Venting My parents suspecting makes me want to KMS even more

[tooafraidtodiez]

So long story short my dad was at home the moment i receive my international package. And since i couldn't show him what it is, he began telling my whole family about it, about how i bought a suspicious item and couldn't show it to anyone. Note:he is a contributing factor of why i want to CTB in the first place. This is driving me crazy, i just want a peaceful end and now i have to worry about them seizing my SN too, they haven't done anything yet so far. I know i need to be patient and wait for my test strip, scale, and cups to arrive which will probably arise more suspicion. But it's not like i can just risk failing the attempt if this SN is low purity. I have chronic illness and physical pain and they refused to let me get assisted dying, now they're trying to prevent me to CTB on my own too. This world is trully a crappy place. The last thing i want is worry about anything else beside drinking the SN, i need to build up the courage to do it. Or rather i have to, looking at my circumstances.

 

[RottenSoul]

So long story short my dad was at home the moment i receive my international package. And since i couldn't show him what it is, he began telling my whole family about it, about how i bought a suspicious item and couldn't show it to anyone. Note:he is a contributing factor of why i want to CTB in the first place. This is driving me crazy, i just want a peaceful end and now i have to worry about them seizing my SN too, they haven't done anything yet so far. I know i need to be patient and wait for my test strip, scale, and cups to arrive which will probably arise more suspicion. But it's not like i can just risk failing the attempt if this SN is low purity. I have chronic illness and physical pain and they refused to let me get assisted dying, now they're trying to prevent me to CTB on my own too. This world is trully a crappy place. The last thing i want is worry about anything else beside drinking the SN, i need to build up the courage to do it. Or rather i have to, looking at my circumstances.

Do you have these pick up delivery boxes where you live? Whenever i buy something i wouldn't want my family knowing i usually use these or in the worst case scenario i call or email the delivery company to wait for me to pick it up from their place. Anyway i am sorry you have reached the point of physical pain that makes you want to ctb. I hope the best for you!

 

[rainrainrain]

I see you say you'll ctb before your favorite show ends.. what's the show? Also family is mental yea, nearly killed myself before moving out on my own. What do they do specifically that's brought you here?

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

Do you have these pick up delivery boxes where you live? Whenever i buy something i wouldn't want my family knowing i usually use these or in the worst case scenario i call or email the delivery company to wait for me to pick it up from their place. Anyway i am sorry you have reached the point of physical pain that makes you want to ctb. I hope the best for you!

No i don't have currently in my house. Probably just have to risk suspicion. Thank you for your kind words

I see you say you'll ctb before your favorite show ends.. what's the show? Also family is mental yea, nearly killed myself before moving out on my own. What do they do specifically that's brought you here?

It's One Piece. Also my dad is only a small contributing factor for the many reasons i want to CTB and it's kind of weird to explain. But most of the reason i want to CTB is due to my disabilty and physical pain. My dad made everything worse by making people around me turn against me after i made a small mistake (again i can't really explain it since it's weird).

 

[rainrainrain]

ahh yeah one piece will never end lol

And I see.. yeah sometimes it can just be a feeling, not really any concrete individual thing that makes someone wanna ctb. Sorry for the shitty dad and the pain..