it in perspective.
I know several people who took their life. It took a long time to get the back story of their suffering. It would have been nice to know sooner. Survivors need perspective.

 

[rozeske]

It's not unusual. In a world where suicide is a very tabu subject there are many who wish to make it look like an accident or something. If your intention is protecting your loved ones I won't recommended making it look like a homicide. It will of course be eventually ruled out as suicide but you could put your loved ones in unnecessary trouble in the meantime.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't believe it's unusual, but anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you find freedom from your suffering, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it must be tiring what you go through.

 

[PromisedLand]

Aside from responding to my question, you all have no idea how much I appreciate your genuinely kind and compassionate comments just from a "feeling understood and cared about" perspective.

I think the suicide rate in the world would be much lower if more people displayed the empathy that people here do. It really is quite ironic.

 

[sash]

I understand your not wanting to be found. I am the same. Finding somewhere though is hard.
The 'accidental' dabbling with drugs od might work. Maybe do a party drug + something else 'laced' with it you 'didnt know about' then ppl will think u wanted a good time.
Maybe set the room as a personal party, good music, munchies. They'll think you went out having a good time

I wish you peace.

 

[PromisedLand]

They all know that I have never done drugs, and probably never would. I don't even drink alcohol!

 

[sukiduki]

They all know that I have never done drugs, and probably never would. I don't even drink alcohol!

people change! i used to be very straight-edged until my mid-20s. people who knew me ten years ago would not believe in the things i engage in or have done now. always possible to switch up!

 

[lnlybnny]

i hate the idea of people finding out i ctb'd, it feels like they'll think they won and that i was a coward but oh well i can't control other people's thoughts and can't base my intentions and actions upon this