Method My n has arrived!!

[Schopenhauer]

This is it! I'm so happy right now!

I just drove 200 miles (round trip) to pick up my package (I'd hired a girl online to receive it on my behalf). Now I have the bottles right here, locked in my safe. It was sent by A on October 15th, and she received it on the 5th of November. I can't believe how fast it was. It was very carefully packed.

I'm profoundly grateful for the people here who pointed me in the right direction, and for the very existence of this place.

I've already set my date: November 17th, next Saturday. The hotel suite is booked. I'll do it at 10AM. I'll create a proper goodbye thread Friday afternoon. Right now I'm on research mode, and also tidying up my financial affairs. Counting today, I've 10 days of life remaining. Shit just got real!

Now that I have the N, I'm terrified of vomiting. I've read the relevant PPEH chapters, but in light of the recent contradictory statements (the October 2018 edition changed the recommendations, with no justification given). I'd appreciate any additional info/tips. I know some of you have thought about this a lot, and have some experience with antiemetics. Even idle speculation is fine.

 

[skitliv]

Congratulations, happy for you

 

[okyeah]

I'm happy for you!! Glad it worked out

 

[Throwaway563078]

Good luck! Happy for you but feeling slightly envious. You'll be free soon

 

[wanttodie]

I'm happy for you im Canada like to get N but it wont make it over the border

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I am really pleased you got what you needed, despite the hassle involved. That aside, I won't be happy to see you go, because I always considered you a wise, thoughtful and valued poster. Hopefully you can use the time you have left to tie up any loose ends in your life and research your method to minimize the chances of vomiting etc. If you're committed then I can only hope things go off without a hitch. Good luck in your preparations, and talk to you again soon. I'll be around in your goodbye topic.

 

[Kyrok]

Make your death matter. Suicide is a terrible thing to waste.

 

[1234dave]

Make your death matter. Suicide is a terrible thing to waste.

how do you intend to make yours matter

 

[Chinaski]

Make your death matter. Suicide is a terrible thing to waste.

Not sure what you mean by that but nobody needs to feel like their own passing is a martyrdom if they don't wish to, nobody owes anyone else anything in this regard.

 

[1234dave]

the poster no doubt means doing something illegal, rape murder etc

I could be wrong however

 

[Kyrok]

I can't give up the idea that suicide is a huge act. Imagine burning a billion dollars. What would make that worthwhile? Something so big, why not make it matter to the world?

 

[Chinaski]

I can't give up the idea that suicide is a huge act. Imagine burning a billion dollars. What would make that worthwhile? Something so big, why not make it matter to the world?

It only matters to the individual and, by extension, his or her loved ones.

 

[1234dave]

I can't give up the idea that suicide is a huge act. Imagine burning a billion dollars. What would make that worthwhile? Something so big, why not make it matter to the world?

I get your point. But in what way? Do you mean by it giving you invincibility?

 

[Kyrok]

How about this: I'm in chronic pain and my state is draconian about pain management. It is easier to get marijuana than opioids. So, maybe suicide at my pain doc's? Or at the state legislature during a 'don't punish patients' rally.

 

[1234dave]

How about this: I'm in chronic pain and my state is draconian about pain management. It is easier to get marijuana than opioids. So, maybe suicide at my pain doc's? Or at the state legislature during a 'don't punish patients' rally.

yes I see what you mean. Full respect to anyone that can do that

 

[Chinaski]

How about this: I'm in chronic pain and my state is draconian about pain management. It is easier to get marijuana than opioids. So, maybe suicide at my pain doc's? Or at the state legislature during a 'don't punish patients' rally.

There are two possible outcomes to this.

1) they'll change legislation, just for you, because the nation is so overcome with grief at your deed and you become the poster child for poor healthcare. They'll even call it Kyrok's Law.

2) they'll write you off as a nutcase and you'll be forgotten just as quickly as if you did it alone at home.

 

[Kyrok]

Well, there are ways to have an impact. For example, have a meeting with my state representative, discuss the problem and what legislation is needed to fix it. Air the meeting on FB live and shoot yourself on video at the end.

 

[1234dave]

There are two possible outcomes to this.

1) they'll change legislation, just for you, because the nation is so overcome with grief at your deed and you become the poster child for poor healthcare. They'll even call it Kyrok's Law.

2) they'll write you off as a nutcase and you'll be forgotten just as quickly as if you did it alone at home.

it does draw attention to the issues though and that's all that is within his power

 

[Chinaski]

Well, there are ways to have an impact. For example, have a meeting with my state representative, discuss the problem and what legislation is needed to fix it. Air the meeting on FB live and shot yourself on video at the end.

Ok

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

You can try taking some metocloprimide and seeing how it effects you prior to your exit, or can be done on the 2 day regimine. If it's well tolerated it probably won't matter if you take 60mg versus the 30mg mentioned in the oct. Ppeh. There is quite a laundry list of "possible" side effects one of which is nausea, which is the concerning one while trying to exit.

I'm happy for you that you have your peaceful method at hand.

 

[Chinaski]

You can try taking some metocloprimide and seeing how it effects you prior to your exit, or can be done on the 2 day regimine. If it's well tolerated it probably won't matter if you take 60mg versus the 30mg mentioned in the oct. Ppeh. There is quite a laundry list of "possible" side effects one of which is nausea, which is the concerning one while trying to exit.

I'm happy for you that you have your peaceful method at hand.

I took just one a week or so back and my left eye has twitched ever since, so this is pretty sound advice to test the meto effects first.

 

[Chinaski]

I have also thought of setting myself ablaze in a somewhat public setting to make some political point...a life, can be so powerful.

Very, very few people change anything about the world with their own suicide. Suicide is just a means of passing, like dying of cancer, your loved ones will grieve, the wider world will continue.

 

[Chinaski]

Oh, and @Schopenhauer , entirely up to you of course, but if possible it might be worth putting a needle in the N and getting a small taste in advance, so you know what you're in for. It might not be nice, but it would probably allay any fears about the taste.

 

[Retched]

Congrats, you're now on your journey to peace.

 

[Schopenhauer]

Thanks for you kind words, people.

@Kyrok: my suicide will be very meaningful to myself. I'm doing this for me, and no one else. I want to die in obscurity, just as I've lived. I'm not trying to send a message. Use your own death as you see fit (but please don't harm others).

@Chinaski and @Justanotherconsumer: experimenting with the meto is a very sensible idea. Tomorrow I'll try 30mg after lunch. If everything goes smoothly, I'll try 60mg on Friday, after a big lunch. This way I can see if there're any problems.

Oh, and I intend to sample the taste later this week. Not looking forward to it, though.

 

[Chinaski]

Literally nobody appears to be recommending 60 as a stat dose anymore, only Nitschke ever did that and now he's halved it, by all accounts 30 will be fine - I've read that for some, 60 can lead to nausea anyway, which is obviously not something you'd want.

 

[Schopenhauer]

Literally nobody appears to be recommending 60 as a stat dose anymore, only Nitschke ever did that and now he's halved it, by all accounts 30 will be fine - I've read that for some, 60 can lead to nausea anyway, which is obviously not something you'd want.

That's good to know. Too much of a good thing can be a problem. Let us see how the 30mg trial goes.
And I intend to combine the meto with Ondansetron (Zofran) for its serotonin blocker effect. I'll have to check this combination in advance as well, to see if there're unwanted effects. This will be my Friday trial, instead of 60mg (I've checked the recommended stat doses, and you're right.)

 

[Chinaski]

Let us know how you get on with the taste. I suspect there's a good reason why Peter Smedley's last words were "Water! Water!".

 

[Schopenhauer]

One more thing: I don't care about his motives, but A is a humanitarian. He does a lot of good, even if he's only in it for the money. He prevents much more suffering than many brainwashed doctors with their pro-life crap.

 

[Idorus]

If it isn't already a natural thing to do while drinking N, but holding your nose (not with fingers but just naturally) masks at least 80-95% of the taste and on its turn lessens the chance to vomit. As we all know, smell and taste are closely related and smell is responsible for that high rate of the flavours we taste. Pure chocolate immediately after the drink would solve a lot after-taste (the moment you breathe through both nose & mouth again) as well. I never worried so much about the taste with N because of these intentions.