Venting Need advice on how to deal a partner with bpd

[moya117]

I lose him... Idk what to do, I haven't been interacting with people for almost 1 year FOR HIM, I lose everything, the only people who came at me just wants to use me, idk what to do anymore. It sounds silly because "it's just a breakup" it's not that simple IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE, PEOPLE DON'T CARE

 

[Worndown]

My ex had untreated bpd. It was a very rough ride. I feel your pain. I finally had to break away because her situation only declined and it became unacceptably dangerous.
Is he receiving any treatment, counseling or medications?

 

[moya117]

My ex had untreated bpd. It was a very rough ride. I feel your pain. I finally had to break away because her situation only declined and it became unacceptably dangerous.
Is he receiving any treatment, counseling or medications?

No he doesn't

 

[Worndown]

No treatment is 100% but something is better than nothing. Will he consider getting help? If he rejects it, he will be in for a tough life.
She refused all help even with a long history of bpd in her family. Not sure how much was pride, denial or just the illness. I have known her for 35 years but needed to break away completely ten years ago because she was becoming less stable and violent.
I hope both of you can avoid that but be aware it is possible.

 

[moya117]

No treatment is 100% but something is better than nothing. Will he consider getting help? If he rejects it, he will be in for a tough life.
She refused all help even with a long history of bpd in her family. Not sure how much was pride, denial or just the illness. I have known her for 35 years but needed to break away completely ten years ago because she was becoming less stable and violent.
I hope both of you can avoid that but be aware it is possible.

Idk, I OFFER him to get therapy (he already do it before once) with my savings but he rejected it, ik it can be that he feels bad about taking my money away, but his history of saying basically "idk If I really wanted to change or nah" makes me questions his real intentions because apparently "idk, what's wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with me".
He broke up with me, twisted the story, posting it on Twitter that I gave him suicide threat, yes I posted a story about suicide (our relationship are pretty much a lost cause) but I didn't specify that it's because of him. HE'S the one that actively trying to off himself when I try to walk away, funny isn't it. He only stayed because he's not ready yet.
His Twitter acc? @God0fT_HisWorld

 

[Worndown]

What are your long term plans? Sometimes you cannot help people.

 

[moya117]

What are your long term plans? Sometimes you cannot help people.

Idk, maybe focus on myself more, and just hope there's someone that'll give me as much love as I will give them. Focus on my hobbies too

 

[Pretty_Damaged1111]

I suffer from BPD. It is a hell that I don't wish upon anyone. I am begging my narcissistic husband to give me a divorce and let me move out. If he ever does, I vow to be single and not make anyone have to deal with me/my issues. I now realize how difficult it is for someone to try to deal with me and it is not fair for me to put someone through that.

 

[moya117]

I suffer from BPD. It is a hell that I don't wish upon anyone. I am begging my narcissistic husband to give me a divorce and let me move out. If he ever does, I vow to be single and not make anyone have to deal with me/my issues. I now realize how difficult it is for someone to try to deal with me and it is not fair for me to put someone through that.

I mean if the relationship is toxic then I guess you're right. you deserve better.
Whatever path you may take, may you find peace and freedom<3

 

[Worndown]

Idk, maybe focus on myself more, and just hope there's someone that'll give me as much love as I will give them. Focus on my hobbies too

The break from someone you do care about is extremely difficult. Even 10 years later I feel bad for my ex an her unresolved issues.
I am not sorry for breaking away. There is a world of people out there and you need to meet them. Search for groups that share your hobbies. That is easy and can immediately connect you to people with a shared interest. Build from there.

 

[chloramine]

I lose him... Idk what to do, I haven't been interacting with people for almost 1 year FOR HIM, I lose everything, the only people who came at me just wants to use me, idk what to do anymore. It sounds silly because "it's just a breakup" it's not that simple IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE, PEOPLE DON'T CARE

However this turns out and whatever you decide I think it would be good for you to find other people (if you stay then in addition to him). Being isolated and only having one person is dangerous and it makes it a lot easier to become trapped. Also do not trust anyone trying to isolate you from everyone else- it's a common abuse tactic. Also I understand finding other people is hard and not always possible but even acquaintances with a shared interest through taking a class or participating in a sport can make a huge difference. I'm really sorry your situation is what it is and I hope things improve in some way. You don't deserve this.

 

[moya117]

The break from someone you do care about is extremely difficult. Even 10 years later I feel bad for my ex an her unresolved issues.
I am not sorry for breaking away. There is a world of people out there and you need to meet them. Search for groups that share your hobbies. That is easy and can immediately connect you to people with a shared interest. Build from there.

However this turns out and whatever you decide I think it would be good for you to find other people (if you stay then in addition to him). Being isolated and only having one person is dangerous and it makes it a lot easier to become trapped. Also do not trust anyone trying to isolate you from everyone else- it's a common abuse tactic. Also I understand finding other people is hard and not always possible but even acquaintances with a shared interest through taking a class or participating in a sport can make a huge difference. I'm really sorry your situation is what it is and I hope things improve in some way. You don't deserve this.

Thank you, you all care enough to reply, support and give me advice:)
My situations get better, My relationship with my mother is getting better, and that's enough for me to keep going for now:')

I wish you all the best in life

 

[Worndown]

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