Need help im scared and dont know if i want to die

[ifeelsobad]

I'm not sure if I want to die or not but if I do I don't want it to be on purpose(which is why I keep trying to figure out how to have a seizure and then I'll just have it next to a place where I fall or drown or something)

Right now I just want to be in the hospital because I don't exactly want to die right now but I'm scared of everything. I'm scared to be home and I'm scared to be on my own. I just want a break. I've been in hospitals before and I feel safe there and it's kind of a break for me(not the mental hospital though only the medical kind) I have epilepsy and want to have a seizure but I can not stop my medication because I am watched to make sure I take it so I don't know any other ways. Anyway I've been researching those crazy moms who make there kids sick...how do they do it? They can make a kid have a seizure that's not even really sick. Is there a way I can do it to myself? Make myself sick?

Also my job is stressing me out so so so bad and I want to have a good reason to not go(being sick) for a while. I'm so depressed and I can't take anymore of this

 

[Sulyya]

I really don't have any advice for how to make yourself be hospitalized. Did you have a bad experience in a mental hospital/psych ward before? I suppose they generally give you meds there that you may not want.

 

[ifeelsobad]

I really don't have any advice for how to make yourself be hospitalized. Did you have a bad experience in a mental hospital/psych ward before? I suppose they generally give you meds there that you may not want.

I've been many times and it's like being in prison. I can't have anything from home I can't have my cell phone or internet. There's nothing to do and it's boring and the beds aren't comfortable(at least in medical I can have friends and family visit whenever and I can have anything I want from home as well as my cell phone) and no fresh air since I can't open a window or sit outside

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think the moms you reference usually use some kind of a chemical or drug. There are plants out that can produce certain symptoms when someone is given certain amounts. I don't know which plants produce which symptoms. You'd have to do your own research on that to see if you could come up with some cases and if it were divulged what they used. The term given to moms (doesn't have to be a mom) that make their kids sick is Munchausen syndrome by proxy.

 

[foreversad16]

I'm not sure if I want to die or not but if I do I don't want it to be on purpose(which is why I keep trying to figure out how to have a seizure and then I'll just have it next to a place where I fall or drown or something)

Right now I just want to be in the hospital because I don't exactly want to die right now but I'm scared of everything. I'm scared to be home and I'm scared to be on my own. I just want a break. I've been in hospitals before and I feel safe there and it's kind of a break for me(not the mental hospital though only the medical kind) I have epilepsy and want to have a seizure but I can not stop my medication because I am watched to make sure I take it so I don't know any other ways. Anyway I've been researching those crazy moms who make there kids sick...how do they do it? They can make a kid have a seizure that's not even really sick. Is there a way I can do it to myself? Make myself sick?

Also my job is stressing me out so so so bad and I want to have a good reason to not go(being sick) for a while. I'm so depressed and I can't take anymore of this

Can you speak with your Mum/another family member? Write it down if it's easier. You don't need to mention your suicidality unless you want to. I was so grateful for a chance to help my daughter when she first told me how she was really feeling. Often family members react to behaviours that they don't understand in a way that hurts you. My daughter would act out, be rude, uncommunicative and insensitive. She was acting that way because she was struggling so badly and couldn't vocalise her emotions so she projected them instead. Perhaps give someone a chance to be with and look after you. Ask your Dr for a sick note, you need some time off to rest and process all this.

 

[ifeelsobad]

I think the moms you reference usually use some kind of a chemical or drug. There are plants out that can produce certain symptoms when someone is given certain amounts. I don't know which plants produce which symptoms. You'd have to do your own research on that to see if you could come up with some cases and if it were divulged what they used. The term given to moms (doesn't have to be a mom) that make their kids sick is Munchausen syndrome by proxy.

I saw a popular thing was forcing seizures...how do I do that? I can't find much through Google. I already actually have epilepsy I was born with it..but my medication works really well and I don't know how to trigger it