My significant other finally broke it off for now, nothing is stopping me

[SinfulScarab]

So I knew my boyfriend was going to want to go on a "break". Things were weird and we are both in a bad mental spot. Honestly, he was the one stable thing I had left and everything else is uncertain. So tonight we declared this break. The way he talks really makes it sound like he may have only been using me this whole time. Straight back to nicotine and for the first time ever, drinking myself away. I have an ideal way to ctb, now I just have to figure out if it really is what I want, and when.

 

[CentreMid]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. If it's any consolation, my ex and I also recently parted ways, so you're not alone in that regard I guess. It really hurts, doesn't it? I know I'm absolutey broken up. Anywho, I hope you find peace. Best of luck.

 

[SinfulScarab]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. If it's any consolation, my ex and I also recently parted ways, so you're not alone in that regard I guess. It really hurts, doesn't it? I know I'm absolutey broken up. Anywho, I hope you find peace. Best of luck.

Yeah, it hurts like hell. I thought I'd be more ready since I saw it coming. I'm also very broken up. I don't like putting my being alive onto another person but really he is why I'm still alive. Could be homeless in just a couple months and my current living situation is hell. He was enough motivation to keep going. I made sure he never knew that he was the only reason I'm still here. Still lost him. I don't know anymore. I just hope I can work up the courage to actually ctb.

 

[Valky]

I See your pain and I am incredibly sorry.

Please remember tho to not make any impulsive decisions. Suicide in my eyes, should really be the last resort.

I wish you all the best <3

 

[SantasHelper]

I'm actually in the same boat. Recently broke it off with my bestfriend (we were in a situationship). I've been smoking and drinking as well, thinking about CTB (to do it or not) and methods.

I hope you find peace soon

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really awful being trapped in that situation, but at least you aren't trapped here and have the option of a method that you see as being ideal. But anyway I wish you the best, life really is so unnecessarily cruel and I find it horrible how existing here can very easily get much worse.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

So I knew my boyfriend was going to want to go on a "break". Things were weird and we are both in a bad mental spot. Honestly, he was the one stable thing I had left and everything else is uncertain. So tonight we declared this break. The way he talks really makes it sound like he may have only been using me this whole time. Straight back to nicotine and for the first time ever, drinking myself away. I have an ideal way to ctb, now I just have to figure out if it really is what I want, and when.

If you are open to suggestion, I would sit on this situation for a little bit. It could be that the way he has been was in turn causing a lot of the negative mental health stuff you have been struggling with. Him having been a stable part of your life doesn't mean he was necessarily an overall good part. Having some space to clear your head may end up being for the best. For now, while you are undecided on CTB do what things you can to give yourself some peace and happiness during your days, you deserve that whether it feels that way right now or not. I've been where you've been before and needed that space to give myself a new perspective. There is never any guarantee with these things, just possibility. So don't set expectations, but keep an open mind if you can. You're in my thoughts.

 

[SleepingLessons]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you're in such an incredibly different spot. It's okay that you're having to use "unhealthy" coping mechanisms right now to cope, there's nothing wrong with using alcohol once or twice to deal, so long as it doesn't become a longer thing.

I have an ideal way to ctb, now I just have to figure out if it really is what I want, and when.

Just wanted to say that I hope you can at some point feel proud of how well you're dealing with this. You're doing such a good job by not being impulsive, that takes a lot of strength. CTB is always an option but it shouldn't be the first, and it sounds like you're in a difficult spot, but things could get better. I hope life gives you a break soon.

 

[SinfulScarab]

I See your pain and I am incredibly sorry.

Please remember tho to not make any impulsive decisions. Suicide in my eyes, should really be the last resort.

I wish you all the best <3

I really appreciate this. It's been a Rollercoaster, ended up back with him but still. Life is just kicking me down and even with him it's still too much.

I'm actually in the same boat. Recently broke it off with my bestfriend (we were in a situationship). I've been smoking and drinking as well, thinking about CTB (to do it or not) and methods.

I hope you find peace soon

The situationships are the hardest sometimes. I hate to fall back onto smoking and drinking but it really just helps even for a moment to step away from the bigger picture.

It must be really awful being trapped in that situation, but at least you aren't trapped here and have the option of a method that you see as being ideal. But anyway I wish you the best, life really is so unnecessarily cruel and I find it horrible how existing here can very easily get much worse.

Honestly this situation is the least of my problems. Sorted things out and realized it doesn't matter. I still feel miserable, don't want to have to function as an average person. Even getting up is a chore. Having a significant other hasn't changed anything really. I appreciate the wishes. It seems like every method has its own issues, I'm still partly undecided.

If you are open to suggestion, I would sit on this situation for a little bit. It could be that the way he has been was in turn causing a lot of the negative mental health stuff you have been struggling with. Him having been a stable part of your life doesn't mean he was necessarily an overall good part. Having some space to clear your head may end up being for the best. For now, while you are undecided on CTB do what things you can to give yourself some peace and happiness during your days, you deserve that whether it feels that way right now or not. I've been where you've been before and needed that space to give myself a new perspective. There is never any guarantee with these things, just possibility. So don't set expectations, but keep an open mind if you can. You're in my thoughts.

Thank you so much for the kind words. It's nice to have people not force the ideal of feeling this way being bad, but instead to feel better. There's a very real sense of help here.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you're in such an incredibly different spot. It's okay that you're having to use "unhealthy" coping mechanisms right now to cope, there's nothing wrong with using alcohol once or twice to deal, so long as it doesn't become a longer thing.

Just wanted to say that I hope you can at some point feel proud of how well you're dealing with this. You're doing such a good job by not being impulsive, that takes a lot of strength. CTB is always an option but it shouldn't be the first, and it sounds like you're in a difficult spot, but things could get better. I hope life gives you a break soon.

I've said this a whole lot but thank you so much. It's been insanely difficult lately. The highs of life are when I forget that life really exists outside of my current experience. The lows are when I have to remeber that this really is my life. I don't want to leave particular people. But recently the lows have gone past caring about how it's gonna affect these people. It's scary. I don't want to be impulsive. That being recognized is really relieving.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you're in such an incredibly different spot. It's okay that you're having to use "unhealthy" coping mechanisms right now to cope, there's nothing wrong with using alcohol once or twice to deal, so long as it doesn't become a longer thing.

Just wanted to say that I hope you can at some point feel proud of how well you're dealing with this. You're doing such a good job by not being impulsive, that takes a lot of strength. CTB is always an option but it shouldn't be the first, and it sounds like you're in a difficult spot, but things could get better. I hope life gives you a break soon.

I've said this a whole lot but thank you so much. It's been insanely difficult lately. The highs of life are when I forget that life really exists outside of my current experience. The lows are when I have to remeber that this really is my life. I don't want to leave particular people. But recently the lows have gone past caring about how it's gonna affect these people. It's scary. I don't want to be impulsive. That being recognized is really relieving.