Hi I just wonder if anybody relates.
I don't mind New Year per se. I got slightly older? Whatever. I achieved exactly 0 goals? Whatever. What I'm scared of is new trauma. You see every year of my life I got new trauma. I haven't had a year so far in my life without anything traumatic happening to me. Sometimes 2 traumas per year but one on average.
My years follow 1 pattern: start of the new year, a few cool weeks, then BAAAM, then trying to get over the trauma, end of the year.
When I'm done processing one trauma, next trauma appears. Yaay...
Last few weeks were actually not too bad (by my standards, non suicidal people wouldn't trade places with me). I'm scared it's over in a few hours and I'll have to face a new trauma... I live in fear of life. Anybody relates?
I don't mind New Year per se. I got slightly older? Whatever. I achieved exactly 0 goals? Whatever. What I'm scared of is new trauma. You see every year of my life I got new trauma. I haven't had a year so far in my life without anything traumatic happening to me. Sometimes 2 traumas per year but one on average.
My years follow 1 pattern: start of the new year, a few cool weeks, then BAAAM, then trying to get over the trauma, end of the year.
When I'm done processing one trauma, next trauma appears. Yaay...
Last few weeks were actually not too bad (by my standards, non suicidal people wouldn't trade places with me). I'm scared it's over in a few hours and I'll have to face a new trauma... I live in fear of life. Anybody relates?
