Venting Not feeling important to anyone

[gnarly]

I feel like such a side character most days. I'm never usually engaged in any conversation with people. But whenever I am it's usually to be yelled at or made fun of. Besides that life is awfully quiet. I sit around waiting for nothing. No friends or anything. I'm not important to anyone. I feel like a ghost in this world. Like I'm not supposed to exist in it. Like I'm supposed to be dead. I feel as if no one worries for me. Like I could disappear the next day and no one would even notice. To be forgotten in this world. It's hell.

 

[star_cell]

I am feeling so much like this lately. I don't know why I have to feel like such a waste of space. I hate the most that feeling that feels like being abandoned even by the last person you thought you could trust. Everyone always tells you they're there for you but when you speak up, it's either a problem or something unimportant to them right now. I just want to feel like someone wants me to be there. Talking and feeling. I've been getting straight up ignored after saying normal things so much lately, even by who i thought was my best friend. and I don't know how not to feel like a fucking loser bcuz of it.

 

[NeoN0va]

Same. I finally found someone who related to me this summer, but she started ghosting me and deleted all of her messages around mid september. She was supposed to be the one who would be on call with me when I would do my ctb, but seems like I'm not supposed to have anyone by my side after all. I was always the guy who was made fun of, but when everyone needed my help, I gave it to them because I was taught to do so by my parents. Now I understand how stupid that is, because in the end, I'm the one who needs help way more than them.