kcalpuppy
derailed
- Feb 21, 2023
- 6
this is my first post so to start id just like to say hello and thanks for having me, ive needed somewhere like this.
so im transgender and experience daily, excruciating dysphoria (small part of why i wanna ctb to begin with.) im already on hormones and have been for years; sure, my voice is deep as fuck, and i don't really get misgendered much, but they only do so much. i still have to take my clothes off every night and feel like a fucking imposter. still have a dating pool consisting only of people who fetishize about the thing about me i hate the most (chasers.)
surgery is gatekept to the wealthy and those fortunate to have good enough insurance, and as a result, so is any kind of gender euphoria or basic belonging.
still, there's a part of me that fantasizes about going out with the correct gender on my ID, the right body being examined.
but it's pointless if im not gonna be here to live in that body, right?
it feels fucked either way and i feel like no matter what i do im just stuck feeling like a woman forever or however long that is.
so im transgender and experience daily, excruciating dysphoria (small part of why i wanna ctb to begin with.) im already on hormones and have been for years; sure, my voice is deep as fuck, and i don't really get misgendered much, but they only do so much. i still have to take my clothes off every night and feel like a fucking imposter. still have a dating pool consisting only of people who fetishize about the thing about me i hate the most (chasers.)
surgery is gatekept to the wealthy and those fortunate to have good enough insurance, and as a result, so is any kind of gender euphoria or basic belonging.
still, there's a part of me that fantasizes about going out with the correct gender on my ID, the right body being examined.
but it's pointless if im not gonna be here to live in that body, right?
it feels fucked either way and i feel like no matter what i do im just stuck feeling like a woman forever or however long that is.