My physical pain has just been getting worse every day. I can barely walk or sit up right... I can't work or go to class. The surgeon says my surgery will not help the pain, and to go to my regular doctor. I couldn't see my regular doctor soon, so I made an appointment with another doctor, who was not helpful at all and just set up an appointment with my regular doctor in December... I need to see her much sooner than that. I need to get on disability so I can at least earn some money to try to pay rent. I've quit all my hobbies because everything hurts... I don't understand why no one is taking me seriously. People with my condition all say it doesn't really get better... at least this is motivation to CTB soon.
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 47,962
I'm sorry you have to suffer, it must be really tiring what you have to go through, it's so cruel to me how there's all this pain and suffering. But anyway I wish you the best.I have 24/7 chronic pain from a very nasty car crash. Car crash not my fault one bit.
I will just throw this out here, ONLY trying to help a good friend on here, you.
After the car crash and getting out of ICU and the hospital in 2015, I went through 4 pain clinics till I found a doctor and staff that actually wanted to help and not just grab the money.
The pain doctor that I go to, is THE only reason that I have NOT ctb yet. He is the most kind and compassionate person ever.
If it matters, i live in the U.S. and with that aspect said, if I was you depending on factors like where you live, private or public health insurance and the like, I would try different pain clinics and find one where the medical staff WANTS to help instead of just giving lip service and help you. If they are no good, kick them to the curb and go onto the next place.
At least here in the U.S., ALL medical and dental is about money and if one does not help or does not want to work together, out they go.
Having had crappy constant pain for almost a decade now, my heart and soul goes out to you, as no one should have to live in pain with all the medical help that there is.
Like my pain doctor, he has no issues giving me opioids and they have been a life savior for me.
Sending you lots of HUGE hugs, love, understanding, and the knowledge that we are ALL in this together here as family.
Walter
Thank you for your kind words. Seems unfair that it's so difficult and expensive to fix certain problems (like medical), but then they won't give you the option of dying either. Your only choice is to suffer.
Thank you very much for your advice and your words. I'm so very sorry you have chronic pain. Mine is from a fairly recent condition and it's already so much to deal with, I can't imagine living like this for a decade. My surgeon has recommended finding a pain doctor as well, I'm currently in the process of doing so. My condition is quite rare, and not fixable (the surgery will only prevent worse damage) and in the support groups for it, many people say the pain won't ever go away. So after a lifetime of mental pain, now facing the prospect of the rest of my life in physical pain, things seem quite hopeless, especially living in the U.S. with the crappy expensive medical system. But it is nice to know I am not alone. Much love to you as well my friend
Last edited:If all goes well with my doctor's visits, I should have my surgery scheduled for the end of this year or the beginning of next year. But because of my general ineptitude, and now also my worsening health, I've been unable to find a good job and now I'm unable to work at all. I'm trying to get on disability but it's tough. My parents said they will pay all my medical bills and pay for my surgery, which I'm extremely grateful for, but I've already cost them so much. I rely on their money when I'm already much too old to be relying on my parents, when in fact I'm at the age where my parents should be able to rely on me. My ideal plan is to CTB on my birthday next year, so there is at least only one sad anniversary associated with me, but my surgery will likely be scheduled before my birthday. I know the surgery and hospital stay will be incredibly expensive, even with insurance. I don't want my parents to have to waste their money paying that, so I should CTB before that. But the timing is tricky.Maybe the reason my ex was in my life is not because we were meant to be together, but so that he could introduce me to guns, so that I could become comfortable around them, learning to shoot them, and be able to rely on that as a CTB option. Maybe it was meant to be that he came into my life but could never stay. Maybe the cruelty of him leaving is a gift from god.MRI on Friday. Part of me hopes they won't find anything so that I can use that as an excuse to CTB. I can't believe I'm still here. I'm such a coward.
You are NOT EVER a coward EVER!!
You are a strong, kind, caring and ever so thoughtful person.
Believe it, I do.
At the age of 70, I have had everything under and over the sun, as far as medical goes and a MRI is preventative in my book.
So, it shows that you are a smart person.
hugs and you will do great, as the only thing that I never liked about an MRI was being in a tube, but they always had great music to listen to, and the last one even had a video screen that showed a tropical setting.
WalterSimilar threads
