Need advive for CBT

[ElderlyJackson32]

So I'm 110% sure I'm ready to go. I feel like every day passing by is just procrastination for something I need to do. I feel it is mandatory. I've attempted with a lot of pressed Xanax and 800mcg of fentanyl. My mother found me. I've been searching and trying to get drugs that I can end it with, but I haven't succeeded. Anyways, the main point of this thread was to ask how I can get over the fear of blowing my brains out. I have access to a shotgun which I know people would be greatful for, I know I'm ready to go, but I can't bring myself to shoot myself for fear of messing up and ending up in unbearable pain. Anyone have any advice that could maybe make me feel more comfortable with going through with it?
Also I apologize if I worded everything like a fool I've been drinking a lot

 

[Uso]

Don't worry, you're completely coherent. I have 2 ideas, but they're sort of conflicting, haha.

1st: Do as much research as you can. Look at other firearms threads on here, I'm certain there's tons of research available. Maybe research the brain and how to shoot to kill as well, though I wouldn't know where to begin looking for that. Basically, just make yourself as close to 100% confident as you can be that you know what you're doing. A real shame we can't just practice!

2nd: When the moment comes... tap into the "impulsive" part of you and just do it. Whenever I self harm or behave recklessly I kind of just abandon reason and think "fuck it" so I can overcome my hesitation. I'm sure when the act is life-ending, it will be much harder, but I believe it's still worth a shot (pun intended).

Best of luck with whatever you choose!

 

[ElderlyJackson32]

Don't worry, you're completely coherent. I have 2 ideas, but they're sort of conflicting, haha.

1st: Do as much research as you can. Look at other firearms threads on here, I'm certain there's tons of research available. Maybe research the brain and how to shoot to kill as well, though I wouldn't know where to begin looking for that. Basically, just make yourself as close to 100% confident as you can be that you know what you're doing. A real shame we can't just practice!

2nd: When the moment comes... tap into the "impulsive" part of you and just do it. Whenever I self harm or behave recklessly I kind of just abandon reason and think "fuck it" so I can overcome my hesitation. I'm sure when the act is life-ending, it will be much harder, but I believe it's still worth a shot (pun intended).

Best of luck with whatever you choose!

Appreciate it

Don't worry, you're completely coherent. I have 2 ideas, but they're sort of conflicting, haha.

1st: Do as much research as you can. Look at other firearms threads on here, I'm certain there's tons of research available. Maybe research the brain and how to shoot to kill as well, though I wouldn't know where to begin looking for that. Basically, just make yourself as close to 100% confident as you can be that you know what you're doing. A real shame we can't just practice!

2nd: When the moment comes... tap into the "impulsive" part of you and just do it. Whenever I self harm or behave recklessly I kind of just abandon reason and think "fuck it" so I can overcome my hesitation. I'm sure when the act is life-ending, it will be much harder, but I believe it's still worth a shot (pun intended).

Best of luck with whatever you choose!

Appreciate it

 

[TAW122]

Another thing to add here is about firearms, try to do it via dry firing. I have done lots of dry firing runs that I know approximately how much pounds of pressure I need to exert from my finger on the trigger in order to drop the hammer (thus firing the round had there been a round in the chamber). Also, by having the barrel to your head or in your mouth allows you to grow accustomed to an actual firearm so when the real attempt comes you will have familiarity.