My story

[patati157]

I had a normal life. 21 yrs, nice work, was in college, used to earn like 2k/month, living in a nice house with my parents. A good life.
Then I started marijuana. Nothing big right? Thats when I started going to whores, the marijuana effect made me addicted to prostitutes
All my monthly salary was to buy marijuana/hash and to prostitutes. I spent all my money on this, like 25.000$.
Then I started other drugs like MDMA and LSD. Dropped off college and all I wanted was pot and whores. Then I met this special prostitute, one day she asked if I could sleep in her place, and smoke pot with her. I did, then we started seeing each other every day, I started living in her place and dropped off work. I spent all the rest of my money with her, with food, pot, and gifts like 5k$ wasted. I was in love. With a whore.
She was still working as a prostitute, I used to wait in my house while she was working. In the end of the day I would go to sleep in her place, every single day.
Then she had to move, and as a prostitute with nothing in her name she needed a guarantor to rent a new place. Thats right. Me, the idiot.
I rented a nice apartament for her, then we started living together, she worked on the apartament while I waited in my parents house, so basically I rented a brothel in my name.
We smoked a lot of pot every day, drinking alcohol, more and more, for like 2 months, then I started loosing the sense of reality.
I introduced the prostitute to my mom as my girlfriend. I wanted her to stop being a whore, but she wouldnt of course, so in a jealous act I went to see another whore just to "cheat" on my "girlfriend" and I decided to mix vodka, energy drink, viagra, MDMA and LSD. The result is that the drug abuse made me think I found god and I fell into a deep psychosis.
I began being aggressive to people because I thought I was so smart, I said terrible things to them, including my parents.
I runned away from home because I couldnt stand that the girl I loved was a prostitute, left goodbye notes which my parents read them as suicide notes, but since I had no money left, I went to my aunts house and asked her for money. I was cleary stoned and she called my parents, I left her house and went to a motel next to my house just to smoke more hash. Then my parents somehow found me in the motel, and since I was completely stoned I said terrible things to them, and I was drove to the hospital. Later on that day I was still in Psychosis and broke everything I had(ps4, pc, 4k tv, cellphone, glasses), but before I sent messages to all my contacts saying that my parents used drugs and they wanted to kill me. My parents found out my drug abuse, that I was living with a whore, dropped off college, that I rented a whorehouse in my name and spent all my money. Then they send me to rehab, spent 1 month there.
That was 9 months ago and I cant stop thinking about suicide because of it. I spent over 30k$ in prostitutes and drugs, the girl that I loved was a prostitute and only used me, I said terrible things to my parents and everyone I knew, broke all my stuff, my parents business is going to bankrupt, dropped college and work, everybody I had contact with knows me as a junkie.
So Im here, hopeless, with no money, no work, no college, no friends, huge disappointment to my parents, diagnosed with schizophrenia. I dont know what to do, I had a good life. I destroyed my life because of a PROSTITUTE!
I wish I could sleep and never wake up again.

 

[First loss]

Well man, that sucks. You lacked self control and common sense. It was a retarded move and I seriously don't have anything positive to say about it.

You have two roads ahead of you now, as I am sure you are aware:

• Try and get your life back on the track

It might be hard, but it's worth a try. Apologize to people and just overall give it your best shot at improving your life. It's possible. People have got themselves out of worse situations.

• Suicide

Pretty self explanatory. I would like to remind you that you can kill yourself at pretty much every point of your life and that it's in your best interest to give it a shot to repairing your broken life. I believe in you.

Overall, it's your choice.

Best of luck.

 

[Only Me Here]

I had a normal life. 21 yrs, nice work, was in college, used to earn like 2k/month, living in a nice house with my parents. A good life.
Then I started marijuana. Nothing big right? Thats when I started going to whores, the marijuana effect made me addicted to whores.
All my monthly salary was to buy marijuana/hash and to whores. I spent all my money on this, like 25.000$.
Then I started other drugs like MDMA and LSD. Dropped off college and all I wanted was pot and whores. Then I met this special whore, one day she asked if I could sleep in her place, and smoke pot with her. I did, then we started seeing each other every day, I started living in her place and dropped off work. I spent all the rest of my money with her, with food, pot, and gifts like 5k$ wasted. I was in love. With a whore.
She was still working as a whore, I used to wait in my house while she was working. In the end of the day I would go to sleep in her place, every single day.
Then she had to move, and as a whore with nothing in her name she needed a guarantor to rent a new place. Thats right. Me, the idiot.
I rented a nice apartament for her, then we started living together, she worked on the apartament while I waited in my parents house, so basically I rented a whorehouse in my name.
We smoked a lot of pot every day, drinking alcohol, more and more, for like 2 months, then I started loosing the sense of reality.
I introduced the whore to my mom as my girlfriend. I wanted her to stop being a whore, but she wouldnt of course, so in a jealous act I went to see another whore just to "cheat" on my "girlfriend" and I decided to mix vodka, energy drink, viagra, MDMA and LSD. The result is that the drug abuse made me think I found god and I fell into a deep psychosis.
I began being aggressive to people because I thought I was so smart, I said terrible things to them, including my parents.
I runned away from home because I couldnt stand that the girl I loved was a whore, left goodbye notes which my parents read them as suicide notes, but since I had no money left, I went to my aunts house and asked her for money. I was cleary stoned and she called my parents, I left her house and went to a motel next to my house just to smoke more hash. Then my parents somehow found me in the motel, and since I was completely stoned I said terrible things to them, and I was drove to the hospital. Later on that day I was still in Psychosis and broke everything I had(ps4, pc, 4k tv, cellphone, glasses), but before I sent messages to all my contacts saying that my parents used drugs and they wanted to kill me. My parents found out my drug abuse, that I was living with a whore, dropped off college, that I rented a whorehouse in my name and spent all my money. Then they send me to rehab, spent 1 month there.
That was 9 months ago and I cant stop thinking about suicide because of it. I spent over 30k$ in whores and drugs, the girl that I loved was a whore and only used me, I said terrible things to my parents and everyone I knew, broke all my stuff, my parents business is going to bankrupt, dropped college and work, everybody I had contact with knows me as a junkie.
So Im here, hopeless, with no money, no work, no college, no friends, huge disappointment to my parents, diagnosed with schizophrenia. I dont know what to do, I had a good life. I destroyed my life because of a WHORE !
I wish I could sleep and never wake up again.

Seriously? How many times can you use the word whore over and over? And what exactly are you if they are whores?

They are human beings that you are not above.

Edit: Thanks to the mod who edited it, The language was detracting from the story.

 

[SinisterKid]

No, you destroyed your life because of you. You made all the decisions and choices, no one put a gun to your head and forced you to do any of it. It was all down to you and until you accept that, you will not be able to change a damned thing. Its easy to blame others for our own mistakes. You have made those mistakes, own them and learn from them.

I am going to hazard a guess that your first language is not English. You use the term Whore as a derogatory label. When you first started sleeping with her I am sure your feelings did not develop the way they did because you thought of her as a whore. But because everything fell apart and you want someone to blame, she is the easy target. You might want to think about that a little bit.

You had a good life, you are obviously intelligent and you appear to have regrets about the way you treated other people. You can rectify all of that if you want to, but the onus once again is on you. Only you can change you and make amends.

 

[Jean Améry]

The judgement is thick here. We all make stupid mistakes and say stupid things. Lets give the kid a break, shall we? Schizophrenia is a very serious condition.

I hope you will find the courage to improve your situation. Good luck to you.

 

[SinisterKid]

You are probably right Jean, but mine is not meant as judgement, just the slant/my take of the situation as the reader. If it comes across as judgemental, then I apologise, that was not the intent behind my post.

 

[Weems]

Lots of weed, "found God," became psychotic. I think I know a bit about where you're at, my man. It's called schizophrenia. Sobriety + psychiatric help is what you and I both need.

Also another vote for you easing up on the "whore" talk.

 

[Jean Améry]

You are probably right Jean, but mine is not meant as judgement, just the slant/my take of the situation as the reader. If it comes across as judgemental, then I apologise, that was not the intent behind my post.

I understand, you certainly don't need to apologise. Your thoughtfulness is appreciated. I think everyone who ended up in a rotten situation and did not wilfully hurt someone-else deserves compassion. Especially in a place like this.

I know I did some pretty stupid things in the past and failed to do the right things. There are some very smart people who claim free will simply does not exist: if that is true our friend here is not responsible for what happened to him. Of course this cannot be proven so it could go either way but tolerance is a good principle.

I know I'm not holier than the pope and this is not self-aggrandisement. I think I need to try to be a better person so that maybe I won't feel so rotten anymore.

It probably took quite some courage to post that story and he changed the language after being alerted that it's derogatory. I truly hope the OP will be allright.