My worst fear

[golgappa]

My fear has come true.

My life is over.

I don't want to be alive, but I can't die. I am in pain. Sometimes it feels like I'm in hell, being tortured by God. We all are. I feel like I'm just a toy that God is laughing at. No matter how much I beg or try to fix my life, I find myself back here—shaking in fear.

The love my family and friends give me feels more like torture than something that should bring happiness. Every action I take feels like I'm on the verge of falling, with everyone laughing at me, scoffing, "Oh, she did it again." I'm tired. I want to be dead.

I pray every day to be shot or hit by a car or bus, but something always stops me from just standing in the middle of the road, waiting for it to happen. I don't know how to deal with these emotions..

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Somewhat relatable. It's so draining and painful to not want to be alive and not being able to die. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, it's so cruel to me how existence causes all this pain. But anyway I wish you the best.