NEVER tell anyone you are suicidal. You will be locked away and watched CONSTANTLY.

[MyTimeIsUp]

I don't know how you are keeping your sanity in there and I am so sorry you are going through this hell. I would lose my mind if I had people watching me 24/7 and have no privacy in a shower or at the toilet. And I absolutely would totally lose my mind with the noise and loud music. How do they expect anyone to heal in that environment? Actually, I will answer my own question: they likely don't give a damn if anyone heals. What a horrific place.

I imagine some staff takes that job just to abuse other people. There are some people who really get off on being abusive. (I'm sure there are good staff members, too - not saying they are all bad.) As you said, who are they going to believe, you or the staff member? I am in a support group for survivors of sexual abuse and have heard stories from other survivors who were raped in a ward, and of course no one believed them... until one of them turned up pregnant. Anyhow, I'm truly sorry you have been stuck in this place.

No, never.... never will I tell anyone. Ever. I'd rather die than be locked in a ward here. And there is a stigma, you know. Once the system has a person labeled as suicidal, then they are "crazy", and that reputation will follow a person through every single bit of medical "care" for the rest of their lives. I have never been to jail or prison and don't want to go, but I suspect being released from a psych unit would be a lot like being on parole... someone always trying to sniff up your butt to make sure you are "complying" with whatever the system says you have to.

I'm glad you've learned to pretend enough to get the hell out of there soon. And no matter what road you choose once you are out, I really hope you can find peace.

I have some privacy but I have to make a noise every 2 mins or so, if I don't, they will come in. There isn't a door, it's made of fabric and magnetic. Now I'm on further away suicide watch, so that's good, because they all believe me I'm fine now LOL.

It has followed me through my life, because of a label. I've had it with GPs and all medical professionals. I'm on section 2, which is for assessment, not treatment as you can't treat trauma with pills and docs know that so they aren't giving me meds. I'm pretending to be calm but inside I'm screaming, because I hate it here

Pretending has got me through life, so I'm good at it, it's just I told someone I thought I could trust, and she betrayed me (a professional- not mental health) so she can fuck off now. A friend of mine has accepted my suicide, and we've said goodbye and she will play songs for me when I'm gone

I'll be gone the first opportunity I get.

Can't believe they expect you to not want to die when watched 24/7

 

[sevennn]

what an idiotic treatment. if you explained it to someone who's never heard it they would say it's the most idiotic thing they ever heard. feel suicidal? sit in sensory deprivation, alone, get plucked out from support system. be watched. no coping mechanisms. detention. punishment for feelings. feelings = normal. goes against human nature. human nature = bond, socialise. what an idiotic treatment. somethign born out of disgusting western culture. individualistic and non human. sterile. sorry for your suffering. it's beyond stupid system. psychiatry the most idiotic discipline in the world. lobotomy, electric shock, conversion therapy, disabling meds, they can never get it right. and never will

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

They will talk you into electroshock therapy which will make you temporarily feel better but can wipe out a lot of your memories of your life

Omg they still do this shit in 2024??
This society is disgusting. Sorry you are having to deal with this bs now OP.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

I want to reiterate to EVERYONE that not everyone gets a small amount of privacy. Some patients have two people DIRECTLY next to them while shitting, pissing, sleeping, anything.

Don't try anything on the wards, PLEASE wait until you're released, because staff will come running in and you're fucked. They could put you on a section 3 and you'll be in hospital up to 6 months, and could be longer. Please, please don't, because you don't know when they will check on you, even 4 hourly checks could be one every 2 mins, 10, 30 secs etc, they won't tell you, because they will know you're timing.

I've asked questions to check, but not obviously. You also don't want to be forcibly medicated and restrained, trust me. I haven't because no one knows. I tried once and they didn't know, staff asked to see me and I quickly took the thing off, but I'm not allowed to hide with strings. Be CAREFUL

 

[Trakehner]

I unfortunately had to learn this the hard way. It's like being in prison. No therapy was even offered and we just sat in a room all day with not much to do. On top of that, it can be very expensive in the US so I had to pay to be treated like a criminal. I still occasionally have nightmares about my experiences in hospitals. Going forward, I'll pretend that all is well until it's my time to go which will hopefully be sometime in spring next year.

 

[sevennn]

I unfortunately had to learn this the hard way. It's like being in prison. No therapy was even offered and we just sat in a room all day with not much to do. On top of that, it can be very expensive in the US so I had to pay to be treated like a criminal. I still occasionally have nightmares about my experiences in hospitals. Going forward, I'll pretend that all is well until it's my time to go which will hopefully be sometime in spring next year.

horrendous. most idiotic treatment anyone could think of

 

[divinemistress36]

Omg they still do this shit in 2024??
This society is disgusting. Sorry you are having to deal with this bs now OP.

Yep and they told me it would just be tempoary memory loss

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Yep and they told me it would just be tempoary memory loss

Defo not. They are shocking your brain. They are fucking lying cunts. I'm so sorry you went through this

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

UPDATE: I'm OFF suicide watch! Now it's only 4 hourly checks (random), just to make sure I'm alive. I have 100% privacy and can do as I please around the ward. Not allowed my drawstring hoodies etc by myself. Have to ask for chargers etc.

Later I will do a post with a list of things you can/can't take into hospital with you (what they will remove) And what the process of sectioning etc, to help others. I want my experience to help you guys, too, so at least someone gets something out of it

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

I don't know how you are keeping your sanity in there and I am so sorry you are going through this hell. I would lose my mind if I had people watching me 24/7 and have no privacy in a shower or at the toilet. And I absolutely would totally lose my mind with the noise and loud music. How do they expect anyone to heal in that environment? Actually, I will answer my own question: they likely don't give a damn if anyone heals. What a horrific place.

I imagine some staff takes that job just to abuse other people. There are some people who really get off on being abusive. (I'm sure there are good staff members, too - not saying they are all bad.) As you said, who are they going to believe, you or the staff member? I am in a support group for survivors of sexual abuse and have heard stories from other survivors who were raped in a ward, and of course no one believed them... until one of them turned up pregnant. Anyhow, I'm truly sorry you have been stuck in this place.

No, never.... never will I tell anyone. Ever. I'd rather die than be locked in a ward here. And there is a stigma, you know. Once the system has a person labeled as suicidal, then they are "crazy", and that reputation will follow a person through every single bit of medical "care" for the rest of their lives. I have never been to jail or prison and don't want to go, but I suspect being released from a psych unit would be a lot like being on parole... someone always trying to sniff up your butt to make sure you are "complying" with whatever the system says you have to.

I'm glad you've learned to pretend enough to get the hell out of there soon. And no matter what road you choose once you are out, I really hope you can find peace.

Honestly I don't know. We cannot show any emotion, especially not frustration, which is perfectly natural given the circumstances. or we will be deemed as insane.

Other patients and members of staff have off loaded their problems onto me. I don't tell anyone anything.

Luckily, I have wireless headphones now so I can focus on my music. The patients have loud music on all the time and staff don't care. Even if it's 7am or 11pm.

I believe them. I can see how it happens, because who will believe someone deemed as 'mentally ill'. The doctors have already twisted what I said, so now I'm deemed as crazier than I was. I am fucking fuming, but I have to keep it all in, as I always have.

I'm starting to say goodbye to friends. One knows, one doesn't. I'll get my will sorted when I'm out (no assets - it's more my wishes).

I am now allowed to leave the ward with staff. Been easy to mask, but I've done it in my entire life.

I'm sick of the toxic positivity here. My mood isn't the issue. I'm not depressed or anything.

Yep, that label has followed me throughout my life. It has fucked me. I am going to come out of this more traumatised than when I came in.

Doctors have already forced me to tell them some trauma.. and now I'm reliving it. The nurse said they probably do it, so you deal with it. Lmao what, in 3 weeks? Lmfao. Well, that's possible (not) and FUCKING CRUEL. BASTARDS. It is cruel. Oh well. Pretend.

I'm going to see a friend when I'm out, then I'll be at peace

 

[Surai]

Yup and it makes me even more depressed knowing that reaching for help can somehow make it worse for myself

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Yup and it makes me even more depressed knowing that reaching for help can somehow make it worse for myself

Awful, isn't it? The system is totally fucked.

In some countries section doesn't exist. I wish I lived there

Serial killers have more rights (I am deadly serious) and this is the lowest level.

Never think hospital will help. Voluntary isn't voluntary which is why I refused, because I know that.

 

[killorbekilled]

They will talk you into electroshock therapy which will make you temporarily feel better but can wipe out a lot of your memories of your life

Read More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera. Pretty close to what happens with electroshock therapy.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

Nooo my parents found out I am suicidal and called my psychiatrist, told her everything and got me an emergency appointment with her tomorrow

I am afraid she will dismiss my feelings and I wanted to tell her of my plans of exiting to make her take me seriously, but after reading this thread I should probably keep it to "ideation".

 

[sweetcreep]

i've been hospitalized for a very short time once before, not too long ago. and i was watched for a while when i was a teenager. i recently had someone cut all ties with me because they found out about my plans and couldn't do anything to change my mind. they were very special to me and i had a lot of love for them, it broke me even further when they left me, but it's their right. i couldn't ask them to stay with me until i died just so i wouldn't feel lonely. it would have been very selfish of me. since then, i just don't try to open up to anyone about how i'm really feeling. i know no one really wants to help, nor could they. if i told anyone, they would just leave me or call me crazy and try to lock me up. yeah, better to keep those plans private no matter how much it eats away at you inside. i'm sorry about this horrible experience you're going through, i hope they let you out soon.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Nooo my parents found out I am suicidal and called my psychiatrist, told her everything and got me an emergency appointment with her tomorrow

I am afraid she will dismiss my feelings and I wanted to tell her of my plans of exiting to make her take me seriously, but after reading this thread I should probably keep it to "ideation".

Do NOT tell her. It would be the most stupidest thing you'll ever do. Plans = want to die. No, you will fuck yourself over. Say you don't want to die, it's merely a thought, you have no plans etc. Lie your way out of it

i've been hospitalized for a very short time once before, not too long ago. and i was watched for a while when i was a teenager. i recently had someone cut all ties with me because they found out about my plans and couldn't do anything to change my mind. they were very special to me and i had a lot of love for them, it broke me even further when they left me, but it's their right. i couldn't ask them to stay with me until i died just so i wouldn't feel lonely. it would have been very selfish of me. since then, i just don't try to open up to anyone about how i'm really feeling. i know no one really wants to help, nor could they. if i told anyone, they would just leave me or call me crazy and try to lock me up. yeah, better to keep those plans private no matter how much it eats away at you inside. i'm sorry about this horrible experience you're going through, i hope they let you out soon.

One of my friends have accepted it. But, things are now changing as I can go home once my stay here is over, so I'm happy now. I'm happy and settled there, I just had to leave because of an abuser.

I agree with you. No one wants to help, expect friends that *really* give a shit. Not everyone understands though - some do and stay, whereas others will be dismissive and walk away.

One of my friends knows how fucked up I am, and although they don't understand, they wouldn't walk away (I've tried to get them to). The other friend has accepted it, and they just want me to be happy, whatever that means.

True friends are hard to come by

i've been hospitalized for a very short time once before, not too long ago. and i was watched for a while when i was a teenager. i recently had someone cut all ties with me because they found out about my plans and couldn't do anything to change my mind. they were very special to me and i had a lot of love for them, it broke me even further when they left me, but it's their right. i couldn't ask them to stay with me until i died just so i wouldn't feel lonely. it would have been very selfish of me. since then, i just don't try to open up to anyone about how i'm really feeling. i know no one really wants to help, nor could they. if i told anyone, they would just leave me or call me crazy and try to lock me up. yeah, better to keep those plans private no matter how much it eats away at you inside. i'm sorry about this horrible experience you're going through, i hope they let you out soon.

One of my friends have accepted it. But, things are now changing as I can go home once my stay here is over, so I'm happy now. I'm happy and settled there, I just had to leave because of an abuser.

I agree with you. No one wants to help, expect friends that *really* give a shit. Not everyone understands though - some do and stay, whereas others will be dismissive and walk away.

One of my friends knows how fucked up I am, and although they don't understand, they wouldn't walk away (I've tried to get them to). The other friend has accepted it, and they just want me to be happy, whatever that means.

True friends are hard to come by. I don't talk to my friends all the time, it's now and again really. I don't get lonely, I love my own company - most don't. I haven't met anyone that is like me and a massive loner, and happy to admit it.

I hope you can make one friend that has similar thoughts to you, so you understand each other