Venting My mother prevents me from ctb

[Eren]

I am clear that I want to die in the short/medium term, but knowing that my mother would have such a bad time prevents me from doing my CTB, I feel in a prison.

Someone else in the same situation?

 

[TiredHorse]

I'm right there with you! She is the single biggest restraint from my ctb. I wish I could hate her or resent her, but she has been too kind to me over the last few years of hell, and I can't bring myself to focus my resentment at her --I just resent my situation. After all, she's a mother, she's just being what loving mothers are.

 

[Afterman]

Yes and I have no idea how to get over it. It would destroy her but life has destroyed me.

 

[Witt Smith]

Yes my mom is to selfish I want to go but she is like no way

 

[Sigurd Bonehill]

Same here.
The pain is unbearable but knowing how much I'd hurt them from ctb is making me think twice every time I get close to going through with my method

 

[Eren]

I'm right there with you! She is the single biggest restraint from my ctb. I wish I could hate her or resent her, but she has been too kind to me over the last few years of hell, and I can't bring myself to focus my resentment at her --I just resent my situation. After all, she's a mother, she's just being what loving mothers are.

I'm in the same situation

 

[MsM3talGamer]

My cruel and emotionally neglectful mother helped my psycho father destroy me. I couldn't care less about my fucking family when I CTB.

 

[AveryConure]

Same way. I don't really care about anyone else but knowing my death will probably fuck her life up unlike everyone else is the only thing that's making me stick around at least around the holidays, but I honestly think next year it's more that I need to die so I'm hoping I can ctb by February.

 

[Crazy I]

Yeah both of my parents are the biggest obstacle for me to ctb. Especially when both of them sounds like they are on their last straw. Theres always this thought that if I ctb then its possible that both of them will lose their mind and its a very disturbing thought.

 

[Empty Smile]

My mom is one of those who will be destroyed when I ctb. But she also knows and understands that I'm barely hanging on.

 

[cap]

I am in the very same situation. It will be very hard for her to cope.

 

[NoOneKnows]

My cruel and emotionally neglectful mother helped my psycho father destroy me. I couldn't care less about my fucking family when I CTB.

same here

 

[hunter_lewis]

My cruel and emotionally neglectful mother helped my psycho father destroy me. I couldn't care less about my fucking family when I CTB.

you are very lucky in a way

 

[NoOneKnows]

you are very lucky in a way

disturbingly ignorant thing to say....you know most people that end up CTB are coming from abusive /very dysfunctional enviroments.Just because one have abusive parents, doesnt mean they make it easier for you to die, my vicious mother used my previous ctb attempt against me, wanted to take my disability payment, havign full control over my life and so many otehr nasty things that normal person could never come up with

 

[hunter_lewis]

disturbingly ignorant thing to say....you know most people that end up CTB are coming from abusive /very dysfunctional enviroments.Just because one have abusive parents, doesnt mean they make it easier for you to die, my vicious mother used my previous ctb attempt against me, wanted to take my disability payment, havign full control over my life and so many otehr nasty things that normal person could never come up with

what I meant was that at least it seemed from his post that if he didn't give a damn about his mother because she was so mean to him, that it would make ctb a little easier for him.
I wish I couldn't care about my family, it would make dying easier. My family is pretty functional and non abusive, it makes wanting to die hell because you know you are hurting nice and innocent people. But alas I am dying not because of depression but because I have chronic pain with no medical solution.
Edit: of course I only meant this one specific post, not ALL people from abusive families.

 

[BjartNO]

Someone else in the same situation?

Yes, the exact same situation. However, I don't have it in me to stomach my situation much longer.

 

[OnlyMercy]

People always find a way to continue with life after the death of a loved one.

Both my parents have dealt with close loses in recent times. Although my passing as a son will be somewhat different, death is death and will be accepted for what it is at the end of the day.

I did not ask to be brought into this life or placed in this painful situation with multiple health concerns. The decision to bring me into this planet may have been done with positive and well founded intentions however we do not live life on "intention" and this does not mitigate my current level of actual lived suffering.

 

[b4sun]

Sadly theres people just don't understand us , why we want to do it.
but if you an adult you're the one that decide your own life , i hope she knows that .
and i see you're AOT fans huh? my current situations is hard on me i really don't think
i can last till the AOT season 3 part 2 starts.

 

[Fucking loving it]

I can't do it bc of my son. We already lost my 10 year old daughter. Beyond frustrating.

 

[LiveSlowDieFast]

Yes! Both of my parents are really important to me and I'm extremely fortunate to have them, but it puts me in a weird spot. There's this constant feeling of "I don't want to be alive anymore" that shrouds everything I do and feel, but I keep on going for them...

 

[ron_g]

Your parents believe they bestowed upon you the "gift of life" when in reality you're their slaves. And they don't even grasp it. All of us, we and our parents, are victims of evolution.

 

[piratemaverick]

I am clear that I want to die in the short/medium term, but knowing that my mother would have such a bad time prevents me from doing my CTB, I feel in a prison.

Someone else in the same situation?

I agree it's the one person in this world I truly feel bad leaving...