Venting Not even video games help me cope anymore

[Reflection]

I open up a game and feel exhausted, the thoughts just make me so uncomfortable that I cant really have fun or 'be in the zone' while playing video games anymore. I miss the idea of playing them, but it serves no purpose if I can't actually enjoy it. I was also looking forward for a show that got announced way back in 2018 and been waiting for it for years, yet now I don't care anymore, the only thing that remotely helps is listening to relatable music.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

Thanks for sharing. I feel this. Have you found anything that gives you joy, even a little?

I used to LOVE video games and watching sports and golfing. Yet now when I pick up a controller or a club or watch my favorite team, I get no joy. It's like I'm bored before it even starts. All I can think about is ending my life. I used to watch nfl football all Sunday and have so much fun even by myself. Now I can't get joy out of anything so I just do nothing. Just sit in bed and think about ctb methods and scroll this site. Occasionally sleep. Barely making it to work and doing the bare minimum to get by. My time is coming and I'm starting to accept it finally.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I pretty much feel this, or I will once I've finished playing Silent Hill 2 for the PS5. That's going to be a badass game.

 

[Mors.Mors.Mors]

I open up a game and feel exhausted, the thoughts just make me so uncomfortable that I cant really have fun or 'be in the zone' while playing video games anymore. I miss the idea of playing them, but it serves no purpose if I can't actually enjoy it. I was also looking forward for a show that got announced way back in 2018 and been waiting for it for years, yet now I don't care anymore, the only thing that remotely helps is listening to relatable music.

Yeah, I cannot even fully enjoy them since I'm always thinking I should do something else with my free time. Sad...

 

[Reflection]

Thanks for sharing. I feel this. Have you found anything that gives you joy, even a little?

I used to LOVE video games and watching sports and golfing. Yet now when I pick up a controller or a club or watch my favorite team, I get no joy. It's like I'm bored before it even starts. All I can think about is ending my life. I used to watch nfl football all Sunday and have so much fun even by myself. Now I can't get joy out of anything so I just do nothing. Just sit in bed and think about ctb methods and scroll this site. Occasionally sleep. Barely making it to work and doing the bare minimum to get by. My time is coming and I'm starting to accept it finally.

I dont think ive felt joy once since I became suicidal, there are of course things that I still "enjoy", but only in the sense that they help me cope and that's it.

The only things that give me some relief is either being hopeful that everything will change to the way it was before, or thinking about how commiting suicide will release me from the pain...in the meantime working towards accomplishing my former goals and dreams seems pointless and insurmountable, but I have to force myself to do it in case life gets better.

I pretty much feel this, or I will once I've finished playing Silent Hill 2 for the PS5. That's going to be a badass game.

I preordered it on pc a few weeks ago, the original was the only thing I turned to when my grief first started so it holds a special place in my heart...I just hope it affects me the same way, otherwise i might just feel overwhelmed by the pain and drop it.

 

[Sarros]

Lately, I take more enjoyment from the anticipation of the game other than the game itself.

 

[11_Foraskenchild_11]

Yeah…it sucks when what you used to cope doesn't work anymore.

 

[mercybell]

Used to play video games for hours on end, now I just sit on ledges for hours on end. Just watching the world underneath. Sometimes with music, sometimes without.

 

[let.me.let.go87]

I feel this so deep. I used to spend hours, even days on my ps3/ps4 playing video games… now I just yawn at the thought of playing a game. I just lay here in self loathing. Tired all the time. Rarely, very rarely I can escape in a book. Like once every few months. Maybe three times a year. But that's my biggest escape from depression. I do miss gaming. I still own my ps5. But I no longer have the love.

 

[Thisisme373]

I don't even play my games anymore, I have no energy for it, it feels pointless and uninteresting, everything's grey, depression and anxiety is horrible, takes away what you loved and enjoyed & turns it into a chore

 

[pariah80]

I'm done coping. I've made up my mind to go through with it.

 

[asa]

We're in the same boat. Video games worked as a distraction for me for a long time until they didn't. It feels weird when you run out of all your coping mechanisms