Venting My reason

[Me Me Me]

First of all I must say that my real name is Manuel and that I am 28 years old. I know that this is crazy to say on a page like this but I don't care anymore, my life is made. To cut the story short in 2012 in high school I became the boyfriend of a beautiful girl, the most beautiful in this world I would say. She is my first and only girlfriend of my entire life. I do not want nor do I plan to have one ever again. I am hers for all my existence. She is the only one I have been intimate with, the only mouth I have kissed and for a long time I was also her "first and only". During our entire relationship I was kind of a jerk, an idiot. I did many bad things but she still stayed by my side despite everything she put up with my bad things for many years. She told me many times to get married and have children but I never wanted to, I always said "we are too young" and now it is too late to do it. At the end of 2021 we broke up and despite doing everything possible to win her back, in the end I realized that there is no turning back. My girlfriend, my love, my little star, my sunrise, she is the most beautiful thing that has ever touched my life. She is everything to me, without her I am nobody, I feel empty and adrift. In a life marked by loneliness and rejection, she was the only one who was always by my side. I have no friends and I am a very lonely and shy person, often withdrawn into myself. She was the only thing that kept me awake in the midst of this existence and now she is gone forever. She will not return. Now I must pay my sentence. Sooner or later I will do it whatever way. Disappear from this world and that will have been the second best thing that has ever happened to me (only after her). I miss you so much my love, so much. I can't live without you.