No Energy to go on

[p24601]

I'm Sorry,

I no longer have the energy to continue, I have lost everything that is dear to me due to lies of others.

I'm now a shell of what I was. I spend all day in bed only getting out for smoking in the back yard and go to sleep every night praying I won't wake up in the morning.

Those close to me no longer want to see me and believe the lies despite seeing evidence to prove otherwise.

I'm sorry I'm just rambling, I know I'm new here and this is my first post, please just ignore me I won't be around long anyway

 

[Deo volente]

In the end, the desolation you describe is our only sure companion. Your desire for relief from its company is understandable. There are none like the abandoned who know the abject degradation it lays upon us. So if it is your surrender you are apologizing for, there is nothing to be sorry about.

Still, you may find that if you ever find your exit, and you find yourself pressed against the threshold of death, there are whole possibilities of renewal in living on, when you can lean on the cold dark expanse of your eternal relief.

 

[p24601]

My exit should arrive in the next day or two, It's strange before the lies I led a good life, I was always their for those who needed help, I would always put my families needs before my own and I would always help those less fortunate. Even my job revolved around helping, but now I need help only 2 people have stepped up.

I know when I go it will upset my true friends but it's become clear that to those who matter the most to me no longer want me around so the way I see it I will only be completing a habit of a life time and giving those I love what they want.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is such a cruel existence that brings people to this point and I do understand that it's hard to carry on existing when you feel so tired of everything. That does sound like an awful situation to be in, it's terrible how people can cause so much harm through their actions. But I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.