2
26mmmm
Experienced
- Feb 12, 2024
- 207
Yeah. How else did it mess u up other than having no personality? Personally it just broke me in so many ways, physically too due to being sedentary for so long.No, you are completely right... Parents are suppose to be there for you from the moment you were born to the time you reach 18. If they can't do that, they shouldn't even have a child to begin with... Parenting is NOT just "oh let's socialize and monitor our kid until he reaches school age, then we can say fuck it and zone out". It's a subtle monitoring all the way through to 18. If you see rapid changes in behavior, isolation tendencies, socialization issues, addiction, you immediately step in *HARD* and fix that problem before it gets worse or even unrecoverable. That is literally their job, they are the grown ups!!
Much like you, I started isolating in my early teen years (I was around 11). My parents sat me in front of the TV, gave me PSP, bought me a PC with unrestricted internet access and guess what happened? I got VERY addicted (my fathers addiction genes probably didn't help here). In school my brains were fried from too much screen use and lack of sleep, so I couldn't really talk with anyone, because I was in my own world and totally disconnected. I tried forming connections, but I was just that weirdo kid that everyone ignored. The development of the "self" or any kind of proper mental functioning got completely halted...
Besides a few cord pulls and yelling, nothing concrete was ever really done, so I ended up figuring that nobody can or really wants to stop me. This just made me keep zoning out in school and plugging myself back into the online world the moment I got home. My social kick came out of Twitch streamers and Youtubers which was apparently enough for me...
Since I got that social interaction from the online world I fell down some pretty weird paths, ideologies, content creators and other stuff, which ended up with me attaching myself to antisocial loser streamers who were making clowns out of themselves for views. I was a young, stupid and impressionable kid, so I decided to mirror those personalities and adopt them in real life. That's how I went through my entire elementary and high school days. I genuinely thought that was the way to act...
It's fucking wild now that I think about it... I literally copied weirdo online people and applied their personalities to myself. Unsurprisingly that didn't mesh at all with normal folks, but since that was the only socialization that I had I didn't think much of it... My personality through out my growing up period moved according to what I watched online. I'm literally a definition of a hollow husk that got grown in a pod full of screens. A life completely wasted. Fuck this shit...