Venting My therapist gave up on me.

[xxAbigailxx]

again...

I already had numerous therapists and not one of them could help me...they all gave up on me and now this one did too...I give up, I won't try again. I just wanna die, I just want to die

 

[Catastrofe]

What did they tell you?

 

[xxAbigailxx]

What did they tell you?

Told me I was kind of too aware and thats why its not working...(not in the same words but I think thats what they meant)

 

[hellispink]

It has happened to me so many times i forgot the count. I have bdp, so no one can help me. I just accepted it. I have one now and it's very uncomfortable . I know too much and I studied psychology myself too so its like i am a lost case. Maybe its me i am the problem is me

 

[stermc]

It has happened to me so many times i forgot the count. I have bdp, so no one can help me. I just accepted it. I have one now and it's very uncomfortable . I know too much and I studied psychology myself too so its like i am a lost case. Maybe its me i am the problem is me

Have you tried DBT? They say it's the best type of therapy to treat BPD.

 

[dopaminedeath]

Have antidepressants helped? What's your diagnosis

 

[Catastrofe]

I am very sorry you both are going through this.
I know what it's like to feel alone, like noone can really help you.
I myself had 3 different therapist, the 4th one seems to work somehow, for now.
Therapist are people themselves, and of course they cannot do miracles.

What I found useful was trying to ask myself what I am looking for in a therapist. To me, the most important is to be heard and believed, at the moment. A friend of mine likes her one because she is a very active person, with many interests and many projects ongoing. Another one like his because he is more an intellectual kind, I have been there to and his studio is so full of books, paintings, aet of every kind ; he is also kind of brutal in saying stuff, this is why I could not get along with him. I need a sweeter kind, a bit more patient too.
May you guys try to think about who would you like the therapist to be?
Because the relationship, the trust, ... that part is the core of the healing process.

I am not sure if this helps or give you anything new to think about.
I wish you to take a breath, and have some peace at some point, however you choose to achieve that.

 

[stermc]

again...

I already had numerous therapists and not one of them could help me...they all gave up on me and now this one did too...I give up, I won't try again. I just wanna die, I just want to die

I am so sorry this is happening to you.
If your therapist is "giving up" on you, they are not a really good therapist.

 

[Catastrofe]

DBT

May I ask what is that? :)

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Told me I was kind of too aware and thats why its not working...(not in the same words but I think thats what they meant)

I'm so sorry to hear that. Does that mean your situation is genuinely hopeless and you are aware of it?
For some people, their depression is the result of the bleak outlook and they don't have any "cognitive distortion."
If you feel like, please post your feeling here.
Anyway I wish you the best

 

[SVEN]

May I ask what is that? :)

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy is a type of, or based on, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy I believe. It's like a kind of talking therapy as far as I get it.

 

[stermc]

May I ask what is that? :)

What @SVEN said. But I would add that it's focused on understanding and accepting your feelings, learning how to deal with them… Of course it could change depending on the therapist and your demands.
I have been to therapy since I was 4 years old and DBT was the only type of therapy that actually helped me.

 

[Holu]

Ignorance is bliss after all. In many ways awareness will prevent you from truly dedicating yourself to something, especially if you can see its ultimate futility. I'm sorry for whatever suffering you have and are now currently going through. If you ever need to talk feel free to dm me, or simply ask any one of these wonderful people. I promise on everything I am and own we won't give up on you

 

[hellispink]

Have you tried DBT? They say it's the best type of therapy to treat BPD.

Yep. Thats the type of therapy my actual therapist is doing.

 

[NambaSutra]

DBT is just another useless fad. I've done it and have the workbook. You're supposed to learn all these acronyms that supposedly tell you how to behave in different situations but I've found it makes no difference to my lifelong misery.

 

[xxAbigailxx]

I am very sorry you both are going through this.
I know what it's like to feel alone, like noone can really help you.
I myself had 3 different therapist, the 4th one seems to work somehow, for now.
Therapist are people themselves, and of course they cannot do miracles.

What I found useful was trying to ask myself what I am looking for in a therapist. To me, the most important is to be heard and believed, at the moment. A friend of mine likes her one because she is a very active person, with many interests and many projects ongoing. Another one like his because he is more an intellectual kind, I have been there to and his studio is so full of books, paintings, aet of every kind ; he is also kind of brutal in saying stuff, this is why I could not get along with him. I need a sweeter kind, a bit more patient too.
May you guys try to think about who would you like the therapist to be?
Because the relationship, the trust, ... that part is the core of the healing process.

I am not sure if this helps or give you anything new to think about.
I wish you to take a breath, and have some peace at some point, however you choose to achieve that.

yeah, I guess part of it was because we didnt really "click"...but I had so many therapists already and I really wanted it to work... but we always went in circles and nothing progressed....I always had the feeling that they never really understand what I am saying...

I am not saying that they are a bad person...I am just kinda convinced at this point that I am a lost case haha...like...that there is too much broken already and its beyond repair...(I know that this sounds dramatic and clichee but I can't come up with any other reason why it never worked...I am really trying...I always was....)

I promise on everything I am and own we won't give up on you

wow thats...thats a first haha...no one ever said that to me...thank you...that felt really...idk good? Yeah that felt really good...thank you. I am crying now haha

 

[WaitingToGo]

That's what they are starting to do with me. I have to fill out this chart, baseline and acute for physical, cognitive, behavioral and emotional and what is the trigger that makes me go from baseline depressed to acute depressed. I filled it out and will show the therapist next week, but I've no real confidence this is going to do anything because at the moment there is no difference between the baseline and acute

 

[Catastrofe]

I am just kinda convinced at this point that I am a lost case haha...like...that there is too much broken already and its beyond repair...(I know that this sounds dramatic and clichee but I can't come up with any other reason why it never worked...I am really trying...I always was....)

I think everyone here, somehow or at some degree, feels like that. I am not trying to belittle your feelings, just to say that I find it quite common. I feel the same way most of the time.

Have you maybe tried to look spedifically for someone suicidal? Like a therapist that has been suicidal.
I have been realizing that being suicidal is more common that I thought but still a very precise feeling, that it is really impossible to relate to if someone has not be3n there.

Just trying to see options with you ...

 

[xxAbigailxx]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Does that mean your situation is genuinely hopeless and you are aware of it?
For some people, their depression is the result of the bleak outlook and they don't have any "cognitive distortion."
If you feel like, please post your feeling here.
Anyway I wish you the best

I...am not 100% sure? It really feels like that...and until now I only got worse...never better....I dont want this to be the end, but....I really ache for some kind of escape...and I really screamed for help...I talked and asked and never did anything happen...I dont want to blame the people around me because I really think that they are trying their best? But it never was enough? I dont want to be like this...but I dont know what to do...I need help but I dont know what kind? It feels like I dont know anything...

I think everyone here, somehow or at some degree, feels like that. I am not trying to belittle your feelings, just to say that I find it quite common. I feel the same way most of the time.

Have you maybe tried to look spedifically for someone suicidal? Like a therapist that has been suicidal.
I have been realizing that being suicidal is more common that I thought but still a very precise feeling, that it is really impossible to relate to if someone has not be3n there.

Just trying to see options with you ...

I really appreciate that, you dont even know me and you still try to think of something that could help me, thank you. I never did no...I wouldnt even know how to look for someone like that...I mean, I probably cant just ask a person if they were ever suicidal, can I?

That's what they are starting to do with me. I have to fill out this chart, baseline and acute for physical, cognitive, behavioral and emotional and what is the trigger that makes me go from baseline depressed to acute depressed. I filled it out and will show the therapist next week, but I've no real confidence this is going to do anything because at the moment there is no difference between the baseline and acute

I really wish you all the luck in the world...I do know people that go to therapy, who say that it works for them and that their therapist really does help...so there is a chance that it will work for you too, I wish that for you, for everyone on here...

 

[Catastrofe]

I dont want to be like this...but I dont know what to do

This is quite an abstract answer but I write anyway, let's see if something of what I say resonates with you.
I have been finding a bit helpful, lately, not to refuse it. I know it is scary and exhausting, but I am slowly trying to accept is as a part of myself. Also, I am trying to understand a little more about it : I am following this forum, trying to read books on it, talk with my therapist about it and make also some thecnical questions. I am asking myself (and my therapist, and Google) why do some people develop this kind of thoughts and others not, if they go away, what are the theories about ... I find some relieve in it because it is not fighting anymore, it is understanding.
I am not saying it solves it all, but it is helping me a bit.

That said, I am very sorry you are feeling this way.
This community is very supportive, there is spac here for these feelings. Post here when you feel like that.

I probably cant just ask a person if they were ever suicidal, can I?

Mmm, I think you can.
I am not sure, because I got to know that under some conditions if you state you are suicidal you can face unwanted and very bad consequencies. So here we need some more advice.
For what I know, psychologist and psychiatrics are different. Psychiatrics are doctors, and they have to call the police on you or put you under treatment if they suspect you are at risk. Psychologist cannot. I have asked my psychologist : "if I will tell you I will suicide on a date ans on a time, will you have to report me?" He answered "No, I do not have to, I will not do it and I cannot stop you because this is your decision".
Not sure however about the rules everywhere...

 

[stermc]

DBT is just another useless fad. I've done it and have the workbook. You're supposed to learn all these acronyms that supposedly tell you how to behave in different situations but I've found it makes no difference to my lifelong misery.

That's not how mine works. I don't know if my therapist is just too good, but we talk more about the things leading me to my actual situations. I am always the one in control, so it works pretty well.
Since day one I told her I don't work well with acronyms and stuff, so we talk more about my feelings so I can understand myself and symptoms.

 

[HumansAreHell]

I probably cant just ask a person if they were ever suicidal, can I?

Especially if it's your therapist I would say you can. In some ways it's a two way street talking with someone about things this personal. I've asked therapists before about their past and what got them into therapy. I think those can be good things to know if you plan you open up to someone like that, it can help you gauge how much then can relate and help.

 

[smoba]

Dont know. many psychs are quacks. It might be them.

 

[autistocracy]

again...

I already had numerous therapists and not one of them could help me...they all gave up on me and now this one did too...I give up, I won't try again. I just wanna die, I just want to die

Literally in the same boat rn. My therapist said I needed a higher level of care and the "higher level of care" in question wont take me because I'm too suicidal apparently

 

[epic]

This happened to me a few days back .

 

[Unending]

I've had one or two psychiatrists formally resign from treating me.

 

[unnormal9]

I have had 12 therapists over the course of 7 years give up on me. It is no surprise; I simple wish to not exist.

 

[SexyIncél]

I was hotly suicidal, anxiety-ridden. My therapist found a second one to help

One phone meeting. The next day, I wrote a few sad lines in whatsapp. They dumped me and immediately muted me so I couldn't respond. I sent screenshots to my orig therapist and they were appalled

Now people treat me well. Why? Because:

The rich get richer
The poor get poorer
The full get stuffed
The hungry starve

 

[xxAbigailxx]

Literally in the same boat rn. My therapist said I needed a higher level of care and the "higher level of care" in question wont take me because I'm too suicidal apparently

Thats so fucked... I am so sorry :/, fuck all these hypocrites...

 

[Mtnwildflowers]

I don't have an answer to help and wish I did. "Go to therapy" is such a catch all when people don't know what to do or how to help. Then, you go to therapists who like to say, "we aren't magicians who can just wave a magic wand and make it better".

I've given up on therapy unless there's something less serious than suicidality that I want help with like a super basic relationship problem lol