Venting nobody gives a shit

[thegreatminderaser]

howdy. things keep feeling worse. i started reaching out to friends and my mom saying i'm not well- nobody really seems to understand or give a shit. my boyfriend is the only one who understands and is taking care of me, which i feel immense guilt because he's not well either and i'm unable to help him.

2 years ago i made an "attempt" (non-method, would've just made me very sick) after being shared some heavily traumatic information and generally just being incredibly unstable. he knew i wasn't doing well and i had to tell him where i was lest police get involved. i appreciate his care, though comparing him to everyone else makes me feel so lonely. i don't to burden him while i wait to get paid so i can talk with my therapist, but my other support structures just aren't there.

i told my mom i'm unwell over text and she probably didn't read it because she's talking about other things & sending me her art, my best friend acknowledged me saying that the reason i disappeared for a few days was because i'm so miserable but nothing further. i know they love me but it feels like they refuse to see me struggling. if i have the energy i'm probably going to soak in the tub and cut myself before bed.

i feel like this might be my fault for not being open about just How Bad it is, but if they don't care when i try to tell them then why should i try

sorry if this post reads like shit, i'm unstable, stupid & bad at english despite it being my first and only language

 

[whywere]

You are NEVER EVER AND I MEAN NEVER EVER, stupid bad or anything negative, NEVER!

May I ask, do you go to a menal health clinic now? If not, look one up if you can and get help.

Reading your post made me cry, sorry I am a VERY emotional person, and your story was a gut punch to me.

If your mom does not either want to understand and/or help, PLEASE try and find a mental health resource, as you ARE way too valuable of a person to me.

I never tried injuring myself, and I hope and pray that you do not either.

I am older with 24/7 horrible chronic pain, BUT it is this site and folks like YOU, here that help with the damn pain.

You are NEVER EVER alone, NEVER and I wish you a fantastic sleep and always, or I try to be around.

LOVE AND HUGS TO YOU!!!

Walter

 

[fedup1982]

Yeh unfortunately there are so few answers for people like us. The best anyone can really do is say "we love you, go and see a psychiatrist".

It's shit. It's unbearable. It's ridiculous. A joke.

Now I'm just depressing myself so sorry, I cant be helping you either. What I'm trying to say is don't let what people aren't saying be a sign they dont care or anything like that. You are clearly loved. You can still get some sort of comfort from being around friends and family. It's just that there are very few answers anyone can give.

I hope you get to talk to your therapist soon

 

[thegreatminderaser]

Yeh unfortunately there are so few answers for people like us. The best anyone can really do is say "we love you, go and see a psychiatrist".

It's shit. It's unbearable. It's ridiculous. A joke.

Now I'm just depressing myself so sorry, I cant be helping you either. What I'm trying to say is don't let what people aren't saying be a sign they dont care or anything like that. You are clearly loved. You can still get some sort of comfort from being around friends and family. It's just that there are very few answers anyone can give.

I hope you get to talk to your therapist soon

i know i'm loved in some ways, i just feel unheard. my mom & friend struggle in similar ways and are usually good at asking questions and being supportive, i just feel the absence of it heavily. it hurts that they aren't offering support when i say i'm hurting.

 

[whosready4tmrw]

Yeh unfortunately there are so few answers for people like us. The best anyone can really do is say "we love you, go and see a psychiatrist".

It's shit. It's unbearable. It's ridiculous. A joke.

Now I'm just depressing myself so sorry, I cant be helping you either. What I'm trying to say is don't let what people aren't saying be a sign they dont care or anything like that. You are clearly loved. You can still get some sort of comfort from being around friends and family. It's just that there are very few answers anyone can give.

I hope you get to talk to your therapist soon

This is so real. What we deal with is almost incomprehensible to most people. And while your boyfriend seems like a saying (hold onto if he takes care of you, you need it), there arent many like him. Thats why we have places like these, because normal people dont understand what we go through.

i know i'm loved in some ways, i just feel unheard. my mom & friend struggle in similar ways and are usually good at asking questions and being supportive, i just feel the absence of it heavily. it hurts that they aren't offering support when i say i'm hurting.

It can be easy to criticize what other people do or fail to do when youre struggling, but dont hold it against your family. If you know they love you, thats enough, it doesnt have to be withing their ability to fix you. Different people in your life serve different purposes.

 

[fedup1982]

i know i'm loved in some ways, i just feel unheard. my mom & friend struggle in similar ways and are usually good at asking questions and being supportive, i just feel the absence of it heavily. it hurts that they aren't offering support when i say i'm hurting.

Yeah i get the same from my family. I'll phone my dad, tell him how bad I'm feeling, and he'll say "I'm so sorry" but then that's it and the phonecall is just silence from there