Hi all,
I was originally planning on explaining my situation and why I have to do what I'm going to do; however, I can't risk the scenario where someone in my life recognizes my situation, and then I end up screwed in the long run.
So, I plan to CTB this weekend. I haven't determined yet if I will do it Friday or Saturday, but it will be one of the two. I've done loads of research on SS and the web as a whole. I have made the decision that full suspension will be my best bet.
I know a place where I won't be found for much longer than 30 minutes, I won't be found in even a few hours. I plan to go to the movies with a friend, smoke some Mary Jane, then afterwards continue to smoke and drink. I have zero tolerance to either right now, I will be heavily intoxicated. I believe the drop IS high enough that I could accomplish a long drop, but I am not confident that I will calculate correctly or fall the right way to break the neck/avoid decapitation.
I am hoping that the smoking and drinking will be enough to curb SI, and that I'll be intoxicated well enough that I need not even care about any potential reasons I may want to live. I have purchased a long length of 11.4mm static climbing rope, will suspend said rope from some rafters, and use a chair to accomplish the suspension. Once that chair is kicked, there will be no backing out. It will be lights out forever, and my decision will have been made.
This seems to me to be the *least* painful method I can reasonably accomplish, with a high mortality rate. SN does not appeal to me for several reasons, and the difficulty to even obtain some now makes it even less appealing. Of course I would really love to go out nice and peacefully from an opiate OD, but without knowing the purity, there's just no way to know if it will work. I also wouldn't love going to a drug store and being denied needles (never shot up before), as that's the best way to OD on opiates, that would just make me more depressed.
My questions to you all, is a slip knot the best knot to achieve my goal, or a noose? I know for partial that slip knot is recommended. And do I have to do that "below the left ear" thing? Lastly, I should place the rope above the Adam's apple under the chin, correct?
Thank you all for taking the time to read my huge wall of text and answering my questions, this websites help and support, even through lurking, has been absolutely amazing. My suffering will end soon, finally.
I'll be on to read your answers, and to answer any questions before my time to CTB comes.
All my love,
idonthaveanother
I was originally planning on explaining my situation and why I have to do what I'm going to do; however, I can't risk the scenario where someone in my life recognizes my situation, and then I end up screwed in the long run.
So, I plan to CTB this weekend. I haven't determined yet if I will do it Friday or Saturday, but it will be one of the two. I've done loads of research on SS and the web as a whole. I have made the decision that full suspension will be my best bet.
I know a place where I won't be found for much longer than 30 minutes, I won't be found in even a few hours. I plan to go to the movies with a friend, smoke some Mary Jane, then afterwards continue to smoke and drink. I have zero tolerance to either right now, I will be heavily intoxicated. I believe the drop IS high enough that I could accomplish a long drop, but I am not confident that I will calculate correctly or fall the right way to break the neck/avoid decapitation.
I am hoping that the smoking and drinking will be enough to curb SI, and that I'll be intoxicated well enough that I need not even care about any potential reasons I may want to live. I have purchased a long length of 11.4mm static climbing rope, will suspend said rope from some rafters, and use a chair to accomplish the suspension. Once that chair is kicked, there will be no backing out. It will be lights out forever, and my decision will have been made.
This seems to me to be the *least* painful method I can reasonably accomplish, with a high mortality rate. SN does not appeal to me for several reasons, and the difficulty to even obtain some now makes it even less appealing. Of course I would really love to go out nice and peacefully from an opiate OD, but without knowing the purity, there's just no way to know if it will work. I also wouldn't love going to a drug store and being denied needles (never shot up before), as that's the best way to OD on opiates, that would just make me more depressed.
My questions to you all, is a slip knot the best knot to achieve my goal, or a noose? I know for partial that slip knot is recommended. And do I have to do that "below the left ear" thing? Lastly, I should place the rope above the Adam's apple under the chin, correct?
Thank you all for taking the time to read my huge wall of text and answering my questions, this websites help and support, even through lurking, has been absolutely amazing. My suffering will end soon, finally.
I'll be on to read your answers, and to answer any questions before my time to CTB comes.
All my love,
idonthaveanother
