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The Enneagram Type 2, often referred to as "The Helper" or "The Giver," is characterized by a deep-seated desire to connect with others by offering assistance and support. While this personality type is known for their kindness, generosity, and empathy, the negative aspects of their nature can create challenges in both their personal lives and relationships. Their negative aspects tend to take the following forms:
- Overly Self-Sacrificing: Strong inclination to prioritize others' needs over their own, often to the detriment of their own well-being.
- Validation Seeking: Seeking approval and validation from others by constantly helping and being indispensable.
- Manipulative Behavior: Tendency to manipulate situations and emotions to feel needed and valued.
- Hidden Agenda: Helping others with the underlying expectation of receiving appreciation or reciprocation.
- Boundary Issues: Difficulty setting healthy boundaries, leading to emotional exhaustion and burnout.
- Resentment: Developing resentment when their efforts aren't acknowledged or reciprocated as expected.
- Ignoring Personal Needs: Neglecting their own needs and desires while focusing excessively on fulfilling others'.
- Fear of Rejection: Constantly fearing rejection or abandonment if they don't meet others' needs.
- Dependence on Others' Approval: Relying on external validation for their sense of self-worth and identity.
- Loss of Authenticity: Suppressing their own feelings and opinions to cater to others' preferences.
- Emotional Manipulation: Using emotions to control situations, often making others feel guilty for not complying.
- Avoiding Conflict: Going to great lengths to avoid conflict and disagreements, even at their own expense.
- Loss of Identity: Struggling to distinguish their own desires and identity from those they help.
- Exaggerated Selflessness: Displaying excessive selflessness to the point of denying their own needs altogether.
- Emotional Volatility: Swinging between feelings of selflessness and moments of frustration or anger.
- Martyr Complex: Adopting the role of the martyr, using their sacrifices to garner sympathy and attention.
- Conditional Giving: Giving with strings attached, expecting something in return for their help.
- Neglecting Self-Reflection: Focusing so much on others that they fail to reflect on their own feelings and motivations.
- Unhealthy Attachments: Forming co-dependent relationships based on their role as the caregiver.
- Burnout: Constantly overextending themselves without proper self-care, leading to burnout.
- Loss of Autonomy: Feeling trapped by their need to be needed, which can hinder their personal growth.
- Fear of Abandonment: Worrying that if they stop helping, they'll be abandoned or unloved.
- Validation Addiction: Becoming addicted to the emotional highs they get from being needed and appreciated.
I think you can have fun with that. Reading that list hits hard because of how many I can see in my behavior.
Interesting to me that you chose to point out that you don't feel guilty rather than that you aren't self-sufficient under the same list:
The conservation E5 is independent, due to the fear of being swallowed, and due to the belief that he does not have much to give. He does not ask for help; the world is not to be trusted. This mistrust originated from the primary relationship with the caregivers, who did not respond adequately to the person. Experiencing great frustration when not being able to support others, the conservation E5 chooses to retire from relationships. Despite his self-sufficiency, his material life is often lacking, because he does not need much either. This subtype can choose low-paying jobs because he values independence above all else.
Social 5 fits how you see yourself more. I think Self-preservation 5 might fit who you actually are more. It's important to remember that these tests are not reflections of who we are, but who we see ourselves as, because we are answering the questions and our view of ourself can be flawed.
Considering the point of the test is to identify issues, maybe don't be so quick to say "I don't feel guilt" and explore the idea that it may be taking an indirect form.
I don't think you're supposed to read the descriptions and think "fuck yeah, that's me and I'm awesome," you're supposed to think "ah, shit, that is me and I have some stuff to work on."