Venting nobody cares for me

[EUTHAN51A]

im so alone i hate this i hate barely talking to anyone wether its online or irl i wonder if anyone would care if i died. if theres any sadness any grief anything because of my death. i wonder if me dying would just be another burden off their shoulders or some its like nobody genuinely gives a shit for me. everyone always leaves. i like someone we date they leave or just anyone who i genuinely enjoy being with they always leave! i want to die so bad but im so scared of doing it. cutting does nothing now i barely can feel the pain its just annoying red lines on my thighs haunting me and telling me i should go deeper, i want to feel something i feel so numb or the time! i wished someon cared for me,loved me even. even if someone tells me they love me even if its fake i'll be grateful im just so desperate for someone else to fucking love me. am i just so unloveable? so hiseous? a mess? Do i just deserve to die? just what is worth leaving for? i try and work hard on my studies but i always do shit. i always end up messing up relationship and they leave. i always fuck up in the end i wish i was gone

 

[MissionSucksAssFul]

hard relate... I remember thinking like this way back when I still tried to find love and I think that's what might've saved me from a lot of suffering: stopping trying and accepting misery...

 

[aubrey!]

i've always experimented with the idea of would anyone care if i died. abandon my account(s) for a few days and see if anyone notices. No one ever does!

try to make friends but everyone talks to me once. they all leave!

You start to get the impression no one cares.

I don't have much to say. just similar feelings. just the same cycle of people coming and going and the feelings of loneliness stacking atop each other as each person passes by.

 

[EUTHAN51A]

i've always experimented with the idea of would anyone care if i died. abandon my account(s) for a few days and see if anyone notices. No one ever does!

try to make friends but everyone talks to me once. they all leave!

You start to get the impression no one cares.

I don't have much to say. just similar feelings. just the same cycle of people coming and going and the feelings of loneliness stacking atop each other as each person passes by.

i tried to abandon my accounts time to time but i just cant last a day, im so addicted to social media its like i cant live without it and desperately wanting someone to just care about me lol

this is very off topic but is 'internet angel' a reference to needy girl overdose? i love that game! i'm referencing the game in virtual angel

 

[hopeless302]

im so alone i hate this i hate barely talking to anyone wether its online or irl i wonder if anyone would care if i died. if theres any sadness any grief anything because of my death. i wonder if me dying would just be another burden off their shoulders or some its like nobody genuinely gives a shit for me. everyone always leaves. i like someone we date they leave or just anyone who i genuinely enjoy being with they always leave! i want to die so bad but im so scared of doing it. cutting does nothing now i barely can feel the pain its just annoying red lines on my thighs haunting me and telling me i should go deeper, i want to feel something i feel so numb or the time! i wished someon cared for me,loved me even. even if someone tells me they love me even if its fake i'll be grateful im just so desperate for someone else to fucking love me. am i just so unloveable? so hiseous? a mess? Do i just deserve to die? just what is worth leaving for? i try and work hard on my studies but i always do shit. i always end up messing up relationship and they leave. i always fuck up in the end i wish i was gone

hey, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure people will care if something happened to you, and if not, you can always find some people who do. It's probably not even your fault. From your post, it seems like you're a student and from first hand experience, I can tell you that a lot of relationships at this age are fleeting. It's hard. It sucks. But I hope you keep searching for the ones who will stick by you through the years. I'm sure you will find them.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

i've always experimented with the idea of would anyone care if i died. abandon my account(s) for a few days and see if anyone notices. No one ever does!

try to make friends but everyone talks to me once. they all leave!

You start to get the impression no one cares.

I don't have much to say. just similar feelings. just the same cycle of people coming and going and the feelings of loneliness stacking atop each other as each person passes by.

^^^^^

Pretty much the same story here, I just sit around doing nothing. This forum is a gift though, I can talk to people on here!

I hope things get better for you, this life can certainly get lonely - it's just a matter of how you cope with it. Most of my friends have started disliking me as I've said I wanted to CTB more and more as time passes and challenged the "things get better!" mentality.

I wish you the best and maybe you can find some friends here.

 

[EUTHAN51A]

^^^^^

Pretty much the same story here, I just sit around doing nothing. This forum is a gift though, I can talk to people on here!

I hope things get better for you, this life can certainly get lonely - it's just a matter of how you cope with it. Most of my friends have started disliking me as I've said I wanted to CTB more and more as time passes and challenged the "things get better!" mentality.

I wish you the best and maybe you can find some friends here.

thank you so much… my friends also leave when i start expressing more about how im so miserable and stuff LOL i got super depressed after getting groomed once and i remember most of my friends just switching up on me because i kept talking ab my groomer

 

[aubrey!]

i tried to abandon my accounts time to time but i just cant last a day, im so addicted to social media its like i cant live without it and desperately wanting someone to just care about me lol

this is very off topic but is 'internet angel' a reference to needy girl overdose? i love that game! i'm referencing the game in virtual angel

I have multiple accounts, many different sites. I mainly use twitter, but just for a few days i can make new twitter account work, or focus on instagram, or try my best to live it up on discord (discord sucks as an only thing, lol, no one dms me and i dont join servers unless im explicitly invited and i dont like talking unless i'm invited to)

And yes, I also noticed your icon looks to be suigintou? Rozen maiden was really good - even if i was praying for hinaichigo's downfall most the show.

 

[EUTHAN51A]

I have multiple accounts, many different sites. I mainly use twitter, but just for a few days i can make new twitter account work, or focus on instagram, or try my best to live it up on discord (discord sucks as an only thing, lol, no one dms me and i dont join servers unless im explicitly invited and i dont like talking unless i'm invited to)

And yes, I also noticed your icon looks to be suigintou? Rozen maiden was really good - even if i was praying for hinaichigo's downfall most the show.

i also use twitter often! discord sucks i also have trouble trying to find people to talk to.. back in 2019 i was super active but after some stuff i just found it hard to find friends so i just talk about my thoughts on twitter..

HAHA i actually had no idea who my icon was,i just found her super pretty and made her my pfp.. is the anime worth watching?

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

thank you so much… my friends also leave when i start expressing more about how im so miserable and stuff LOL i got super depressed after getting groomed once and i remember most of my friends just switching up on me because i kept talking ab my groomer

Yeah it's really unfortunate, I've just learnt to internalize my trauma or post it online. Venting into an endless abyss or to a crowd of people like this forum is a way healthier option I've found. I just learn and joke about it, try not to express too much although I still make plenty of jokes about killing myself.

I've gotten called annoying, an asshole, a psychopath and probably everything in between behind closed doors. It's certainly a hard truth nobody tells you about and you only learn when you're in the dirt.

i also use twitter often! discord sucks i also have trouble trying to find people to talk to.. back in 2019 i was super active but after some stuff i just found it hard to find friends so i just talk about my thoughts on twitter..

HAHA i actually had no idea who my icon was,i just found her super pretty and made her my pfp.. is the anime worth watching?

There's a few SS discords on here if you'd want to give discord a second chance, I don't really use social media myself. I deleted them a while back due to my paranoia someone was stalking me.

 

[EUTHAN51A]

Yeah it's really unfortunate, I've just learnt to internalize my trauma or post it online. Venting into an endless abyss or to a crowd of people like this forum is a way healthier option I've found. I just learn and joke about it, try not to express too much although I still make plenty of jokes about killing myself.

I've gotten called annoying, an asshole, a psychopath and probably everything in between behind closed doors. It's certainly a hard truth nobody tells you about and you only learn when you're in the dirt.

people only care when you're the 'funny mentally unwell' friend.. if you show you're genuinely struggling they leave. i wish happy things happen to you

 

[aubrey!]

i also use twitter often! discord sucks i also have trouble trying to find people to talk to.. back in 2019 i was super active but after some stuff i just found it hard to find friends so i just talk about my thoughts on twitter..

HAHA i actually had no idea who my icon was,i just found her super pretty and made her my pfp.. is the anime worth watching?

twitter is essentially my home. discord is easy to manage because i can always have it open for when that sweet one or two messages a day comes in, lol.

and hey, i found the show the same way. suigintou's character design is sooo good. i set a lot of icons of girls i dont know. I really enjoyed the show, but it's also really annoying (just hinaichigo specifically). Do note the reboot in 2013 isn't really standalone, you kind of need to watch the original series to understand and they are different stories. i forget the exact names of each show and season, but the watch order is essentially in the order released. google will probably tell you, too.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

people only care when you're the 'funny mentally unwell' friend.. if you show you're genuinely struggling they leave. i wish happy things happen to you

100%, I've just learnt to say my thoughts as jokes. Sometimes I go all out and lose that facade accidentally, like my friend jokingly saying "I'll come over and get yo ass" and I say something along the lines of I'll make it easy for you with some suggestions for planning out my murder.

twitter is essentially my home. discord is easy to manage because i can always have it open for when that sweet one or two messages a day comes in, lol.

and hey, i found the show the same way. suigintou's character design is sooo good. i set a lot of icons of girls i dont know. I really enjoyed the show, but it's also really annoying (just hinaichigo specifically). Do note the reboot in 2013 isn't really standalone, you kind of need to watch the original series to understand and they are different stories. i forget the exact names of each show and season, but the watch order is essentially in the order released. google will probably tell you, too.

I gotta add it to my watchlist seems interesting, got me hooked what was the name again?

 

[aubrey!]

I gotta add it to my watchlist seems interesting, got me hooked what was the name again?

I decided to check and it goes as following:

Rozen Maiden
Rozen Maiden Träumend
Rozen Maiden Ouvertüre (optional - cute but i remember it not really making sense in the grand scheme of the story)
Rozen Maiden Zurückspulen. (the reboot, really good artistically and a great story. the story could be indepedent, but i much recommend the original series for best understanding)

 

[EUTHAN51A]

I decided to check and it goes as following:

Rozen Maiden
Rozen Maiden Träumend
Rozen Maiden Ouvertüre (optional - cute but i remember it not really making sense in the grand scheme of the story)
Rozen Maiden Zurückspulen. (the reboot, really good artistically and a great story. the story could be indepedent, but i much recommend the original series for best understanding)

thank you so much! i'll definitely check out the series during the holidays.. school is really weighing me down lol and i want to try and have an academic comeback this year!!Or something like that

 

[aubrey!]

thank you so much! i'll definitely check out the series during the holidays.. school is really weighing me down lol and i want to try and have an academic comeback this year!!Or something like that

School has been eating me alive. I just hope I can graduate or I really am done for. I'm 150% not going to college though - i'm so dreaded of all the college talk that goes on around me. Thankfully, i just got the week off. now i have time to really realise just how little people care, lol.

Also -- thanks for following

 

[ptolemaea]

i understand how you feel. i only have a few friends on the internet, and i'm not particularly close with my family. it's terrible to be so alone. how can you find any justification to stay when you know that no one would notice your absence? i've also been self harming. it's so difficult to stop. you should be proud you've been able to continue your education, though. i left school due to my depression. the expectation is that i'll eventually return and go to university, but i doubt it will ever happen. very sorry you're experiencing so much pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

The unfortunate reality is that in this cruel world you just cannot trust and rely on people. The majority of humans only care about what directly affects themselves, as humans we are certainly all alone.