Venting No motivation for anything

[CompressedAtoms]

I just don't feel anything when I write anymore, and it's horrible. I quit drawing a while ago so writing was my creative outlet. Fanfics were such a good way to disappear even for a little while with added dopamine boosts from comments/engagement but I can't get that anymore if I don't finish fucking anything.

I'm not the person to game for hours but I literally have been as an escape, Life is strange 1 and 2 saved me for a little while unironically but it's all gone now.

I don't feel motivation to talk to people either, I'm just drained all the time and I can't get help or anything in my situation. I would be a horrible person to talk to at the moment but I need someone to lean on more than anything.

I don't even have the motivation to continue ranting in this post. Can't CBT or anything since I don't have any methods to my disposal besides ODing, but I don't wanna take the risk since while I do have a prescription medication from my mother, I can't find any history on it.

 

[iwanttobedead]

hard relate. barely get out of bed these days, this nightmare of a body can't produce a single molecule of dopamine to save its life

 

[eeah]

real. i have so much shit i need to do. every time i think about how little ive gotten done in months and how far behind i am, i wanna die. i just cant make myself care to do it even though i know i need to