Venting My very existence is pointless

[elliottsmith]

My own father threw me to the ground and the only person I thought I could trust,helped him,I never wanted to die as much as I did right now.

To be fair I always have had my mental problems.For hell's sake I'm autistic,but damn I made everyone cry in a single night,I never felt so suicidal...

I wish I could die right now,I've been planning my death for more than a month,but now I've got to go for good,I hope that after I'm gone they will stop the involuntary hospitalization bs,this dream won't ever be achieved but what am I if not a dreamer?!

Hell,I will leave my parents for good and I will off myself,don't get me wrong,it is not an impulsive thing,I wanted to do it for the longest time,but hell did the psychiatrist and my well meaning family,made it easier?!

I really hope you guys find whatever it is that you are looking for,I'll just buy my SN and face whathever it is that's to live in the afterlife,I don't have to buy from DMC or anything,you can buy it easily here,thank you guys for all the information and for all the comfort provided I really hope we all will be ok,today I've made my decision,may God forgive us!

 

[easypeasy]

I can totally relate to leaving because I don't see another way out of the people I'm related to. Sadly, due to an unfortunate series of medical negligence…I lost my livelihood and now reside in a single room in an old run down hose of my mothers. I've been greatly betrayed by her and my brother and sister in law to the point I have no choice. If I had my health, I could leave and live my own life and wouldn't have to ctb. It's very sad.