Venting Not sure what to do with my life

[subhuman metalhead]

I'm currently in the process of withdrawing from all of my college classes (essentially dropping out) after having a long conversation with my best friend about what I wanted to do with my life. One of the reasons I went into psychology as a major was because I was forced into going to college and had to choose something that I found interesting. Unfortunately, psychology isn't something I'm passionate about, art is, but I was pressured out of going to art school because my parents wanted me to "Get a real job". I also unconsciously wanted to fix myself by going into psychology because I thought I could better understand my problems.

My dad isn't supportive of my decision for what I want in life and I completely cut my mom out of my life because she abused me growing up so she has no idea. The rest of my family doesn't know either and quite frankly, I don't want them to know because I don't care about them as heartless as that sounds.

I always wanted to pursue art as a career but the problem is that my art is complete and utter garbage and I have zero confidence in it at all, but I love to draw and it's what makes me happy. So I just don't know what to do with my life anymore. If I should just CTB or continue with living because my situation is so terrible.

I had to get this out there, I'm sorry.

 

[GreenMarsh]

I'm currently in the process of withdrawing from all of my college classes (essentially dropping out) after having a long conversation with my best friend about what I wanted to do with my life. One of the reasons I went into psychology as a major was because I was forced into going to college and had to choose something that I found interesting. Unfortunately, psychology isn't something I'm passionate about, art is, but I was pressured out of going to art school because my parents wanted me to "Get a real job". I also unconsciously wanted to fix myself by going into psychology because I thought I could better understand my problems.

My dad isn't supportive of my decision for what I want in life and I completely cut my mom out of my life because she abused me growing up so she has no idea. The rest of my family doesn't know either and quite frankly, I don't want them to know because I don't care about them as heartless as that sounds.

I always wanted to pursue art as a career but the problem is that my art is complete and utter garbage and I have zero confidence in it at all, but I love to draw and it's what makes me happy. So I just don't know what to do with my life anymore. If I should just CTB or continue with living because my situation is so terrible.

I had to get this out there, I'm sorry.

I have very little to go off of, so please excuse me if I come off as ignorant in this reply,

If I were in your shoes, with nothing else to lose, between chasing a dream -however fleeting- or dying, I might as well chase the dream. If all else fails, and I'm comfortable with dying, then so be it, but it would bother me somewhat that I could've chased the thing I was passionate about, but didn't. I guess the curiosity would always linger in the back of my mind, and I wouldn't wanna die with any regrets.

As for confidence, in many ways, knowing I'm going to die someday soon has filled me to the brim with confidence at times to make decisions (most of which were bad), but at least I made them of my own accord, and if they didn't work out, I can at least say I tried. I always try to remember that the most I could ever lose is my life, and that's the least valuable thing I own. Hopefully this can inspire you somewhat