Venting My parents smothered me

[ghostgirl321]

I feel so fucking helpless in this world. I also feel extremely guilty. I've had what looks like the perfect life; went to a great school, had a roof over my head, two ever-loving parents and went to uni. But I've just come to terms with the fact that my parents overparented me. There were no mistakes that I was allowed to make, I would never fuck up school projects on my own and learn -- my parents would be receiving covert B+'s while I sat there and learnt jack shit. I literally sat in front of my dad today and asked him why he didn't think to not cottonwool me. He apologised profusely. My parents grew up in entirely opposite circumstances and were obviously doing their best to break their cycle of abuse. I'm so fucking ashamed that I can't get past this. I have literally gotten to a point where I am entirely stripped of identity; I have nothing. It is not freeing, it is cowardly. I have no motivations or goals for this world. Going sober made it even more fucking hellish and permanent. I'm so scared to do anything about it yet.

 

[endless_pain]

I am sorry you feel these bad feelings although they must be valid, life can be cruel.
Eventually there is still trauma in your family, that's the reason I believe someone should think twice or thrice before giving life to other human beings.
It's not easy to break the cycle. One major issue is with identity in fact.
I hope you the best by the way

 

[ghostgirl321]

I am sorry you feel these bad feelings although they must be valid, life can be cruel.
Eventually there is still trauma in your family, that's the reason I believe someone should think twice or thrice before giving life to other human beings.
It's not easy to break the cycle. One major issue is with identity in fact.
I hope you the best by the way

thank you for seeing me & responding. i agree - i think it can be a selfish act to have children when you haven't healed yourself. i just wish we had humane choices too. i hope you're well

 

[FuneralCry]

Bringing life into this world undeniably is so cruel and selfish as the reality is that there was never a need for life to exist in the first place, I think that the non existent should just be left alone in peace. But anyway I wish you the best, it must be tiring feeling trapped in that situation.

 

[Archness]

Kinda in the same boat. Almost everyone in my life was nice and forgiving, apart from mother. I myself was a nice good kid.

But the problem with "niceness" is that it's shallow. No one became good friends or lovers because of niceness. I was well liked, but despite that I was clearly autist af and could never get a serious friendship or any other real interpersonal connection. My social connections, popularity, friendships, etc where largely a facade.

Now I'm all alone.