15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
Just had a reminder of why I need to ctb as soon as possible. The only methods I can use are partial hanging and the tourniquet. Which method is faster/more efficient? I have strong enough rope which I could use for either, I also have tights and a lanyard which I'm considering for the tourniquet. The lanyard has a metal piece on it which I can move around so I thought it'd be safer than a knot since it can't come undone. Personally I prefer the idea of the tourniquet but it seems less successful than partial and I can't risk failure.
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
What reminder gave you the rush?
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
What reminder gave you the rush?
Keep making people's lives worse and more difficult, need to stop it from happening again. No way I can fix it.
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
Damn, :/ sorry and sorry I don't have an answer to your question
 
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A

anonymous23x

Member
Jan 15, 2019
45
Keep making people's lives worse and more difficult, need to stop it from happening again. No way I can fix it.

Would it help to take some time away from those people just for a bit?

I'm sorry i don't know your story, I am new to the site
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
I don't know enough about those methods to give good advice on technicalities...but I will tell you in 99% of cases it's not as urgent as you think. Sometimes there just is no real way for us to live with certain things and I get that 100%...but most of the time it's worth taking the time to plan properly and not be reactive and impulsive. Far more chance of messing up and making things worse that way. It sounds counterintuitive, but when in crisis or acute distress is the worst time to try and CTB. I am a fan of the "sleep on it" approach to big decisions. If you still feel after some rest and time that its THAT urgent then you at least got that clarity.

If this is about the friend thing...that will pass. You are clearly a kind and sensitive soul and it's normal to be hurt by such things. You are also not this blight on others that you see yourself as. Empathetic people so often turn things internally. Anyone can see just by how you act here that you are good and caring.
Thank you ♡ but I know I'm going to ctb at one point or another and it's just easier on myself and everyone else to do it sooner rather than later. I won't do it impulsively but I'll have to decide how I go about it soon
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
Would it help to take some time away from those people just for a bit?

I'm sorry i don't know your story, I am new to the site
I don't know, whatever I do seems to hurt everyone around me so there's no 'rigt
Would it help to take some time away from those people just for a bit?

I'm sorry i don't know your story, I am new to the site
Not really, I've put myself in a position where anything I do will just make matters worse and that includes distancing myself. Thank you for the suggestion though, and welcome to SS! ♡
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
@15dec First rule of life - and death. We never ctb over a man - Emily Pankhurst would be horrified! :-) Now, that's got your attention!

Ctb never a good idea done on impulse. It nearly always ends in failure. You are NOT responsible for how other people feel. Other people choose for themselves how they feel. You do not make people's lives worse; you are a sweet, bright lady who is a joy.

Step back from this and look at it objectively. Leave your friend to calm down and collect his thoughts and you do the same.

"Everything will be ok in the end - and if it's not ok then it's not the end"
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
@15dec First rule of life - and death. We never ctb over a man - Emily Pankhurst would be horrified! :-) Now, that's got your attention!

Ctb never a good idea done on impulse. It nearly always ends in failure. You are NOT responsible for how other people feel. Other people choose for themselves how they feel. You do not make people's lives worse; you are a sweet, bright lady who is a joy.

Step back from this and look at it objectively. Leave your friend to calm down and collect his thoughts and you do the same.

"Everything will be ok in the end - and if it's not ok then it's not the end"
I'll hold back for a bit, sadly I've done stuff like this to most of my family and friends so I think it's definitely a problem with me. But thank you anyways, you're too kind ♡
 
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A

anonymous23x

Member
Jan 15, 2019
45
I don't know, whatever I do seems to hurt everyone around me so there's no 'rigt

Not really, I've put myself in a position where anything I do will just make matters worse and that includes distancing myself. Thank you for the suggestion though, and welcome to SS! ♡

You seem like someone who cares about others, so much so that you're thinking about ctb to not hurt them...

Mostly, the people I have met turned out to be pure evil, they couldn't care less about others, and only cared about using people for their own benefit... You're not one of those people, because the last thing they would ever think of doing is admitting that they've done wrong.

Things are usually fixable, only in exceptional cases they are not... This sounds like a situation that very well could get better with time?
 
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deathbycakes

deathbycakes

Member
Sep 14, 2018
97
i've been following your story and i was happy when you mentioned about recovery (in off-topics), i think you're a sweet soul and i hope you can be strong to not to give in because of other people.

like what justaboutdone said; never ctb over a man

hugs
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
You seem like someone who cares about others, so much so that you're thinking about ctb to not hurt them...

Mostly, the people I have met turned out to be pure evil, they couldn't care less about others, and only cared about using people for their own benefit... You're not one of those people, because the last thing they would ever think of doing is admitting that they've done wrong.

Things are usually fixable, only in exceptional cases they are not... This sounds like a situation that very well could get better with time?
Thanks, sadly I've been doing the same things to people for years and the more I try to stop and be a genuine good person the more damage I seem to be causing. I don't think more time would improve anything if I'm honest, I think I've done all I can
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
i've been following your story and i was happy when you mentioned about recovery (in off-topics), i think you're a sweet soul and i hope you can be strong to not to give in because of other people.

like what justaboutdone said; never ctb over a man

hugs
Thank you ♡ I've known that I'll ctb at some point in my life anyways. Things like what happened last night/this morning happen a lot and with different people too so I really do think ctb is the best option for myself and everyone else
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
Thank you ♡ I've known that I'll ctb at some point in my life anyways. Things like what happened last night/this morning happen a lot and with different people too so I really do think ctb is the best option for myself and everyone else

I know the feeling. The most important thing is not to rush your suicide though. Most attempts fail, and the better you prepare the more likely you are to succeed!
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
I know the feeling. The most important thing is not to rush your suicide though. Most attempts fail, and the better you prepare the more likely you are to succeed!
Yeah, it's just a matter of waiting for the right opportunity now, I think. I'm sorry you know the same feeling though, it's really awful. Hugs
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
Yeah, it's just a matter of waiting for the right opportunity now, I think. I'm sorry you know the same feeling though, it's really awful. Hugs

Hugs! You're strong, I know you'll make it through until the right time comes. I'm a lot weaker than you and even I am making it to my date.
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
Hugs! You're strong, I know you'll make it through until the right time comes. I'm a lot weaker than you and even I am making it to my date.
That just shows you're strong too :)
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
Thank you ♡ I've known that I'll ctb at some point in my life anyways. Things like what happened last night/this morning happen a lot and with different people too so I really do think ctb is the best option for myself and everyone else

@15dec It's difficult as you have been conditioned from babyhood to take responsibility for everything and everyone and it's a really hard habit to break. Trust me when I say you are not responsible for other people. Things will always happen to people around you - it doesn't mean that you are the problem. Try to take a step away for a day or so from these people and focus just on doing nice things for you - the small comforts that @TiredHorse spoke of. It really helps give a fresh perspective.

Because you are so mature, you will be one of those people who will really flourish when college days and all the drama and intensity of that is over. Xxxxxx
 
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M

Miss clefable

Enlightened
Aug 23, 2018
1,577
Hugs I'm going next month myself
 
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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
Hugs here too. I'm going when I get paid next from my school financial aid.

Good luck 15dec.
 
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throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,446
Just had a reminder of why I need to ctb as soon as possible.

Same here. :((( In fact I am reminded of it every single second.
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
Same here. :((( In fact I am reminded of it every single second.
That sucks, I'm sorry you're going through the same. It's been worse this year, I don't think I've gone more than two or three days without something happening to stop any progress I try to make to recover or remind me that ctb is the only real way out. Hugs
 
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V

valium

waste
Jan 15, 2019
13
I need to ctb as soon as possible.

yup, i got a reminder last night too. thinking of heading down to beachy head today since its only ~1hr from me. like others have said though, don't rush, and the best of luck with everything.
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
yup, i got a reminder last night too. thinking of heading down to beachy head today since its only ~1hr from me. like others have said though, don't rush, and the best of luck with everything.
As long as neither of us do it on impulse or rush I think it should be okay. I'm sorry you've had a reminder as well, it's really terrible. Best of luck to you too, hugs
 
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