my mother keeps forcing me to find a job

[patheticpartner]

Wow. I'm really sorry you're going through that :( You remind me a lot of my current living situation. I've also been brought up to be coddled, and controlled by my parents too that it became hard to gain independence (and still is tbh). I also lack experience to work "entry level" that requires 2-3 years of actual work, but my parents are pushing the whole, get a master's so it'll make a difference. I can't even lie on the resume because I have no references unless I say I worked at some start up company that's shutdown and bankrupted lol. One of my last hopes is a research assistant job that I've been in talks to do with my prior professor if her grant is approved. Perhaps you could talk to your professors and see if you could find something similar? (I'm not sure how long you've been out of school though)

(No offense to boomers) but my parents just don't understand. They came from a time period where qualifications, certifications, and degrees were pretty much a sealed deal to find work without traditional experience. I know people who went back to school to get a master's and are still unemployed but are in even deeper debt and thinking about ctb'ing all because they are "over-qualified" for entry-level jobs but lack experience for senior level. Only way I'd go back to school is if I was able to actually work part-time at least

Wow, I'm really sorry you're experiencing such dreadful circumstances, but I really resonate with your situation, and our parents have the same outdated idea of degrees guaranteeing jobs. The only difference is that I'm graduating this December with probably the most useless STEM bachelor's degree. I hope your prof secures that grant! I commend you for being competent enough to network with your prof. I wish I had done so.

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

Is there any way a doctor could sign you off as unfit for work because of your mental health?

I understand. I work a stressful job full time and it takes everything to not break down everyday. The best part is my own mother pressures me to do it, thinks its easy work which it fucking isn't, and hasn't worked herself in 15 years (having only done 2 days a week herself before that).

It's killing me but I'll be homeless otherwise. Why live to work.

 

[heretogethelp]

fuck, why no one understands that I don't have any strength to live. am I too old to be unemployed? yes, but I don't give a damn!

If you're sick and disabled in the UK, you can claim benefits. I don't know about other parts of the world, sorry.

 

[I'm exhausted]

I hate when people do that. I was forced to have a job a lot and I tried, but it was a torture, I couldn't work properly because of my OCD, I wasn't able to hold a job usually. And then the same people talked trash about me, how I'm not trying enough, how I'm lazy and worthless etc. People want to teach you how to live, give "good" advices, but they never want to understand or address your issues. They don't want to acknowledge that sometimes you're literally unfit to work.

You explained my life. OCD is extremely debilitating and when people use it so lightly like "I'm so OCD" it's like you will never survive as me. Plus having 11 other diagnoses and begging for help just to be ghosted or rejected or told "people like you don't get treatments"- yes that's exactly what I was told by a professional so hmm..how am I supposed to get better? I also don't trust people but then I'm stupid to be hopeful that there are good people but people who truly understand are the ones who are going through the same things so hence I'm here.
Oh and I was even told I'm a lazy drama queen because I was legit exhausted from battling this for a decade and I was in the hospital because I was going to kill myself and I was in there for about 5 weeks. The doctor who commented that only saw me altogether about a week of my stay there and making judgements based on the "week" he saw me. I also got "it's only a torture if you don't have yourre limbs", "I feel bad for your friend" and "I'll commit you if you check". Who fucking threatens and make you feel worse about yourself? These people may know textbook mental health but lack in human basics: compassion and sympathy. Oh and some are just random hospital staff not even drs. If you're in NYC avoid Bellevue and Queens hospital. Horrible!

 

[BlankUser]

You explained my life. OCD is extremely debilitating and when people use it so lightly like "I'm so OCD" it's like you will never survive as me. Plus having 11 other diagnoses and begging for help just to be ghosted or rejected or told "people like you don't get treatments"- yes that's exactly what I was told by a professional so hmm..how am I supposed to get better? I also don't trust people but then I'm stupid to be hopeful that there are good people but people who truly understand are the ones who are going through the same things so hence I'm here.
Oh and I was even told I'm a lazy drama queen because I was legit exhausted from battling this for a decade and I was in the hospital because I was going to kill myself and I was in there for about 5 weeks. The doctor who commented that only saw me altogether about a week of my stay there and making judgements based on the "week" he saw me. I also got "it's only a torture if you don't have yourre limbs", "I feel bad for your friend" and "I'll commit you if you check". Who fucking threatens and make you feel worse about yourself? These people may know textbook mental health but lack in human basics: compassion and sympathy. Oh and some are just random hospital staff not even drs. If you're in NYC avoid Bellevue and Queens hospital. Horrible!

Yes, OCD can be extremely limiting. For me it was so hard to work because I always got triggered by smallest things and my intrusive thoughts went through the roof. I felt compelled to perform my weird rituals and ticks. It was exhausting. My work quality suffered a lot and no one wanted to understand me.
I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this stuff. Being tortured by your own brain is tragic. And when there are people who dismiss your suffering you feel so alone and misunderstood. We didn't choose this stupid illness. Can't we get a little bit of compassion? I sometimes wish that people who dismiss OCD could live with this illness at least for a month. I wonder what would they say then...

 

[I'm exhausted]

Yes, OCD can be extremely limiting. For me it was so hard to work because I always got triggered by smallest things and my intrusive thoughts went through the roof. I felt compelled to perform my weird rituals and ticks. It was exhausting. My work quality suffered a lot and no one wanted to understand me.
I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this stuff. Being tortured by your own brain is tragic. And when there are people who dismiss your suffering you feel so alone and misunderstood. We didn't choose this stupid illness. Can't we get a little bit of compassion? I sometimes wish that people who dismiss OCD could live with this illness at least for a month. I wonder what would they say then...

We know how "crazy" we are but also makes "sense" to do our rituals. They say we should stop but its not that easy especially when we ruminate. I tell people it's an anxiety disorder fueled by fear and an intolerance to uncertainty to the things that matter the most to us when people start saying oh I'm OCD or I have it too. Just because you see our physical compulsions doesn't mean we enjoy it. Like you said we are compelled. We are prisoners and a puppet to the bully. I wish they can understand how horrible these intrusive thoughts and images are. For me i lost my job due to panic attacks on my way to work and constantly checking my work to make sure I didn't make a mistake. I think another co-worker had it too because he would leave and go back to his office desk and check his drawer to make sure it was locked... Many times. I once had a vision that I would drop a baby off a balcony when my ex's friend asked if I wanted to hold their baby. I got so scared I squatted down and told then no while I cried. I love animals and I can't even have because of my fear that I'll accidentally hurt or get them sick. And then my contamination fear. After being assaulted in more ways than one, imagine you're the contaminant. Showering wasn't enough. I had a fear of my own tears. I used Lysol and chlorox wipes on my face and body. It was awful and still is. Feeling things are stuck on you and places that most people find ridiculous but that's OCD and now my new fear is because of this escalated checking and if it happens I'd experience exactly for the reasons why I had to check. When you have nothing that you can trust you tend to keep the very little you can trust. And then to be justified.
There's a lot I could say but you're right, no one will understand until they live your life. You are brave to still be here and I feel your pain. Which is also painful. I hope you've found some support. If you want to talk you can always PM me. It's not easy living with OCD and no one especially those who do not have it should say otherwise. They are ignorant fools. I wish you didn't have to live through this and I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs.

 

[BlankUser]

We know how "crazy" we are but also makes "sense" to do our rituals. They say we should stop but its not that easy especially when we ruminate. I tell people it's an anxiety disorder fueled by fear and an intolerance to uncertainty to the things that matter the most to us when people start saying oh I'm OCD or I have it too. Just because you see our physical compulsions doesn't mean we enjoy it. Like you said we are compelled. We are prisoners and a puppet to the bully. I wish they can understand how horrible these intrusive thoughts and images are. For me i lost my job due to panic attacks on my way to work and constantly checking my work to make sure I didn't make a mistake. I think another co-worker had it too because he would leave and go back to his office desk and check his drawer to make sure it was locked... Many times. I once had a vision that I would drop a baby off a balcony when my ex's friend asked if I wanted to hold their baby. I got so scared I squatted down and told then no while I cried. I love animals and I can't even have because of my fear that I'll accidentally hurt or get them sick. And then my contamination fear. After being assaulted in more ways than one, imagine you're the contaminant. Showering wasn't enough. I had a fear of my own tears. I used Lysol and chlorox wipes on my face and body. It was awful and still is. Feeling things are stuck on you and places that most people find ridiculous but that's OCD and now my new fear is because of this escalated checking and if it happens I'd experience exactly for the reasons why I had to check. When you have nothing that you can trust you tend to keep the very little you can trust. And then to be justified.
There's a lot I could say but you're right, no one will understand until they live your life. You are brave to still be here and I feel your pain. Which is also painful. I hope you've found some support. If you want to talk you can always PM me. It's not easy living with OCD and no one especially those who do not have it should say otherwise. They are ignorant fools. I wish you didn't have to live through this and I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs.

Wow... What you just wrote... It hit me so hard. You described so many years of my life. So many years I've lost. This is really one of the cruelest illnesses that ever existed. Having your brain as an enemy. How can you lead a normal life when you're dealing with this constant scream of thoughts? OCD sucks the joy out of everything. I've been through many types and forms of OCD, from contamination to harm OCD, from magical thinking to sexual OCD, etc. etc. It was so horrible to endure these years of torture. About 16 years of torture. I did so many weird rituals - washing, counting, checking etc. It was so exhausting. And I was judged by people so bad for that. I felt like an outcast and blamed myself for not being normal. I harmed myself a lot for that and I still do sometimes. I somehow got rid of most of my physical compulsions, educating myself about this illness and science helped me a lot. Right now I'm dealing a lot with rumination and mental compulsions. I perform weird mental rituals in my head, and these are the hardest to get rid of for me. My heart goes out to people who were so unlucky to develop this disgusting, stupid illness. And there's a lack of awareness about this illness. My relatives don't even think it's an illness. They say it's an excuse for me being lazy and I don't even know how to explain that for them, because I don't want my feelings to be dismissed again.
And yeah, if you ever wanna talk, you can PM me as well, but I have a horrible social anxiety on top of that, and I can be really awkward talking to people sometimes.

 

[insanedoomer]

fuck, why no one understands that I don't have any strength to live. am I too old to be unemployed? yes, but I don't give a damn!

i unerstand yr feelings of waste and emptyness

 

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

Wow, I'm really sorry you're experiencing such dreadful circumstances, but I really resonate with your situation, and our parents have the same outdated idea of degrees guaranteeing jobs. The only difference is that I'm graduating this December with probably the most useless STEM bachelor's degree. I hope your prof secures that grant! I commend you for being competent enough to network with your prof. I wish I had done so.

Thank you for your kind words <3

Congrats on making it to senior year! :) The last year for me was surreal to say the least. Didn't sink in that the real world was starting for me until I moved out of my dorm before graduation .

I refused to think about the future so much that I avoided responsibilities and let them pile up until the last weeks of senior year lol. (My advice to any seniors reading this is to take care of any immediate obligations even if you plan to ctb because you never know if you'll change your mind). I also seriously thought I'd ctb before graduation so didn't really think that far into the future tbh. It took a few post-grad midlife crises for me to reevaluate my circumstances

I'd say definitely take advantage of whatever opportunity may come your way because it becomes exponentially harder to keep connections and networks up after graduating (especially when you no longer see your professors in class every day). A lot of this info schools do not teach their students at all which is very surprising to me. The education system is so flawed because we are expected to slave through school work, finals, etc. and then go from that to jobs, bills, rent, etc with minimal direction