Venting No money / housing crisis (venting)

[GreyCTB]

I'm stuck in a living situation that's extremely toxic and the only way I could escape is if I had enough money to move out. But due to the housing crisis in my country it would require me to save for 2 years (I calculated) just before I can barely afford the cheapest option. It wouldn't even be good but at this point I'd take anything over this. It's like I'm reliving the same day over and over again and suffering through the same psychological torture every day and there is not a single way out. I'm doing everything I can but it's still not enough. I feel so horrible I'm probably gonna CTB rather than keep suffering through this bullshit for years.

The worst thing about it is that nobody even understands or cares at all. You could be going through hell psychologically and nobody would care because they don't have the ability to imagine the pain, but if you get physically abused a lot more people would care and help you out just because they have some sort of reference to what that feels like. And then when you finally CTB they still don't make the connection that you might have been tormented mentally beyond what any human being is able to bear. All of that makes me feel like it's me against the world and I hate it so much.

Sorry for bothering you all with this but I really needed to vent. If I can't move out soon I will CTB and I hate that nobody understands that

 

[Zegers]

I feel a bit better at night, in the morning when i go out i feel very disconnected, I'm like a hermit at this point and i don't see the point of anything either.

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound really torturous what you have to endure, to me existence truly is so dreadful but anyway best wishes, sadly I think that most people won't even try to understand.

 

[anhed0nia]

Even well-meaning people are very prone to denial, unless you've been physically abused or have a visible illness, as you suggested. I feel like I've been very explicit and vocal with people about my mental and emotional problems for many years (maybe always), and I still hear even close friends say they didn't know I was depressed, or they insist that I'm exaggerating for attention, or worst of all they think I'm trying to be funny. (?!) Most people just don't have the imagination or the emotional vocabulary that it takes to relate to extreme experiences. I'm sorry for what you're going through, I hope you find a good solution.

 

[drownll]

Bro i totally relate i'm pretty much in the exact same situation.
I used to live alone but then i had no money and almost became homeless, so i had to go back to my shitty guetto hometown in my mums shitty appartement living with my crazy toxic sisters. 0 money, no friends, not even a room, nothing going on for me.
And like you, i calculated that i will have to work 2 years to finally afford comfort.
Personally I'm planning on going to the military. The greatest advantage is that you don't have to pay for food and you are housed. So you don't pay rent + you get to leave your toxic environment. It can be tough but imo i think it will not be worse than the situation you or I are currently in.