WorthlessTrash
Worthless
- Apr 19, 2022
- 2,407
Haven't posted much on the forum lately, because I feel my venting has gotten stale, but I guess I should say that it's looking like the end is near for me. I have my sn in hand and will hopefully catch the bus and cease to be sometime within the next 2 weeks. There is no way for me to live a happy life under these circumstances. The envy I feel when I see attractive women irl, TV, music videos, or even when women call each other "beautiful" is too much. Virtue signaling by calling me a girl or a woman all because I desire to be one doesn't change what my assigned sex is, realizing that any hobby I could have taken up, I could have done as an attractive cis woman weighs extremely heavily on it. Women who flaunt their sexuality and looks (not gonna lie, if I was an attractive woman, I would be prideful of my appearance too) just bother me. There is no escaping my triggers except suicide, which I am sure is the best course of action for me.
I'm not content living as a wage slave when I cannot be in the body I want. Also, if I was an attractive cis female, I would still CTB in my 40s, but at least being one, I would have been relatively happy in my young life and not dysphoric. Just coping so I can live a few more years doesn't seem worth it. We all die eventually anyways, and there's no benefit in growing extremely old and decrepid, especially when your entire young life has been nothing but misery.
A lot of people have and will continue to implore that I transition, take E, become a femboy etc, but no thank you. I have declined those unsolicited suggestions and will continue to do so until my last and final breath. I wanted to have been female right out of the gate, and since that did not happen, my suicide is my response to my terrible life circumstances. Over the next week or so, I should be working on my suicide note. My family needs to know that this could not have been prevented. I was dead the minute I was assigned the wrong sex. I'm just surprised I lasted this long, but even that was way too long.
I no longer have any romantic or sexual desire so even less of a reason to stick around. There is nothing that can make tolerating this dysphoria even remotely worth it. I cannot wait until I am at peace finally!
I'm not content living as a wage slave when I cannot be in the body I want. Also, if I was an attractive cis female, I would still CTB in my 40s, but at least being one, I would have been relatively happy in my young life and not dysphoric. Just coping so I can live a few more years doesn't seem worth it. We all die eventually anyways, and there's no benefit in growing extremely old and decrepid, especially when your entire young life has been nothing but misery.
A lot of people have and will continue to implore that I transition, take E, become a femboy etc, but no thank you. I have declined those unsolicited suggestions and will continue to do so until my last and final breath. I wanted to have been female right out of the gate, and since that did not happen, my suicide is my response to my terrible life circumstances. Over the next week or so, I should be working on my suicide note. My family needs to know that this could not have been prevented. I was dead the minute I was assigned the wrong sex. I'm just surprised I lasted this long, but even that was way too long.
I no longer have any romantic or sexual desire so even less of a reason to stick around. There is nothing that can make tolerating this dysphoria even remotely worth it. I cannot wait until I am at peace finally!
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