Venting "No matter what I do, I just can't seem to die" — Jinx

[Cypress]

I feel this so deeply, and I'm freaking frustrated. I've prepared everything, scheduled emails to my friends, and I was supposed to CTB LAST NIGHT, but I'm still here, as you can see. :( I tried night night, partial, tourniquet, and combinations of them. All I end up with are bruises and worries that I might have brain damage. How am I supposed to live past today now? I just can't.

I'm so tired.

 

[needthebus]

sorry things have been so hard

 

[FuneralCry]

I also feel so tired of suffering in this existence, I wish there's the option to just simply cease existing in peace in an guaranteed way and never suffer ever again, I'll always see so much cruelty in how I cannot just have that. It's so horrific to me how trying to die can go wrong and lead to way worse suffering, I certainly understand that it's so dreadful and tiring suffering feeling trapped in this existence, I hope you find peace.

 

[ctb_warrior]

I have had similar fate. I landed up in ICU twice. Recently tried partial hanging but failed at it.